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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

Socializing and Other Reasons To Not Homeschool

Posted by on May. 22, 2013 at 7:57 AM
  • 38 Replies

My daughter is 3 and we are heavily considering homeschooling.  Then I hear it from all over the place, it seems. 

"Your child needs to be socialized."  What does that even mean?  I hear it all the time!  Is there a chart of comparison that will tell me that my kid can't communicate to other kids as well school kids do?  Has anyone experienced their child not being as well versed in "socilization?"  Should I really send a kid to school with the hopes that the school will teach her how to speak politely and sweetly?  I don't know how to counter this accusation.

"Pre School and Head Start have shown that they really give kids an advanced start."  How can I match that when I have no studies showing that I can give my kid an equally good head start!?  Is teaching my kid to sit in a circle on a carpet a real "advanced start" or is there more to PreK than learning to stand in line?

"It's so hard to do."  I've heard that if you teach your kids to educate themselves and love learning (not to make that sound easy) that it's really no more challenging than what I do daily as a SAHM, just different.  Can anyone back me on that?

Any input and your counter reasons to these oh-so-common complaints I hear would be so awesome!




Could I pack up you ladies and travel with me!  I do feel very encouraged by your responses.  I'm also glad that everyone else seems to have met this "Challenge" and overcome it.  Thank you all for so much support and encouragement against the naysayers.


by on May. 22, 2013 at 7:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mamamedic69
by Deanna on May. 22, 2013 at 8:33 AM
I have a 4 year old and I have been "unofficially" home schooling her. We joined a great homeschool group and even with her anxiety issues she is doing well.

I get so tired of hearing people tell me that she needs to "socialize." If you think about it and I have used this, how much socialization to they really get in PS? If they are in class, they are learning and not socializing. They socialize during their 20-30 minute lunch!!! Homeschooling they socialize much more than that.

all2gethernow
by Member on May. 22, 2013 at 8:41 AM
4 moms liked this
Jeez! I have 4 teens who have never been to school. One graduates next week:)
Believe me, I have heard it all!!!
When they were small, I heard, "what about prom???!" Yeah, I guess we'll change our educational plans for a 3 hour dance...!
Well, my dd went to prom with her friends from a local school last week. Said it was "lame" lol.
As for the socializing...they seriously got/get their fill. We've had drama, drugs, cutting, run aways...just with neighbor friends. I can't even imagine having MORE of that if they were actually IN school all day.
They haven't missed a thing. Not a thing. I kept them from very little in the end. It just happened anyway.
My kids are normal. Too much socialization if you ask me:/!
My mom always said," school is for learning, not socializing." So, yeah...
bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on May. 22, 2013 at 10:26 AM
4 moms liked this

 Have you looked up the dictionary definition of "socialize? Here it is:

so·cial·ize(ssh-lz)

v. so·cial·ized, so·cial·iz·ing, so·cial·iz·es
v.tr.
1. To place under government or group ownership or control.
2. To make fit for companionship with others; make sociable.
3. To convert or adapt to the needs of society

Does that sound like something you want for your child?  It certainly isn't anything I want.

As for the "Preshool and Headstart" one, I would ask to the see the study.  Most studies have shown that all that "advancement" is GONE by 2nd grade.  The kids who were showing "advanced skills" in Kindergarten are testing right along within their peer group by their 2nd and 3rd grade acheivement tests.  They are also showing signs of "school burnout" by grades 4 and 5 instead of the counterparts who do not show burnout until Middle school.  Then ask yourselves if kids should "burn out" at all! 

Last, It is hard.  The best things in life are hard....communication, marrieage, friendships.  These things take work.  But the rewards far outstrip the hardships.  The relationship I have built with my children while they are fresh and happy far outweighs the time I spend in planning and teaching them.

oredeb
by on May. 22, 2013 at 10:51 AM
1 mom liked this

 hi wildpower,

ive homeschooled my kids all the way through school, they've never been to a public or private or any kind of school and they were plenty socialized(my way)! they can talk and get along with any age group, even be polite,  they even have good jobs! there bosses love them,   and they didnt need the school to teach them how. public school socialization is crud,  ive not seen learning socialization from the public schools doing any good.  and the definition of socialization that blue posted , why would we want that for our kids? hahaha what a joke! no thank you!

