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Sometimes I forget my middle daughter is still so young...

Posted by on May. 7, 2013 at 7:35 AM
  • 6 Replies
My oldest daughter will be 8 in July and I remember being very patient,doing lots of fun activities with her, playing, reading,etc.

My middle daughter just turned 4 a few days ago, and I feel like she got the raw end of the deal. Lol. I expect her to act older than she is far too often, we tend to be hard on her because she is a seriously defiant child. And now, with three kids I barely have time to read, play, cuddle, or do fun activities.

I also have a very needy 10 month old. The kind of child who flips out if you even stand up and THINK about going to the opposite side of the room without her.

How did I forget how to parent a 4 year old? How did I forget how to treat them, what they are interested in, what things to play, and what to do in general? I want to be better for her, the outside influences of the older neighbor kids (and sometimes her older sister who also picks things up from the neighbors) makes her life so different from her sisters life at this age. I want to go back, to shelter and protect her. To move far away from these people. Lol! But it isn't their fault, it is mine, and I need to change how I parent her. I need to remember this crazy, beautiful,silly,smart, fun, sassy child is just 4.

How has your parenting changed from your oldest to your youngest?
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by on May. 7, 2013 at 7:35 AM
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Replies (1-6):
Kat0038
by on May. 7, 2013 at 7:42 AM

I have a six year old and a four year old but I treat them very different and do different things with because they are different. From the time my daughter was extremely young she loved being read to. But my four year old son didn't care to read until just recently. My daughter loved playing outside, my son loves to build with blocks. My parenting changed because my kids are very different. 

celticdragon77
by on May. 7, 2013 at 8:07 AM

I think every child and every parenting situation is different. The fact that you are paying attention like this, means you are doing good mama. 

I have a 17girl, 10.5boy, 9girl.

The girls were very self reliant, well behaved, and easy going. The boy was always hyper and in need of supervision.

It has gone through phases over the years. When my son was young, he needed a lot of my attention - but slowly moved away from that. Then my oldest hit preteens and wanted lots of my attention - and has since moved away from that. Now my youngest daughter needs my attention - and I am cherishing beyond belief, because I know it doesn't last... Even when my kids are independent and wanting some distance, I do still try to find ways to try and get some one on one time with them. 

I think easy of my kids at any given age were very much different from each other. I just let them come into their own and try to encourage whatever seems to light them up. Though, one common interest in all my kids, is art!! 

Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air... - Emerson  

Warning: This iPad enjoys auto correcting into jibberish. I have three kids 17, 10.5 and 9 yrs old. This mama works, homeschools, and explores life + varied interests. 

No_Difference
by Silver Member on May. 7, 2013 at 8:51 AM

Up until my daughter turned about 6, she would hole herself up in her room and play on her own. She never really wanted me around. She'll be 9 this summer now. When she was 5 is when I had her brother, which probably has a lot to do with the sudden need for attention lol.
My little guy who is now 4 requires my attention constantly, even when he doesn't want it... Otherwise I might find him on top of the refridgerator getting treats hesn't not supposed to have, or taking all the couch cushions, bringing them into the kitchen, climbing onto the counter, and have every intention of doing flips off of it onto the pillowed floor...
The biggest "problem" I have right now is trying to balance different parenting styles with the two as they are both entering this extreme defiance and uber sassy stage. Neither listen, but its not listening on two different ends of the spectrum. Both need a new mouth, but the sassiness is again, different ends - one is out right rude, the other is quite clever in  the back talking... There are days I feel like my brain will explode trying to jump back and forth between the different needs of the two since they're at such extremes right now lol.

bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on May. 7, 2013 at 8:54 AM

I'm having that problem with my middle boy.  Mine are 8, 6, and 4.  My 6yo either gets treated the same as the 8yo or the 4yo, we really have to stop and think about what HE needs.  And his grandma is much much worse about it.  So when I see how she behaves with them it makes me much more conscious of it,  I am very good for the week or so that follows a visit at remembering that he is not as big as his big brother.  He reminds me himself when I treat him like his little brother, "Mommy, just tell me all at once, I can remember more than Quentin can."  (Ooops!)

Joann.HS
by on May. 7, 2013 at 2:11 PM
1 mom liked this
I read once that the squeaky wheel is often the one that needs the attention...which would make sense for a middle child.

My brother was the middle child and was very smart, although his grades and care free attitude never reflected that. He went on to travel the world and is still just super smart!

My advice is to give her wiggle room and not hinder the person she is destined to be. Embrace her differences.
usmom3
by BJ on May. 7, 2013 at 3:21 PM

Drastically, but there is a 10 & 12 year age difference from the oldest to the other 2! I was 16 when my oldest was born & I parented him the way I was parented because I didn't know to find another way! With my younger 2 I have learned about many different parenting styles & have learned about how a child's brain works & develops so the parenting style we have chosen to do with the younger two is nothing like the way my oldest was parented!

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