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Laziness and taking advantage

Posted by on May. 7, 2013 at 5:35 PM
  • 13 Replies

I think this will end up as 2 questions needing advice. 

First, I feel like I've been by my son's side SO much during his school work that he's become lazy and doesn't want to think if I leave his side.  It's frustrating because I need to be able to work with my younger son, but if I don't sit with the older then he will fiddle around or just put a wrong answer (throwing a fit when he has to be sent back over and over told to think and figure it out).  Anyone deal with this?  We really enjoy homeschooling and have a lot of fun with it, and I guess that's why I'm afraid to come down too hard on him over it because I don't want to take the fun out of it, but I want him to become an independant thinker too. 

Second - my younger son is almost 7 and just learning to read.  I tried many times to start teaching him for the past couple of years but he just wasn't ready.  Now he is and he's picking it up SO fast.  But when I give him something to read, knowing 100% that he KNOWS the words, he will throw fits saying he doesn't know them (while trying to hide his smirk with his hands).  So I left him at the table and told him to read it on his own and when he was ready to read it to me then let me know, otherwise don't get up.  It took a looooong time for him to stop his fit, but eventually he did and read it fine. 

Basically...my 2 have really been sucking the fun out of homeschooling lately lol!!!!  Again, I try to keep it fun.  We are light on the worksheets, heavy on hands on activities, projects, etc, so I hate to start being harsh like this, but I feel like they are becoming lazy and trying to take advantage of the situation.  Any thoughts or has anyone dealt with this? 

by on May. 7, 2013 at 5:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
usmom3
by BJ on May. 7, 2013 at 5:59 PM

 Sounds more to me like they are board & frustrated with you wanting them to do things they know you know they know,just to prove to you once again that they know it,just in case they forgot it within the amount of time that passed sense the  last time that you had them do that work or read that book. I know that probably read very harshly but I am trying to invoke an image in your brain of what it feels like from there point of view. How would you feel if you had a boss that constantly wanted you to prove your intelligence & skill to them every time you turned around? That really is what it feels like to kids & the way you know that is they do things like you described your sons doing. As far as your oldest try to only do hands on stuff no sit down work at all if you can get away with it. For your youngest let him pick out the books he reads & let him read them to himself (you read it too on your own) then you two have a nice chat about the book over a snack in a comfy spot.

mrs.hartman12
by Member on May. 7, 2013 at 6:28 PM

sounds like they need a break! This might be a good week to go on some field trips!

Jlee4249
by Member on May. 8, 2013 at 10:03 AM
1 mom liked this
Make a list for them: "After this, this, and this are done correctly, you're done with school for the day."
They may have more focus when they know it's not a never-ending supply of work to be done and there is an end in sight. If they struggle through a topic (like math), then add extra practice for the next day. If, however, the older doesn't seem to even try, then I would say "you seem to be struggling with this, so you may need more practice, like 2 more pages of...." that may help him to miraculously get things done. But with a list of what needs to be accomplished, your older son may very well fly through it all without you present.
Side note, for your consideration on the 7yo... making them read is never fun for anyone. He may learn to hate reading. My 7 & 4 yo have so many books I'm looking into getting yet another bookshelf. They both can read beyond their "age/grade levels". I still read to them daily for school & for bed. They read on their own everychance they get, without me making or asking them to. My 7yo remembers everything she hears, but only the things she reads IF it interests her.
I still have her do a "reading review" for every novel "we" complete. She adds to her timeline notebook when needed. And I still have her read me an article or two every now and then, but forced reading is so very few and far between, it doesn't even register.

Good luck.
debramommyof4
by Silver Member on May. 8, 2013 at 10:11 AM

 My kids get a prize at the end of the week if they get thier work done by Friday at noon, when our school day comes to an end.  They know their work has to be done corretly and completely.  I do sit with them sometimes,especially if they are getting their answers wrong consistently. 

I have 5 kids I am homeschooling this year, 4 are my own.  Only the oldest 2 are required to do school, but I do work with they younger three children and ensure they are learning something when they want to do school. 

The prizes have really been helping.

