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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

Anyone dealt with this scenario?

Posted by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 8:32 PM
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Has anyone been in a situation that you want to homeschool (for whatever reason) but your ex husband (or child's dad) is against it? How have you dealt with it?

My girls dad is against me homeschooling them. He said that he's fine with it if that's what they want to do but he's so hard to read. His main concern was their socialization and extracurricular activities (band) that they "won't have access to" with homeschooling. I admit, at first I was against it for those same reasons too. But I mean, isn't anybody remotely interested in a child's education anymore?! I did try to explain to him the benefits of homeschooling and how they will have as many if not more opportunities for socialization. But that's talking to someone who hardly has anything to do with their kids and who thinks they know everything and doesn't give anyone else an opportunity to speak. (that was a lot of the problem with our marriage and why it failed, he was controlling... But that's for another forum)

Please excuse that, I know it sounded more like a rant and that's not what I'm here to do. I would appreciate anyone's opinion or insight on a situation like this.
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by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 8:32 PM
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celticdragon77
by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 8:41 PM

I am not in that specific situation. My husband and my kids want me to return to homeschooling. I am more reserved about the idea. Our extended family is not encouraging of the idea. 

What I am doing is putting together a plan that addresses all of my concerns. Here are a few things I have done so far - I am getting the kids math and reading skills assessed by an outside (but qualified) source. I have looked into homeschool groups and co-ops. We have art colleges around us that offer youth art classes. Our state allows our kids to join in extracurricular activities at the public schools. 

"live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air..." Emerson 

LadeeBellaDonna
by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 9:38 PM
All of my family are encouraging of the idea... Except him. The girls want to and I've even won over my husband's thoughts about it too. As far as participation in public school activities, my state (tx) doesn't have a law allowing it... It's left up to the school district. So if they say no then I'm just out of luck.
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usmom3
by BJ on Apr. 17, 2013 at 10:03 PM
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Quoting LadeeBellaDonna:

All of my family are encouraging of the idea... Except him. The girls want to and I've even won over my husband's thoughts about it too. As far as participation in public school activities, my state (tx) doesn't have a law allowing it... It's left up to the school district. So if they say no then I'm just out of luck.

 There are homeschool sports groups all over Texas & I know that where I live in West Texas there is a homeschool choir & I thought they started a homeschool band. I know that they where starting a cheerleader squad for next year!

KrissyKC
by Silver Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 11:52 PM
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What is in your custody agreement?   Can you file to have it changed to where since you have primary custody, you get the final say in their schooling?

Then he can either chip in and send the girls to extra curriculars or he can stop whining.


TJandKarasMom
by Debbie on Apr. 18, 2013 at 7:41 AM
My sons father asked to hs him last year, only he wanted his wife to do it. Since our son has no relationship with his stepmom I didn't think it was a good idea. Also, I have custody and wasn't willing to give it up ;). So he is pretty on board with me hsing our son next year.

My daughter is actually my stepdaughter. Her mother has had no contact with her in over a year. My husband has full custody and all decision making in everything including education. So even though we can guess her mom would not like it, she doesn't really get a say in it-which sounds mean but if you've dealt with what I have you would understand my lack of sympathy for this woman.

So while we have to deal with some custody kind of stuff, it's not going to be a deterrent for us. If I were you, I would put together all the info that says hsing is good for your girls and your reasons for wanting to do it. I would get him to agree in writing to try it for a year and see how the girls are doing, this way you are giving him some control in the situation and letting him know you are willing to review it. Keep track of things for the year showing why it was a great year for them and then put it in writing for permanent hsing.

If he says he will agree if the girls want it, then go with that, but have him agree in writing (or email) so he can't go back and say he never agreed. Good luck. I'm trying to get my head on straight to deal with my family and in laws who are going to think this is a bad idea.
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LadeeBellaDonna
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:25 AM

I appreciate all the info! Thank you all so much!

I do understand your lack of sympathy, I also have that lack for my ex. He only has contact with the girls when it's convienent for him. I can count on 1 hand how many times he's actually showed up to pick them up for their visit. He says he "forgets"... or always has some excuse. He never calls me to let me know he can't get them either... he just doens't show, although I have waited there for him every time (with the exception of one or two times, but I let him know).

The thing is, my oldest daughter was in the conversation when he told me that he would agree... so I have a witness!

My husband has the same condition on his court order for his daughter, his ex is putting his daughter in a private school against his choice. I believe that's spite but that's beside the point. Although with my research of homeschooling, I'm trying to help him take a different look at the private school that maybe it'll be a good thing considering all the mess she and her sister (half sister) have to go through at her mother's house. He's all on board with me homeschooling though, even in the future with our son who is only 1. But, back to his daughter, he doesn't really have a say in it because she is the custodial parent, at least that's what our lawyer said.

oredeb
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:33 AM

geee how many exs does this guy have?

well thats besides the point!hahaha so hes agreeing with you about hsing, great find out your law and start!!!

find a hs group and find out about some of the co op stuff, or some little league sports, or other things the town has to offer, go for it!!!! and have fun!

LadeeBellaDonna
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:45 AM

That's what my DH said... go for it! I know there are so many more opportunities for activites it's not just limited to PS activities... but I don't think -he's understanding that. Yes, I've already got my law, curriculum, everything all figured out... I'm just waiting for school to end so I can pull them out of PS (I have half a mind to not wait that long). 

Yes... it's a mess on both mine and DH's sides. Unfortunately! :(

oredeb
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:48 AM

 awwww so sorry ladee, well it sounds like your gona give those kids a great education!

(i have an ex but he never cared or seen the kid so i didnt have any problems hsing)

Quoting LadeeBellaDonna:

That's what my DH said... go for it! I know there are so many more opportunities for activites it's not just limited to PS activities... but I don't think -he's understanding that. Yes, I've already got my law, curriculum, everything all figured out... I'm just waiting for school to end so I can pull them out of PS (I have half a mind to not wait that long). 

Yes... it's a mess on both mine and DH's sides. Unfortunately! :(

 

Pukalani79
by Kristin on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:40 PM

 In our area, homeschoolers are often allowed to participate in extracurriculars at the public schools.  My son will be doing band next year at the elementary school we're zoned for.  That might be an option for you.

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