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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

Burnt out...ready to send them back to PS

Posted by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 1:01 PM
  • 28 Replies
Please no bashing.

We took the kids out in march. Have been homeschooling since. My 7 year old has been awful ever since, when I say awful...I mean her overall attitude has gone downhill. She doesn't listen at all, my once very gentle and calm daughter is now very hateful and defiant. When it comes time for schoolwork...holy cow. She screams, cries and downright does not listen. I will sit with her and repeat the question (for example) and then go back and read where she can find the answer (or show her, depends on the subject...I never outright GIVE her the answer but show her an example of how to get it) and she will sit there for 15-20 minutes crying throwing this huge temper tantrum on how she doesn't understand.
My 5 year old is doing the same thing..not wanting to do ANYTHING. What should take us a few hours to complete, has (more then once) taken well into bedtime to get done. I've tried scheduling, I've tried relaxed, we've taken breaks, we've taken field trips, we've tried putting our pencil down..taking 5 deep breaths and trying again. They keep saying they want to go back, they cry because they miss their friends (we've joined a homeschool group, but they aren't very active, I've tried to get in touch with some moms with absolutely no luck)

Idk what to do. I'm ready to send them back to PS. This is making my life more stressful than it already is (my husband is gone 2 straight weeks a month and home 2 straight weeks a month) the stress is affecting my marriage too. We have tried everything and nothing is working. Would it make me a bad mom to send them back? LOL
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by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 1:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mom2Bellarose
by Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 1:11 PM
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Of course it wouldn't make you a bad mom to send them back. I have encounted similar struggles with my DD. She was in K last year and I pulled her out after the first week. I still think about sending her back but I know the issues we've had with HS is much smaller than the issues we have had with PS and will continue to have. I don't know your reasons for wanting to HS but make a list if pro vs. con and if the best thing is to enroll them in PS then don't feel guilt about it. Kids can be successful in PS. Just stay on top of whatever issues they were having. No matter how your kids get their education I beleive the most important thing is an involved, encouraging parent. Good luck!
CowgirlMama0508
by Tasha on Jul. 2, 2013 at 1:27 PM
Thank you!! We had absolutely no issues with public school. We decided to hs because of my husbands schedule ( the 2 weeks on 2 weeks off) thinking it'd give us more family time. Which it is, but their whole attitudes about homeschooling are just adding more stress to my life than it should..if that makes sense

Quoting mom2Bellarose:

Of course it wouldn't make you a bad mom to send them back. I have encounted similar struggles with my DD. She was in K last year and I pulled her out after the first week. I still think about sending her back but I know the issues we've had with HS is much smaller than the issues we have had with PS and will continue to have. I don't know your reasons for wanting to HS but make a list if pro vs. con and if the best thing is to enroll them in PS then don't feel guilt about it. Kids can be successful in PS. Just stay on top of whatever issues they were having. No matter how your kids get their education I beleive the most important thing is an involved, encouraging parent. Good luck!
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AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 1:39 PM
5 moms liked this

Echoing the previous poster - of course it doesn't make you a bad mom to send them back! Nobody "wins" if the parent/child relationship suffers, and if sending them back salvages your relationships with them, then do it.

I would, however, encourage you to possibly stick it out a bit longer. The first year or two is always the hardest. If your co-op isn't offering much in the way of social activities, sign the children up for extracurriculars. Stop school work for the summer; start back in mid-September. Try a year round schedule starting then - six weeks on, one week off, two weeks for holidays, etc.

Above all, if you're the praying sort, pray, lol.

Even after you've been doing this for a while, it's normal to fantasize about sending them back on the bad days, lol. I joke with my family and friends that while most moms fantasize about s*x or chocolate, I fantasize about yellow school buses taking my kiddos away for 7 hours (7 blissful hours)... but only on the bad days. The good days make those bad days worth it :)

*hugs*

I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee














usmom3
by BJ on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:35 PM
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 They are so young I suggest taking a child led learning approach for the next year ( don't worry about them falling behind because catching up really doesn't take as long as we have been led to believe it dose). The desire to learn is natural & all children have it, you just have to let them be the guide to the learning & you be the facilitator. 

CowgirlMama0508
by Tasha on Jul. 2, 2013 at 3:19 PM
Can someone explain child led learning? Do u just ask them what they want to learn about and find stuff from there?
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gratefulgal
by Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 3:24 PM
1 mom liked this

I echo the above posts, but is it at all possible that they are using the fits to manipulate you into giving  giving what they want (going to PS)? Also, if it is the not seeing their friends as the main issue they have, maybe more phone calls/ visits/ chats via webcam may be in order as a reward for good/ better behaivor?

 

AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 3:31 PM
1 mom liked this


*gently*

Not all children are natural learners and not all children have the natural desire or drive to learn with no direction/guidance/structure. My eldest is one of those.

The OP knows her children best. If she can honestly separate herself from being "mom" for a second, step back and analyze how her children learn, and if that leads her to determine that they WOULD be a good fit for child led, that's one thing, but I think it's really stretching it to assert that *all* children have the natural desire and drive to learn. Children are unique beings and never *always* fit into one category or another.

Quoting usmom3:

 They are so young I suggest taking a child led learning approach for the next year ( don't worry about them falling behind because catching up really doesn't take as long as we have been led to believe it dose). The desire to learn is natural & all children have it, you just have to let them be the guide to the learning & you be the facilitator. 



I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee














101stwife
by Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 3:35 PM

 Of course it doesn't make you a bad mom! You need to do what is best for your children and your family!! May I ask what lead you to home schooling in the first place? What I mean is, did you take them out because you weren't happy with the education they were getting in public school? Were there safety concerns? Or, did you just feel you wanted to home school based on principal?

I took my kids out right after Christmas break of their 5th grade year. Last year was our first full year homeschooling. Because they were coming out of a public school I was very relaxed with school and grades because they really need some time to decompress or destress. Because they are so young I would just give them time to adjust if you want to continue home schooling.

Have you talked to them about why they want to return? If it is just socialization could you maybe schedule playdates with their friends? Maybe get them involved in girlscouts/cubscouts....sign them up for some local sports?

If you are not against public school for safety, education or principal reasons and it works well for your family then do not feel bad for sending them back to public school. In the end you need to do what works best for you and your children.

Tal0n
by Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 3:46 PM
1 mom liked this

It's more like seeing what they're interested and providing ways for them to explore it to their satisfaction.


Quoting CowgirlMama0508:

Can someone explain child led learning? Do u just ask them what they want to learn about and find stuff from there?



rsrangel
by Bronze Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 4:26 PM
1 mom liked this
That sounds a lot like how my son was when we homeschooled a couple years ago, and I got so frustrated that I put him back in school. He ended up realizing how good he had it at home and begging to come back. I made him finish the year though, and he will now be homeschooled again. I suggest stopping schoolwork all together for awhile, don't worry about them getting behind as another person said too, and just enjoy the time home together. Take some time to regroup, figure out their different learning styles, and explore the different methods of homeschooling to see if something else would work better. But if you do decide to put them back in school, then NO that doesn't make you a bad mom!
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