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The Art of Failure ??? ....

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..... Do you teach your child(ren) how to fail? Or rather, do you teach your child that it isn't about failing as much as t is about picking yourself up and trying again and then again and again until you can not only get back up, but stand up by yourself?








How do you handle teaching failuer to your child(ren)?

  

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by on Jun. 29, 2013 at 2:54 PM
Replies (11-19):
Boobah
by Nikki :) on Jun. 30, 2013 at 11:07 PM
1 mom liked this
My daughter is a perfectionist also, and it's hard but she is coming around.
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No_Difference
by Silver Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 7:28 AM
1 mom liked this

 This year's swim season has been a MAJOR lesson in failure, but continuing to try it. My daughter just turned 9 (midway through the season), they still have her in the 8 and under group. Since she's the oldest in her group,  they have her swiming the IM (all 4 strokes in one event). She continually gets disqualified for it for various reasons, and she is starting tohate it because of it. Truly, she's really good at it, and could probably do it without getting DQd if they'd work with her on it... She keeps doing it though, and works hard at it. She's seeing herself improve throughout the season with it, and it has done major improvement on her other individual events. She never throws a fit when she "fails". We go back and watch the video on the event to see where she went wrong, and she takes the constructive criticism from the coaches (and mom and dad) on how to do better next time and applies it. She'll eventually get it, and she knows that. She shakes the hands of her competitors whether she wins or loses and I couldn't ask for anything more.
Sorry if I'm rambling...this has been a long week and I don't know if its day or night half the time anymore lol.

kmath
by Silver Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 10:53 AM

Trying and failing is a part of life.  No one is good at everything.  I let DS know as long as he trys and gives 100% then even if he doesn't succeed, he didn't really fail either.  He learned something from the experience, even if it wasn't what the original outcome was thought to be.  It is a good lesson for children to learn early, IMO, that way they can cope with failure as they get older. 

usmom3
by BJ on Jul. 1, 2013 at 7:06 PM
1 mom liked this

 I have been trying to help them see that failing is a learning experience & should be seen as that & not a bad thing for in failure we learn what not to do the next time!

kirbymom
by Sonja on Jul. 1, 2013 at 7:22 PM
Awww! That is tough!. And don't you worry about rambling on. You weren't and I wouldn't care if you did!. :) That is wha we are here for. To help in any way we can. Even if it is just "listening". :)
Sounds like your daughter is a trooper and she will get where she is going. :) Good job mamma. :)





Quoting No_Difference:

 This year's swim season has been a MAJOR lesson in failure, but continuing to try it. My daughter just turned 9 (midway through the season), they still have her in the 8 and under group. Since she's the oldest in her group,  they have her swiming the IM (all 4 strokes in one event). She continually gets disqualified for it for various reasons, and she is starting tohate it because of it. Truly, she's really good at it, and could probably do it without getting DQd if they'd work with her on it... She keeps doing it though, and works hard at it. She's seeing herself improve throughout the season with it, and it has done major improvement on her other individual events. She never throws a fit when she "fails". We go back and watch the video on the event to see where she went wrong, and she takes the constructive criticism from the coaches (and mom and dad) on how to do better next time and applies it. She'll eventually get it, and she knows that. She shakes the hands of her competitors whether she wins or loses and I couldn't ask for anything more. Sorry if I'm rambling...this has been a long week and I don't know if its day or night half the time anymore lol.


kirbymom
by Sonja on Jul. 1, 2013 at 7:24 PM
Exactly!



Quoting kmath:

Trying and failing is a part of life.  No one is good at everything.  I let DS know as long as he trys and gives 100% then even if he doesn't succeed, he didn't really fail either.  He learned something from the experience, even if it wasn't what the original outcome was thought to be.  It is a good lesson for children to learn early, IMO, that way they can cope with failure as they get older. 


kirbymom
by Sonja on Jul. 1, 2013 at 7:27 PM
Yep. That is something I have been saying for years.




Quoting usmom3:

 I have been trying to help them see that failing is a learning experience & should be seen as that & not a bad thing for in failure we learn what not to do the next time!


No_Difference
by Silver Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 7:30 PM
1 mom liked this

 Thank you :)
She is a trooper this year with the team.
I thought it was kidna funny, right after I responded to this earlier, I was reading Wendel's Wrokshop by Chris Riddell with my little guy. It's about a mouse who likes to invent, but he never tidies up, and if something doesn't work just perfectly, he scraps it. He creates a robot to clean up his messes, but it doesn't do it quite right, so Wendle scraps the robot and makes another one. The new one does too good of a job and dumps Wendle in the scrap. There, he sees all his "failures" and makes new things out of them to get rid of crazy new "clean bot" and from that point forward, never scrapped an invention even if it wasn't perfect. It was a cute story, and reminded me of this post lol.

Quoting kirbymom:

Awww! That is tough!. And don't you worry about rambling on. You weren't and I wouldn't care if you did!. :) That is wha we are here for. To help in any way we can. Even if it is just "listening". :)
Sounds like your daughter is a trooper and she will get where she is going. :) Good job mamma. :)





Quoting No_Difference:

 This year's swim season has been a MAJOR lesson in failure, but continuing to try it. My daughter just turned 9 (midway through the season), they still have her in the 8 and under group. Since she's the oldest in her group,  they have her swiming the IM (all 4 strokes in one event). She continually gets disqualified for it for various reasons, and she is starting tohate it because of it. Truly, she's really good at it, and could probably do it without getting DQd if they'd work with her on it... She keeps doing it though, and works hard at it. She's seeing herself improve throughout the season with it, and it has done major improvement on her other individual events. She never throws a fit when she "fails". We go back and watch the video on the event to see where she went wrong, and she takes the constructive criticism from the coaches (and mom and dad) on how to do better next time and applies it. She'll eventually get it, and she knows that. She shakes the hands of her competitors whether she wins or loses and I couldn't ask for anything more. Sorry if I'm rambling...this has been a long week and I don't know if its day or night half the time anymore lol.


 

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kirbymom
by Sonja on Jul. 1, 2013 at 7:46 PM
Quoting No_Difference:




Awww. That is so adorably sweet. Quite frankly, this was the direction I wanted this post to go in. You knowhave a place to let go and bring it together with our schooling lessons.
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