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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms
My friend, who homeschools/unschools, and i were having a conversation today about unschooling, particular radical.unschooling. she said that for radical.unschooling they allow the kids to decide everything, from schooling, to eating habits, to sleeping etc. Now, i know for me that we do not use this method. I believe I as their mother, i am responsible for training them, and they shouldnt be handed complete control. I do think choices are important, but also as parents, we have wisdom to.offer them, and thet also have to be considerate of others around them, they cant do what they want whenever they want to. Plus, i refuse to make five different meals because everyone wants something different.

What is your perspective?

Also, to add: i dont think that there is a one size fits all for each family, or even each child. I know many successful unschoolers. One mom was pretty radical in it, whose children started.college during their highschool years. They werr even on the level of being genius. If she hadnt let them learn in that way they may have been very frustrated and may not have excelled as theu have.
by on May. 7, 2013 at 8:56 PM
Replies (21-27):
Precious333
by Silver Member on May. 8, 2013 at 11:34 AM
Thanks for sharing your experience. Very interesting.


Quoting songbird2716:

I think when people here "radical unschooling" they think free for all. And it's really not at all like that. Someone mentioned not wanting to make 5 meals....it doesn't mean giving them everything that they want when they want it. It's about giving them the freedom to choose. At mealtime I'll announce what I'm making. If they are not interested, they can make themselves whatever they are safely capable of preparing on their own (being 4 & 6 this is mostly pb&j, cereal, oatmeal, or toast).



I do not force them to brush teeth or hair (which aren't their favorite things) but I do show them pictures of what happens when you don't take care of your body. They may still protest for a day or two, but in the end they don't want to smell or get things suck in their tangled hair, or have to have oral surgery, so they listen to the suggestion.



After one or two days of trying to stay up all night they realize how cranky they've become and how unhappy the following day was, so they agree that an earlier bedtime is best (some nights that's 8, and some it's 10:30).



The point of radical unschooling (as I interpret it for my family) is to allow the kids to learn the why's of life on their own. I'd rather them understand that certain things are required in order to keep them healthy/safe/happy and not just because mom says so.



Life is the best teacher, so I try not to compete.

Precious333
by Silver Member on May. 8, 2013 at 11:54 AM
I dont think we have only one type of schooling, but child led seems to fit more.with us too rather than unschooling.


Quoting KickButtMama:

I think of the radicals as Anti-Schooling. So, no, it doesn't fly here even though we do child-led learning.


TJandKarasMom
by Debbie on May. 8, 2013 at 12:08 PM
I want to hear more too! We plan to unschool but with guidance. I am pretty controlling but I am learning to let go a lot more, I have to keep reminding DH to let go more too ;)

Unschooling for us will be they get to help pick what they learn, but will still have to learn math facts and how to write a paper. They won't have to sit at the table or do all their work at certain times, but they will need to do stuff each day. I will have some lessons and other things will just be natural learning.

I plan to be open to anything, and to try to be flexible and just relax...I will try to always remember that I'm doing it FOR my kids, so to pay attention to their needs, and to enjoy them while they are still kind of young.


Quoting usmom3:

 Well it has been a long process & is still in the fine tuning stage. We where tired of fighting with the kids all the time over everything & the more I thought about it the more silly it seamed that we where unschooling & giving them freedom with what they learned & how they learned it yet controlled every other aspect of their lives. I hated being an authoritarian parent & constantly punishing my kids for being kids (being loud & not wanting to sit still & other things that kids do that drive most parents crazy). I started learning about peaceful parenting on Facebook groups & from websites (I can share the links to some if you are interested in them) I talked to my hubby about it (he was not on board at first he just thought we needed to be tougher on them). It really was easy to stop the rules, I just stopped enforcing the ones that we decided where not worth the fight (a tip I learned a little late with this is don't tell the kids you no longer have the rules just stop enforcing them & they will get the idea after a time). Some rules we had with our oldest where never set in place for our younger 2 (there is a 10 & 12 year age difference & we have changed a lot as parents in that time). One of those rules is making them eat all there food or even eating what we eat (they have options that they can chose to eat instead of what  was cooked but I will not cook 5 different meals so if they don't like what is cooked or the alternatives they have to be the ones to make their meal as much as they can on their own, so if my 7y/o wants a grilled cheese sandwich he has to get all the stuff out for it to be made & then we help him cook it). If you would like to know more I will have to come back & post more later.


Quoting ceckyl:

If you don't mind sharing, I'm really interested in how you have done away with a lot of rules. I need to learn to relinquish control ecause what I'm doing isn't working well for my family :(. I'm very type a.



Quoting usmom3:


 We don't fall in the category of "radical" unschoolers but we are unschoolers that have very few rules. We haven't always been that way we used to have so many rules that I think the kids where afraid to breath sometimes for fear of breaking a rule. We have learned that the more power the kids have over their lives the morethey are willing to work with us instead of against us. Our house is a lot more peaceful now that we have done this change, as well as doing away with punishment & being more on top of needs getting meet!



 


katinahat
by Member on May. 8, 2013 at 5:09 PM

We will most likely be an ecclectic homeschooling household. There will be a traditional curriculum that will take up a portion of our day, then the rest of the day with be "unschooling", where she'll be able to choose what she's interested in and we'll do activities, projects, and research corresponding to it.

____________________________________________________________

Christian, vaccinating, fun-loving, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, positive disciplining, nerdy, extended rear-facing, bookworm, creative, homeschooling, outdoorsy, autodidactic, friendly family.

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." -- Mother Teresa

http://merrrfamily.blogspot.com/

usmom3
by BJ on May. 8, 2013 at 5:45 PM
2 moms liked this

 Here is my post about it!

CLICK ME I AM THE LINK

Quoting TJandKarasMom:

I want to hear more too! We plan to unschool but with guidance. I am pretty controlling but I am learning to let go a lot more, I have to keep reminding DH to let go more too ;)

Unschooling for us will be they get to help pick what they learn, but will still have to learn math facts and how to write a paper. They won't have to sit at the table or do all their work at certain times, but they will need to do stuff each day. I will have some lessons and other things will just be natural learning.

I plan to be open to anything, and to try to be flexible and just relax...I will try to always remember that I'm doing it FOR my kids, so to pay attention to their needs, and to enjoy them while they are still kind of young.


sdgd21
by on May. 8, 2013 at 9:04 PM
No, no for us. I believe children have to be taught, and guided In decisions, we do, however allow the children to help us pick curriculum and reading books ect. That's important IMO. Although the idea of unschooling sound kinda of cool to me with the right family and kid, our family is not that family. Lol
Precious333
by Silver Member on May. 8, 2013 at 9:06 PM
1 mom liked this
Same here.


Quoting sdgd21:

No, no for us. I believe children have to be taught, and guided In decisions, we do, however allow the children to help us pick curriculum and reading books ect. That's important IMO. Although the idea of unschooling sound kinda of cool to me with the right family and kid, our family is not that family. Lol

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