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Socializing and Other Reasons To Not Homeschool

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My daughter is 3 and we are heavily considering homeschooling.  Then I hear it from all over the place, it seems. 

"Your child needs to be socialized."  What does that even mean?  I hear it all the time!  Is there a chart of comparison that will tell me that my kid can't communicate to other kids as well school kids do?  Has anyone experienced their child not being as well versed in "socilization?"  Should I really send a kid to school with the hopes that the school will teach her how to speak politely and sweetly?  I don't know how to counter this accusation.

"Pre School and Head Start have shown that they really give kids an advanced start."  How can I match that when I have no studies showing that I can give my kid an equally good head start!?  Is teaching my kid to sit in a circle on a carpet a real "advanced start" or is there more to PreK than learning to stand in line?

"It's so hard to do."  I've heard that if you teach your kids to educate themselves and love learning (not to make that sound easy) that it's really no more challenging than what I do daily as a SAHM, just different.  Can anyone back me on that?

Any input and your counter reasons to these oh-so-common complaints I hear would be so awesome!

Could I pack up you ladies and travel with me!  I do feel very encouraged by your responses.  I'm also glad that everyone else seems to have met this "Challenge" and overcome it.  Thank you all for so much support and encouragement against the naysayers.

by on May. 22, 2013 at 7:57 AM
Replies (31-38):
by on May. 24, 2013 at 2:18 PM
I used to teach HeadStart, also. From what I learned in the "training" we recieved about the history of the program, giving the children a good start for their education was not the primary reason it was implemented. They started it to help with the nutrition and hygiene of poverty stricken children. So if you feed your kids and keep them clean (especially teeth brushed), you are doing what Head Start was started to do. As for preschool, that was started because more families needed someone to care for their children while both (or the only) parents worked. Implementing educational standards is a way of ensuring that the caregivers are interacting and engaging the child, not just being in the same room, while at the same time benefiting the child. As for socializing (and by socializing, I mean what the naysayers mean: interacting with other children), you want your children to be educated, that's the purpose of school, social activities can come more effectively outside of school. My children did attend public school, and I think there was way too much socializing (especially among the teachers, to the point of ignoring the children). But I have used the dictionary definition of "socilization" to render my brother (my biggest critic) speechless. He still hasn't found a comeback, and has stopped bothering me about homeschooling my kids ;)
Quoting JasonsMom2007:

I used to teach in headstart.  yeah I can do better at home!

by Platinum Member on May. 24, 2013 at 2:28 PM
1 mom liked this

Blue here said it better than I could! LOL

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 Have you looked up the dictionary definition of "socialize? Here it is:


v. so·cial·ized, so·cial·iz·ing, so·cial·iz·es
1. To place under government or group ownership or control.
2. To make fit for companionship with others; make sociable.
3. To convert or adapt to the needs of society

Does that sound like something you want for your child?  It certainly isn't anything I want.

As for the "Preshool and Headstart" one, I would ask to the see the study.  Most studies have shown that all that "advancement" is GONE by 2nd grade.  The kids who were showing "advanced skills" in Kindergarten are testing right along within their peer group by their 2nd and 3rd grade acheivement tests.  They are also showing signs of "school burnout" by grades 4 and 5 instead of the counterparts who do not show burnout until Middle school.  Then ask yourselves if kids should "burn out" at all! 

Last, It is hard.  The best things in life are hard....communication, marrieage, friendships.  These things take work.  But the rewards far outstrip the hardships.  The relationship I have built with my children while they are fresh and happy far outweighs the time I spend in planning and teaching them.

by on May. 24, 2013 at 2:30 PM
2 moms liked this

 "Forced association is NOT socialization"

 When we first started homeschooling DD, 3 1/2 years ago that is all we heard. "She will never socialize", "we think your wrong", "you don't have a teaching degree, how can you teach her?", etc. etc. etc. The first year was the hardest. Trying to convince others that I could do this, and it was best for us. It never happened. I still have people who will tell me openly they disagree with homeschooling. It took me a long time to realize....they simply don't matter. Their opinions may hurt, it may have ended what I thought were good friendships, but in the end...they don't matter. DH and I know what's best for our children. I can see what homeschooling has allowed us to do, and I can see how well it is working for us.

