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THANK YOU!! (Likely calling CPS)

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 Thank you so much for the comments and support.  I have really needed it.  My sister did a 180 on us yesterday.  He is once again a victim and it's his pain that is the problem, not the fact that he's a... (fill in the blank).  Today she is taking the kids to go and see their dad.  She wanted to take them home tonight but neither of the girls want to go.  My neice told my daughter that the reason her dad is in the hospital is because he got so mad at her mom that he shot himself in the leg.  This is the kind of enviornment they are used to. :*(

My mom has decided to tell her tomorrow morning that she needs to decide if she wants to be a mom or a wife.  Then we'll either help her move or call CPS. My heart hurts so much over this and over what she and the kids are likely going to have to go through.  My DH and I are trying to get the house ready, so we can take them should that be an option.

Thank you again for your help and support!  I'm sorry to bring this drama here, I just didn't know where else to go.

by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:55 PM
Replies (11-15):
Pinkphotography
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:48 PM
Praying for you and your family . You are definitely doing the right thing
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TJandKarasMom
by Debbie on Apr. 9, 2013 at 9:21 PM

I think you are doing the right thing along with your mom, supportive but firm.  You will help her and the kids one way or another and it takes a special person and family unit to do that.

Jinx-Troublex3
by Jinx on Apr. 9, 2013 at 11:14 PM
Please do NOT threaten her with a call to CPS. Tell her,"This is what we can do for you, take it or leave it." If she chooses leave it, make the call.

I say this because if you threaten. She will appear to make the change for a day or two and will revert back to her old habits.
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Pukalani79
by Kristin on Apr. 10, 2013 at 1:10 AM

 She backed me into a corner tonight.  She was talking and was upset with my mom for telling her that my niece had been waiting for her to come get her.  She was supposed to come at 11:30 and didn't show up until 5.  My poor niece - who is barely keeping it together as is - was pretty upset today and I very calmly let her know that.  I told her that her daughters believe that it was because my BIL was upset with her that he shot himself.  And I told her that they are upset.  She goes off on how she can see how it looks but we dont know the whole story.  No we dont, but we dont need to.  What he did is unacceptable.  "Well it's his pain and chemical inbalances and..." It doesn't matter.  Maybe it is all of that, but that does not make it okay.  To which she agreed. I told her that they're talking about the constant fighting and how much that's affecting them.  She responds with "It affects everyone." (yes, but it's your choice, right?)  Long story short I told her that we are very worried about the kids.  We're worried about her and we're worried about them.  If that's wrong, I'm sorry, but we're worried.  She says "It's not wrong to be worried, it's what you do with it that matters."  She says "I'm not leaving, so I don't know what you want me to do."  I told her I didn't have all the answers but that what was going on is not okay.  She told me to think about it from a different perspective - what if it was her in that hospital bed, would we be telling her husband to leave her? I said, if it was the same situation, "Yes, I would." At that she turned and walked out.  Surprisingly she left the kids.  

I don't know what to do.  I looked up what defines emotional abuse as far as the state is concerned and I'm not positive they can do anything.  We'll go down there or call tomorrow probably and get their advice.

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

Please do NOT threaten her with a call to CPS. Tell her,"This is what we can do for you, take it or leave it." If she chooses leave it, make the call.

I say this because if you threaten. She will appear to make the change for a day or two and will revert back to her old habits.

 

lifesadream83
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 9:45 AM

*hugs*

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