preschool, headstart- ive no idea what they teach in those classes, but you can better teach your kids,  you can start them when they are ready, not force education on them, teach them what you want them to learn, instill what you want in them, guide them, and its so fun teaching them! i love it!

homeschooling isnt easy to do, you gotta want to do it, dedicated to it, its gona become a way of life for you and your family, part of your everyday life, kids are always learning(so are we) everyday no matter what situation they are in, always learning, homeschooling brings you close to your kids, doesnt separate you , its such a joy to see the kids learning, and when they first start reading! wow!! you can say you taught your child to read! something that will be with them forever, you can instill in them things you want no what some gov. school wants you to!

JasonsMom2007
by Member on May. 22, 2013 at 10:55 AM
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I used to teach in headstart.  yeah I can do better at home!

WildPowerMom
by New Member on May. 22, 2013 at 11:29 AM
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I need to memorize that definition!  Or maybe tattoo it to my arm.  You are just full of great information.  You are very reassuring.  I'm thinking this mysterious socializing barrier I keep hearing about is just an idiotic defense for public school.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 Have you looked up the dictionary definition of "socialize? Here it is:

so·cial·ize(ssh-lz)

v. so·cial·ized, so·cial·iz·ing, so·cial·iz·es
v.tr.
1. To place under government or group ownership or control.
2. To make fit for companionship with others; make sociable.
3. To convert or adapt to the needs of society



WildPowerMom
by New Member on May. 22, 2013 at 11:31 AM


Would you mind humoring me and elaborating?  I'd LOVE to hear your experiences.

Quoting JasonsMom2007:

I used to teach in headstart.  yeah I can do better at home!



JasonsMom2007
by Member on May. 22, 2013 at 12:34 PM

I worked there for a very short time.  They were the worst behaved kids! I was actually in 3 of them and they were all bad.  Teachers weren't allowed to say "stop" "no" or anything with a negative word behind it.  There was no discipline.  I saw a kid push another kid from the top of the play structure and all we were allowed to do was say "that's not a good choice" because anything else might hurt the child self-esteem.  Are you kidding me?

The teaching moments during the day were optional.  There were a couple of circle times the kids had to sit down for but they were just reading a book and doing flouride treatments.  Maybe a song or two.  Nothing big.  The crafts and other activities were all optional.  Most kids couldn't even write their names.

But I think it makes a huge difference that most of the parents just didn't care either. They would leave their kids there until the very last minute then snap at them to get in the car not even caring about their day.

The private preschool I worked in was better at least.  The parents cared and the kids were at least highly encouraged to do the activities.  All of the 4 year olds left there able to write all of the letters, their names, and knew all of the letter sounds.  They knew how to count.  They knew their colors.  So it was an improvement but still not anything I can't do at home.


Quoting WildPowerMom:


Would you mind humoring me and elaborating?  I'd LOVE to hear your experiences.

Quoting JasonsMom2007:

I used to teach in headstart.  yeah I can do better at home!






Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is pure love.  ~Mildred B. Vermont
bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on May. 22, 2013 at 12:52 PM

 It is absolutely just an idiotic defense for Public School.  I've had conversations where I expain all of the ways we "socialize" our boys (soccer, youth group, music lessons, camp, art lessons) and they continue to say, "but aren't you afraid they are not getting enough socialization?"  Some people IMO don't really know what socialization is, they just "know" that you get it at ps.  Remember that "school is for learning, not socializing." I had a few teachers that told us that all the time.

Quoting WildPowerMom:

 

I need to memorize that definition!  Or maybe tattoo it to my arm.  You are just full of great information.  You are very reassuring.  I'm thinking this mysterious socializing barrier I keep hearing about is just an idiotic defense for public school.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 Have you looked up the dictionary definition of "socialize? Here it is:

so·cial·ize(ssh-lz)

v. so·cial·ized, so·cial·iz·ing, so·cial·iz·es
v.tr.
1. To place under government or group ownership or control.
2. To make fit for companionship with others; make sociable.
3. To convert or adapt to the needs of society

 

 

 

mrs.hartman12
by Member on May. 22, 2013 at 12:55 PM

Well my 4 yo has almost had a sahp and has zero issues so far with being social. Zero stranger danger and she calls every kid she sees friend.

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