 

mem82
by Platinum Member on May. 8, 2013 at 10:12 AM

Sometimes, with my son, I sit down and talk about doing things we don't want to do. I point out that Daddy doesn't want to get up and go to work, but he does so we have a nice home, food, video games, etc. I point out that I don't like cleaning the kitchen every day but I do so we have a healthy place to live, etc. Then I tell him that we all do things in life that we don't want to do but have to do to be successful. I point out that if we didn't work or clean, we would be homeless or live in a house where friends wouldn't want to come over, etc. That usually helps.

bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on May. 8, 2013 at 10:18 AM

 Sounds like the end of the year to me.  PS teachers all over the country are going through this right now.  The weather is turning nice, the countdown has begun, the kids are sick of being stuck inside.  You know what the ps teachers do at this time of year?  This is when they have their feild trips, they have their track and field days, they have their assemblies for fire safety and k-9 rescue dogs, they go on nature hikes, they have a DEAR (drop everything and read) day, they have awards assemblies, they play review games, they write their spelling words on the school sidewalks with chalk, they push all the desks back and have a "party" type activity (sometimes with food from the country they have been studying or they write a process and demonstrate the process to the class), they have spelling and grammar bees,  they play games like scrabble and appleletters.  It's time to get creative until you can take your break!

celticdragon77
by on May. 8, 2013 at 11:19 PM

This is sooo true! You just named off just about everything my kids have mentioned / done in recent weeks or have planned - at public school. 

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 Sounds like the end of the year to me.  PS teachers all over the country are going through this right now.  The weather is turning nice, the countdown has begun, the kids are sick of being stuck inside.  You know what the ps teachers do at this time of year?  This is when they have their feild trips, they have their track and field days, they have their assemblies for fire safety and k-9 rescue dogs, they go on nature hikes, they have a DEAR (drop everything and read) day, they have awards assemblies, they play review games, they write their spelling words on the school sidewalks with chalk, they push all the desks back and have a "party" type activity (sometimes with food from the country they have been studying or they write a process and demonstrate the process to the class), they have spelling and grammar bees,  they play games like scrabble and appleletters.  It's time to get creative until you can take your break!


Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air... - Emerson  

Warning: This iPad enjoys auto correcting into jibberish. I have three kids 17, 10.5 and 9 yrs old. This mama works, homeschools, and explores life + varied interests. 

celticdragon77
by on May. 8, 2013 at 11:19 PM

How old is your older son?

oahoah
by Member on May. 8, 2013 at 11:24 PM

Probably a little boredom. When we get into a rut like this I will find a topic for us to do a unit study on and then we will take a field trip or we'll just switch to something we can all do together (history, science). As for getting them to work more independently, make sure they have the right stuff for their grade/age and on occasion, let them pick their own reading material. I know my boys are more motivated when there is an end in sight; I write down or tell them what has to be done before they get their free time for the day, or what we need to do together before free time.  Sometimes they will drag it out but that is just dragging out their free time too.

bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on May. 9, 2013 at 11:20 AM

 Years of working in the public school system had taught me not to judge the way I feel at the end of the year!  At the beginning of a new year, if I were feeling like I couldn't do it, then I would worry.  Right now everyone is feeling the Blahs!

Quoting celticdragon77:

This is sooo true! You just named off just about everything my kids have mentioned / done in recent weeks or have planned - at public school. 

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 Sounds like the end of the year to me.  PS teachers all over the country are going through this right now.  The weather is turning nice, the countdown has begun, the kids are sick of being stuck inside.  You know what the ps teachers do at this time of year?  This is when they have their feild trips, they have their track and field days, they have their assemblies for fire safety and k-9 rescue dogs, they go on nature hikes, they have a DEAR (drop everything and read) day, they have awards assemblies, they play review games, they write their spelling words on the school sidewalks with chalk, they push all the desks back and have a "party" type activity (sometimes with food from the country they have been studying or they write a process and demonstrate the process to the class), they have spelling and grammar bees,  they play games like scrabble and appleletters.  It's time to get creative until you can take your break!


 

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