Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

Socializing and Other Reasons To Not Homeschool

Posted by   + Show Post

My daughter is 3 and we are heavily considering homeschooling.  Then I hear it from all over the place, it seems. 

"Your child needs to be socialized."  What does that even mean?  I hear it all the time!  Is there a chart of comparison that will tell me that my kid can't communicate to other kids as well school kids do?  Has anyone experienced their child not being as well versed in "socilization?"  Should I really send a kid to school with the hopes that the school will teach her how to speak politely and sweetly?  I don't know how to counter this accusation.

"Pre School and Head Start have shown that they really give kids an advanced start."  How can I match that when I have no studies showing that I can give my kid an equally good head start!?  Is teaching my kid to sit in a circle on a carpet a real "advanced start" or is there more to PreK than learning to stand in line?

"It's so hard to do."  I've heard that if you teach your kids to educate themselves and love learning (not to make that sound easy) that it's really no more challenging than what I do daily as a SAHM, just different.  Can anyone back me on that?

Any input and your counter reasons to these oh-so-common complaints I hear would be so awesome!




Could I pack up you ladies and travel with me!  I do feel very encouraged by your responses.  I'm also glad that everyone else seems to have met this "Challenge" and overcome it.  Thank you all for so much support and encouragement against the naysayers.


by on May. 22, 2013 at 7:57 AM
Replies (11-20):
almondpigeon
by on May. 22, 2013 at 1:13 PM
3 moms liked this

i always point out that sitting in a classroom with 20 other kids the exact same age isn't exactly "socializing".  asking permission to talk or use the restroom doesn't teach proper social skills.  current classroom methods doesn't prepare anyone for "real life".  it only teaches kids to be quiet and sit still. 

Dawn07
by Bronze Member on May. 22, 2013 at 3:10 PM
It is an idiotic defense for public school lol.

Quoting WildPowerMom:


I need to memorize that definition!  Or maybe tattoo it to my arm.  You are just full of great information.  You are very reassuring.  I'm thinking this mysterious socializing barrier I keep hearing about is just an idiotic defense for public school.


Quoting bluerooffarm:

 Have you looked up the dictionary definition of "socialize? Here it is:


so·cial·ize(ssh-lz)


v. so·cial·ized, so·cial·iz·ing, so·cial·iz·es

v.tr.
1. To place under government or group ownership or control.

2. To make fit for companionship with others; make sociable.

3. To convert or adapt to the needs of society




usmom3
by BJ on May. 22, 2013 at 3:16 PM
2 moms liked this

 I don't think it could be put better then what Blue said.

 The people that are saying this stuff to you have been well trained by their own time in the system. I have learned that the ones that protest homeschooling the most are doing it in defence of their own experience, to accept anyone homeschooling they think that they have to admit that there is something wrong with the system & to do that they must admit that they might have been damaged by that experience. There is a large part of society that dose not want to think of themselves as damaged so they protest to protect their fragile egos. I hope that all made sense.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 Have you looked up the dictionary definition of "socialize? Here it is:

so·cial·ize(ssh-lz)

v. so·cial·ized, so·cial·iz·ing, so·cial·iz·es
v.tr.
1. To place under government or group ownership or control.
2. To make fit for companionship with others; make sociable.
3. To convert or adapt to the needs of society

Does that sound like something you want for your child?  It certainly isn't anything I want.

As for the "Preshool and Headstart" one, I would ask to the see the study.  Most studies have shown that all that "advancement" is GONE by 2nd grade.  The kids who were showing "advanced skills" in Kindergarten are testing right along within their peer group by their 2nd and 3rd grade acheivement tests.  They are also showing signs of "school burnout" by grades 4 and 5 instead of the counterparts who do not show burnout until Middle school.  Then ask yourselves if kids should "burn out" at all! 

Last, It is hard.  The best things in life are hard....communication, marrieage, friendships.  These things take work.  But the rewards far outstrip the hardships.  The relationship I have built with my children while they are fresh and happy far outweighs the time I spend in planning and teaching them.

 

Rust.n.Gears
by on May. 22, 2013 at 3:24 PM
2 moms liked this
A big problem with homeschooling is too many options for socializing. You can have so much it is over whelming and you need to limit it. Teaching is not hard either. You are your childs first teacher after all. You taught them to walk, talk, eat, potty train. The rest is easy. You get a book and read, help them with workbooks, use internet for games, show them movies and shows aboutall sorts of stuff, go to museums, zoos, aquariums ... You go step by step and breathe. It will become amazing.
ColtsFan1912
by Bekah on May. 22, 2013 at 3:26 PM
1 mom liked this

Eh one doesn't have to go to school to be socialized.  There are sports, co-ops, clubs and all kinds of things. Things like 4h and such My son plays tball & he wants to play football when he's old enough (actually he's old enough but doesn't way enough for the league around here hehe). 

