DD will be attending a public charter school in the fall. This is short-term. You may have seen my previous post about my special needs toddler making HS very difficult in the last year.
I have had the JOY of watching my child develop a love for learning by being allowed to explore her interests. The words 'inspiration' and 'curiosity' come to mind. She still struggles in math but she is such a natural, driven learner. She will sit up for hours reading about whatever has her gears turning. I have watched her ingeniously construct forts with no direction other than telling her where to find the duct tape when she asked. I have watched her devour books that are "out of her reading level" (Hunger Games - she is 9). She has developed this incredibly strong mind. If she has a question, whether it's why we hiccup or what makes flowers colorful, she digs in deep.
Don't get me wrong. She is still a fun loving child who dresses up in nice dresses to sit at the table with her little sister for "tea" in the middle of the day for fun. She still plays with Barbies and other toys.
But her mind... I cannot measure the difference the last year of eclectic/casual/unschoolish learning has made. It baffles me that a child her age can suck up so much information when it is something they themselves decide to do.
To send her to PS is to take away her free will. Her... liberation. Her freedom. She will be squished back into a round peg to go back through the round hole. She will not have someone there to help her through Math. She will pour that brilliant mind into dull, useless worksheets.
I fear she will regress into her former school-hating self. That the curiosity and love for learning will die.
Pity party over. I just had to share this with someone who might understand what I'm going through. Everyone around me keeps basically saying, "Oh, that's a load off!" It's not a "load off." Homeschooling is stressful, yes, but so is having a toddler or a baby. So is college That doesn't mean you want to drop out or dump the baby/toddler off on someone else all day just to make life less stressful.
ETA: The thing that hurts the most is that DD isn't really upset about going back...