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OT.... babysitting drama

Posted by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 7:31 AM
  • 9 Replies
This is kinda off topic but I really need some help. I started babysitting my neighbor/friends kids. The boy is 9 and is no problem. The girl is almost a year and she's making my life a living hell. I'm getting worried about the upcoming school year.

This little girl will not sleep unless she's held. She screams if someone is not sitting on the floor so she can sit in your lap to play. If I run to the bathroom, she is beating on the door before I've even had a chance to sit down. She has a fit if my youngest comes to sit with me. If I do get her to sleep, she wakes up as soon as I lie her down and screams until someone holds her.

Because my husband and I are friends with the parents it makes this even harder. They have frequently (about 2x a week) left their kids here until 7:30 at night to rack up some overtime. Then, I've cut my rate because they told me they are going through extreme financial stress. Right after that, they go and finance a new fence and bought a new truck. That alone makes me feel like a schmuck.

Now, heres the scary part. what is school going to be like this year if I keep this little girl? Our curriculum is a lot more hands on, we have lots of field trips to take and projects to do. and I want to start preschooling my 3 y/o. If I can't even pee by myself, how am I supposed to teach my children?

I guess I've pretty much made up my mind that this won't work for my family. Thanks for bearing with my rant. Now I have to figure out how to tell the parents I can't do this any more. Any suggestions? Like I said earlier, these people are our friends so I dont want to b cruel or leave them high and dry. But I can't keep sacrificing time with my children to care for such a high demand infant.

Thoughts, opinions, suggestions?
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 7:31 AM
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Replies (1-9):
bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 8:13 AM
1 mom liked this

 Okay I'm going to be blunt and I am very sorry, if I offend you just ignore me okay?

These people are not you friends.  If they have financial stress about someone watching their precious children then they have no business with luxuries like fences and trucks unless it is part of a farming livelihood.  But I assume they are not farming because typically one does not have a babysitter when one farms.

Your last paragraph sums it up, you cannot and should not sacrifice your children (and their education) for another. 

I would give them notice.  I would blame it all on school.  Then I would decide a few things....Are you willing to watch them "after school" say pick them up at the new babysitter and keep them for the overtime days?  It may soften the  blow, but is it okay to tie yourself down?  Is it that you need the money?  Are you going to be able to find other kids to watch?  If you find other kids to watch, that would be a problem as well because they will know that it is THEIR kid that is a problem during school hours. I would say, "my school year is starting on _______ date.  I will be unable to watch the kids after that point, so you are going to have to find someone else to watch them." 

BUT I do not need to babysit to make money, so it's easy for me to say those things.

Bleacheddecay
by Bronze Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 8:29 AM

I agree with the above poster.

OTOH, if you do need the money, I will say that the older the child gets (with YOUR guidance) the easier she should be to keep.

shamrock_momma
by Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 8:43 AM
1 mom liked this
Thank you both. I think I will tell them I can only keep this up til school starts and then I have to be done. I don't even mind watching the kids on occasion, but this is getting ridiculous. And no, I don't do it for the money. I'm blessed that my husband is able to provide for us and i can stay home. I was doing this because I wanted to help friends. But, friends shouldnt take advantage of friends.
Bluecalm
by Bronze Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 9:02 AM
1 mom liked this
"This arrangement doesn't work for my family anymore."

I wouldn't offer to do it occasionally either.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Jinx-Troublex3
by Jinx on Jun. 26, 2013 at 9:17 AM
This...

I *might* offer to do it randomly but only at a fair babysitting rate. DH provides for us but extra spending money is nice too!


Quoting Bluecalm:

"This arrangement doesn't work for my family anymore."



I wouldn't offer to do it occasionally either.

Bluecalm
by Bronze Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 9:27 AM
I wouldn't offer to do it even occasionally because I think they would push it, you know- give an inch, take a mile.

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

This...



I *might* offer to do it randomly but only at a fair babysitting rate. DH provides for us but extra spending money is nice too!



Quoting Bluecalm:

"This arrangement doesn't work for my family anymore."





I wouldn't offer to do it occasionally either.




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mem82
by Platinum Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 9:47 AM
Eeeek! That sounds like a hard place to be.
oredeb
by debbie on Jun. 26, 2013 at 10:28 AM

 well i would tell them straight out why i cant babysit their kids, be honest , if they are your friends, they will see where you are coming from, sometimes it takes a bit of time also to see that. you will be helping them in the long run, they need to know how it is, i'd want someone to tell me the truth.

shamrock_momma
by Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 10:28 AM
Lol it's certainly not fun in this situation. I'm not going to offer to watch the kids, I live right across the street so if they are truly desperate, they know they can come over.

I'm watching them today and I'm at my wits end. I have fed, changed, rocked, burped, and done everything I can think of to get this baby girl calmed down. Nothing is working. I hesitate to call anyone's child spoiled, but I have never been around one before that couldn't at least sit and play for a few minutes, especially with other people in the room.

Good thing I have a hidden chocolate stash. ;)
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