Maybe you ladies can help me

My children are 3 and 4 and I am having some MAJOR behavioral issues with them. They will NOT listen to me at ALL!!! They will listen to daddy but rarely. They completely disrespect me and I am at my wits end with them. There are SO MANY fun things I want to do with them but when they can't listen it makes me not want to do ANYTHING with them. Any suggestions??? IDK what to do.

[Amanda_Jo1209]

That's what I do too. Their time will not start if they are not standing there. Also if they get out their time starts over. Lol idk what I'm doing wrong

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 

Quoting debramommyof4:

 My kids go through phases like this.  I do time out wierd to what other people do it.  I make my children stay in timeout till they are still and quite and then their timer starts.  We also spank but only if they have done something that is dangerous.  I keep it consistent but they still go through these phases.  Just stay consistent and they will calm down. 

My 4 year old is going through a I am going to cry and throw fits but not do time out and he is not listening.  So we are constently dealing with screaming fits that last an hour or more.

 I really like that timeout method!  I am always bugged when they ask questions or stall at the beginning of TO.  I'm going to try that!

[WantedNameTaken]

Reading all this advice about timeout just made me realize that we still use it with our TEENS!  DD15 had to stand in the corner on timeout last month.  LOL! We take away privileges and electronics most of the time, but every now and then, we have to put someone on timeout.  If DH had chosen to send DD to her room, she would have just fallen asleep, so he told her to stand in the corner. If it works, it works! :)

[bluerooffarm]

 Have you tried yoga?  My 4yo can drive me up a wall sometimes.  His Sunday school teacher told me if he was in PS they would already be talking ADHD.  Anyway, we started on some yoga breathing stuff and he has begun to realize when he is pushing it.  He puts himself in Polar Bear when he gets unfocused (yesterday he actually fell asleep there) Or starts to "dragon" breathe when he gets frustrated.  I've seen a lot of improvement in his focus.  Before it seemed like he wasn't listening, but now I realize he just couldn't even focus long enough to hear my instructions.

Quoting Amanda_Jo1209:

That's what I do too. Their time will not start if they are not standing there. Also if they get out their time starts over. Lol idk what I'm doing wrong

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 

Quoting debramommyof4:

 My kids go through phases like this.  I do time out wierd to what other people do it.  I make my children stay in timeout till they are still and quite and then their timer starts.  We also spank but only if they have done something that is dangerous.  I keep it consistent but they still go through these phases.  Just stay consistent and they will calm down. 

My 4 year old is going through a I am going to cry and throw fits but not do time out and he is not listening.  So we are constently dealing with screaming fits that last an hour or more.

 I really like that timeout method!  I am always bugged when they ask questions or stall at the beginning of TO.  I'm going to try that!

 

[Amanda_Jo1209]

I'm going to check it out.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 Have you tried yoga?  My 4yo can drive me up a wall sometimes.  His Sunday school teacher told me if he was in PS they would already be talking ADHD.  Anyway, we started on some yoga breathing stuff and he has begun to realize when he is pushing it.  He puts himself in Polar Bear when he gets unfocused (yesterday he actually fell asleep there) Or starts to "dragon" breathe when he gets frustrated.  I've seen a lot of improvement in his focus.  Before it seemed like he wasn't listening, but now I realize he just couldn't even focus long enough to hear my instructions.

Quoting Amanda_Jo1209:

That's what I do too. Their time will not start if they are not standing there. Also if they get out their time starts over. Lol idk what I'm doing wrong

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 

Quoting debramommyof4:

 My kids go through phases like this.  I do time out wierd to what other people do it.  I make my children stay in timeout till they are still and quite and then their timer starts.  We also spank but only if they have done something that is dangerous.  I keep it consistent but they still go through these phases.  Just stay consistent and they will calm down. 

My 4 year old is going through a I am going to cry and throw fits but not do time out and he is not listening.  So we are constently dealing with screaming fits that last an hour or more.

 I really like that timeout method!  I am always bugged when they ask questions or stall at the beginning of TO.  I'm going to try that!

 

[liliem]

I do this now: 

http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/discipline

and the book The Whole Brain Child. Works wonders and makes you look at yourself as well so you can change. And its been helpiing my somewhat stubborn husband with his tempers. Good luck!!!

[coala]

It is nice to hear another family that does this.  We have a 7 yo that is doing what your 4 yo is doing.  She has had to stand there for 45-60 min at some points.  I WILL NOT tolerate this kind of behavior.

BTW OP just make sure that you are consistent with whatever you decide to do.  It takes a LOT of patience.

Quoting debramommyof4:

 My kids go through phases like this.  I do time out wierd to what other people do it.  I make my children stay in timeout till they are still and quite and then their timer starts.  We also spank but only if they have done something that is dangerous.  I keep it consistent but they still go through these phases.  Just stay consistent and they will calm down. 

My 4 year old is going through a I am going to cry and throw fits but not do time out and he is not listening.  So we are constently dealing with screaming fits that last an hour or more.

[mem82]

There is some good advice in this post. Good luck OP! Those are some hard ages.

[Amanda_Jo1209]

Thank you all ladies.

[Mommynay2]

Hi sorry for what you are going through. My son's behavior was off. I can give you some advice though. Thailee used to wake up like 4 am, so what I did was give him a quiet box. It was filled with things that he can do when he woke up. Now as far as time outs are concerned, if he doesn't go in time out, if he's not being dangerous bring your other child in a room with you, and ignore him. Thailee loved an audience when he would tantrum. I ignored him until he was done. He has a diagnosis, Bipolar disorder, ADHD, and they said before he had a conduct disorder. Now that his behavior changed, they said.he doesn't have it anymore. He still has his moments. Oh and they also gave him a diagnosis of being mildly retarded. I don't know if these will work for you. Don't think that his behavior is your fault, and don't let anyone put you down. Some children can just be headstrong and are hard to calm down just be loving and consistent.

Quoting Amanda_Jo1209:

Thank you so much ladies. I DO stick with punishments. At this present time they have no tv, no toys, nothing. The other day when they woke up, I was sleeping on the couch but was still extremely tired, I told them they could watch cartoons until I was ready to get up. My daughter, the 3 year old, did great!!!! My son on the other hand was throwing the ball in the house and all kinds of stuff.



They enjoy schoolwork but at this point I don't WANT to do anything that they enjoy bc they can't respect me. My son even told my daughter tonight that he wanted to sell me. Ik he's only 4 but that really really hurt me. :'(