Dawn07
by Bronze Member on May. 22, 2013 at 3:39 PM
I agree with what the other ladies have said. Socialization isn't really an issue.
You can do way more than a head start program. My daughter went to one for two years and although the first year was good, I could have done way better myself for the second year.
I don't see teaching my children any more difficult than anything else I have taught them. Especially with all the help out there. Yes, we have days where we drive each other batty, but that would happen anyway lol.
Ps. In regards to socialization, I was homeschooled and didn't have access to many activities, yet I think I came out okay ;)
lil_mama06
by Debbie on May. 22, 2013 at 4:32 PM
I've heard it all too. Just join a homeschool group if there's one in your area. I loved ours, there's all different ages and they play together..The older kids would push the younger ones on the swings. Then if the older kids played basketball, it wasn't long before the younger ones were invited to join in. We have library days, where we go to the library and listen to a story and do arts and crafts pertaining to the story. The girls have gone to tea party's. Out of 6 daughter's only 3 really wanted to be homeschooled. I do give my children a choice..When dd #1 was in 5th grade she was diagnosed with having "school phobia"..And the principal and teacher and psychologist said I should look into homeschooling. Before then I never had heard of homeschooling and I was afraid. Heck I still am afraid at times, but I have learned to trust my kids and myself. Dd #2 graduated high school last year and dd's #3 and #4 go to public school and they are happy. But they also know IF they don't do well in school I will pull them out. Dd#5 wants to be homeschooled. I did try to get her into a reading program at school for reading..They tried talking her into staying all day, so she didn't want to go anymore..She's getting better with her reading now..Dd #6 wanted to go to Kinder at the "big" school. So I enrolled her and she lasted 1 week. When she cried and ran in front of a bus and a van and almost got hit, that was the day I pulled her..And at times homeschool has it's challenges. Some days I don't want to school, others my kids don't want to school. That is why I have decided to start a year round school. So many weeks on a couple off..That way we all can recharge. At least that's how it is for me. With all the websites around that teaches the Pre K set you can give your kids the best start..I mean you taught your child how to walk,potty training and talk..Why can't you teach them how to write their name and their ABC's and Number's and colors and shapes and some words..My husband thought I wasn't doing a great job and he was like Put them all in school..So I did, and Andie our 4th daughter I KNEW she was totally behind I messed her up..I had a conference with her teacher explaining the "gaps" in her learning..Little stinker proved me wrong. Two weeks went by and the teacher requested a conference with my husband and I..She said "I don't know WHY you think Andie has gaps. She reads well and is ahead in her math"..Her writing wasn't so hot, but she improved rather quickly. So now my husband trusts my way of educating. Sorry for being all over the place. The bottom line is you have to do what you feel is BEST for your family. There will be ups and downs for sure, but the end result is worth it..Good Luck..
mamamedic69
by Deanna on May. 22, 2013 at 6:13 PM
1 mom liked this
I have remember this definition so I can use it for all the naysayers.

Thank you :)


Quoting bluerooffarm:

 Have you looked up the dictionary definition of "socialize? Here it is:


so·cial·ize(ssh-lz)


v. so·cial·ized, so·cial·iz·ing, so·cial·iz·es

v.tr.
1. To place under government or group ownership or control.

2. To make fit for companionship with others; make sociable.

3. To convert or adapt to the needs of society

Does that sound like something you want for your child?  It certainly isn't anything I want.


As for the "Preshool and Headstart" one, I would ask to the see the study.  Most studies have shown that all that "advancement" is GONE by 2nd grade.  The kids who were showing "advanced skills" in Kindergarten are testing right along within their peer group by their 2nd and 3rd grade acheivement tests.  They are also showing signs of "school burnout" by grades 4 and 5 instead of the counterparts who do not show burnout until Middle school.  Then ask yourselves if kids should "burn out" at all! 


Last, It is hard.  The best things in life are hard....communication, marrieage, friendships.  These things take work.  But the rewards far outstrip the hardships.  The relationship I have built with my children while they are fresh and happy far outweighs the time I spend in planning and teaching them.

LadeeBellaDonna
by on May. 23, 2013 at 1:00 AM

Ok... I have to brag on my Head Start girl! I got lucky, Head Start has been good for my DD. We were watching a trivia show the other day and a lady was asked how many corners an octagon has... she totally answered wrong... so my DD walked in just at the right time and I asked her how many sides an octagon has and without skipping a beat she answered 8. And she said "That's because I know my shapes Mommy!" She learned that in Head Start (among many other things), but I credit that to the teacher... she does have a good teacher which are very few anymore these days. The advance they could get from Head Start only lasts through the first couple years... if that. She's looking forward to Homeschool Kindergarten next year though!

I hear the socialization thing all the time too... my kids don't have a bit of a problem making friends and talking to people... they've had that skill since they started talking! I don't think that's going to be a problem in the future! I also feel like school is for learning and not socializing... we have plenty of opportunities for socializing.

The one thing that I tell my kids is that nothing comes easy in life. HSing may or may not be easy but it's going to benefit and we need to give it all we've got. We're gonna have good days and we're gonna have major bad days... we can do it though!

(I'm half tired too so I hope my post made a little sense :P )

lucsch
by on May. 23, 2013 at 10:32 AM
2 moms liked this

My personal experience with homeschooling my youngest from the beginning, versus having other children in public school, have debunked these  myths. LOL

My boys went to a private Christian school from K4. I homechooled my boys one year in 4th and 6th grades. I just finished my dd's 4th grade year. I see her as being leaps and bounds in thinking skills above my youngest son when I homeschooled him in the same grade.

There is no substitute for constant one-on-one tutoring!

As far as socializing, I wish you could meet my daughter. She may be a bit more naive than some her age, but she is friendly, outgoing, and loves to meet new people--of all ages! She has a best friend, who goes to a private school. They talk or Skpe nearly every day and have sleepovers. She has other friends from co-op and church. When she has a birthday party, she has just as many kids attending as her brothers ever did.

Homeschooling is not the same as isolating your kid! We get out and meet people! She is in dance, church and co-op.

Homeschooling can be like a job, but it isn't so hard to do as it requires dedication. If you start in preschool, you really just grow into it. Preschool is easy. It gets more involved and harder as they get older. Eventually, they do a lot of it on their own and become very independent in their studies. IMO, that makes a better scholar--one who does not need the information spoon-fed to them.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)