My DD is now 7 1/2 and will be starting third grade in June, and reads on a fifth grade level. DS is 4 and starting kindergarten in June. There are many times I kinda wish my kids were LESS social,lol. We go to co-op once a week, play dates, meet ups, clubs, sports, camps, etc. Yeah, right now it is more work on my part(arranging these things, driving, signing up....) but it is so worth it. The kids are able to work at their own pace and learn in a way that suits them, not the state. I see what other kids my DD's age(7) are into and doing in public school and I cringe. Just a few months ago a CHILD was arrested for pushing drugs. Two more were expelled for having oral sex in the 7 & 8 years old!!!!!!! I am very happy to say my children have no interest in sex and do not even know what it is.

Ignore those who will put you down and attack you for your choice. You know what's best for your children. Homeschooling has opened so many doors for us, and I look forward to the future. We plan to homeschool through high school.

by Platinum Member on May. 24, 2013 at 2:34 PM
1 mom liked this

Also, maybe you should come up with some of your own questions for the askers. Things like:

1. Public school kids are more likely to have sex at a younger age. Aren't you scared your daughter will get knocked up? (We know that parenting and supervision have more to do with that than school, but if they get to ask questions about our lack of socialization, shouldn't we get to ask about TOO much socialization?)

2. Less than 5% of homeschoolers drop out of HS before finishing- How do they plan to keep their kids in school with all the studies on the drop out rates in PS? ( LOLOLOL)

3. Are you too lazy to parent your kid? (No, not fair, but again, the flip side to 'it's too hard' would be 'Isn't your kid worth the effort of the very best you can give?' )

by on May. 24, 2013 at 5:09 PM
1 mom liked this


I think you already have your answers!!  Everything YOU said is true and right.. . Those are legimate answers.  I am living, what you see happening. 

1. Our girls are well behaved and aren't afraid to talk to anyone. 

2.I don't want my kids to be taught to sit still.. they have plenty of time for that later.  We stand in lines at walmart... check, we can stand in a line! 

3. I get out the girls lessons and they sit down, read the directions and do their work.  I watch for understanding and accuracy.  They let me know when something doesn't make sense.

Trust yourself, you've got this!

by on May. 24, 2013 at 5:35 PM

I counter the socialization argument by telling them the places that my children go to socialize (the YMCA, church, the park, and other kids programs)...oh and my son was nearly expelled because schools don't teach socialization unless you are in special ed (step child who had been neglected by bio mom and had no social skills) and he was difficult because he couldn't socialize.

Certainly you can teach your child everything head start does...other than "circle time" and standing in line and guess what she learns to stand in line every time that she sees you doing it when you go get fast food, go to the bank or grocery a matter of fact she may end up ahead of her age mates! Many homeschool kids can be/are finished with senior level work in their early to mid teens instead of their late teens like kids in traditional schools AND you will be able to include art, music, religion, feild trips and/or a foreign language with the right resources which most public schools can no longer afford to do or they lose funding for "wasting class time that could be better spent on core subjects" disregarding that studies have proven that children who participate in any or all of those are more grounded and preform better overall than students who do not get them.

And it is hard regardless...but if you are organized and have a set study area (even if it is the kitchen table) then it is not impossibe because you will have the stuff that you need available and your child will learn that when certain items are together (for example television  and radio off and school supplies out) it is time to learn. There is also the option of an online school that will provide you with the materials and teacher support while you teach your child...if you want more info on that pm me.

by on May. 25, 2013 at 12:00 PM

Socializing can be handled in many ways! Church, 4-h, play dates with friends, go to the park, and martial arts to name a few. At school you never know who or what they are with so not a good point in their favor. We taught our children to read, write, and then found out what they were interested in and helped them learn about those things. I now have 2 doctors and 1 computer expert for children. Is is hard, can be, or it can be a lot of fun. That is totally up to you. Find ways to encourage your child to try new things. Good luck!

by on May. 25, 2013 at 3:53 PM
The funny thing is teachers always tell the kids school is for learning not socialization! Recess has almost beencompletely taken away most schools play loud classical music at lunch and kids arent allowed to talk, so what socialization are they getting at school anyway???
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