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OT & Just For Fun: The Ultimate Best Friendship Test: Would Your BFF Do THIS for You?

Posted by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:51 AM
  • 7 Replies

The Ultimate Best Friendship Test: Would Your BFF Do THIS for You?

by Jenny Isenman 

At a conference I attended last year, I heard the amazing Brene Brown give a speech about move-a-body-friends (MABFs): People you could call in the middle of the night to come over and, say, dispose of a body ... no questions asked.

At first I thought, Well, who of my friends has the right girth and strength to take on such a task? Next I thought, Who will I have to “off” to test that my supposed “Move-a-Body” friends will follow through? Then it dawned on me, Brene was simply speaking metaphorically, and I put down the knife.

So, I thought I’d check with one of my besties to see if she would move a body for me, or at least share one of those "Best Friend" necklaces. Here's how that awkward conversation went down:

Me: Hey.

Possible MABF: Hi. What’s up?

Me: I just wanted to see if you would move a body for me?

MABF: Wait, say that again?

Me: Would you move a body for me?

MABF: Move one, like in Desperate Housewives?

Me: Yep.

MABF: How did it die?

Me: Does that matter?

MABF: Well, did you kill it on purpose? Look, if it was Mark, I would do it, obviously, but other than that, I’d want to know if it was an accident.

How quickly we assume it’s the husband?

Me: Fine, let’s say it was on purpose? Let’s say Mark made that weird chewing sound he makes when he eats bagels, and I just couldn’t take it anymore, so I beat him with the cream cheese container.

MABF: Really, that’s your weapon of choice, cream cheese?

Me: I’m assuming it would be in the heat of the moment, and that would be the nearest thing.

MABF: Do you have any idea how long it would take to off someone with a plastic container? I don’t know if this is a well thought out plan.

Me: I’m NOT MAKING A PLAN, I’m just assessing the level of our friendship!

MABF: Well, what condition is the body in; is it all mangled? I have a weak stomach, you know.

Me: I just told you I'd beaten him with a cream cheese container, I don’t think mangling will be involved. Maybe some curdling, if we let him sit too long. I want you to know, I’m starting to rethink our friendship.

MABF: Why do we have to move it? Couldn’t we just say it was self-defense?

Me: Fine, but in that scenario, you’d have to rough me up to make it look real.

MABF: Yeah, I could do that.

Me: I feel like you answered that so effortlessly and yet the rest of this pow-wow isn’t going the way I’d hoped.

MABF: Look, I wouldn’t rule the whole disposal thing out, I’d just have to know a little more.

Me: Is that your way of saying you’d be up for the conversation?

MABF: Would it go like this, "Hey Tracey, what did you get at Saks yesterday? What are you making for dinner? What should I do with the body in my kitchen?"

Me: Yes ... but frankly, I wouldn’t care what you’re making for dinner unless you were planning on inviting me.

MABF: Then sure why not? Would you have extra bagels?

Me: Yep.

MABF: I’m in. So, what are you doing for breakfast, I'm hungry.

As it turns out, I do have an MABF; a meticulous, crafty one, who's willing to rough me up, if necessary. I'm so lucky!

What would you do for your Move-a-Body friends?

by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:51 AM
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Replies (1-7):
kmath
by Silver Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:54 AM

LMAO!  I love that!  I do have a MABF.  She has my same sick, twisted sense of humor so we get along great. 

kirbymom
by Sonja on Jun. 28, 2013 at 6:22 PM
OMG! That was so...well, I'm not sure yet. lol But as it happens, I don't have MABF so this is a moot question for me.
bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 6:28 PM

 I do have a couple MABFs.  Including my hubby who would be totally willing to help with the killing first.  LOL

I have to say that I laughed so hard I cried and almost peed reading that!  LOL

bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 6:28 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting kirbymom:

OMG! That was so...well, I'm not sure yet. lol But as it happens, I don't have MABF so this is a moot question for me.

 I would totally move a body for you!  I know you would not kill someone who didn't need it.

Jinx-Troublex3
by Jinx on Jun. 28, 2013 at 6:36 PM
1 mom liked this
I have two for sure, maybe a third... DH isn't one..he may need moving!
kirbymom
by Sonja on Jun. 28, 2013 at 6:38 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting bluerooffarm:





Aaawwwwww!!! That is the sweetest thing that has ever been said to me outside of my husband. Oh wow. I am so touched. *sniff*sniff* I would do the same for you too. :)))
Knightquester
by Bronze Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 6:40 PM
1 mom liked this

Oy' I think I may have a few MABF's.  One of them I know for sure, but she's several states up north and can you imagine the shape and smell that body would be in by the time she made it here? embarrassed mini

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