Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Burnt out...ready to send them back to PS

Please no bashing.

We took the kids out in march. Have been homeschooling since. My 7 year old has been awful ever since, when I say awful...I mean her overall attitude has gone downhill. She doesn't listen at all, my once very gentle and calm daughter is now very hateful and defiant. When it comes time for schoolwork...holy cow. She screams, cries and downright does not listen. I will sit with her and repeat the question (for example) and then go back and read where she can find the answer (or show her, depends on the subject...I never outright GIVE her the answer but show her an example of how to get it) and she will sit there for 15-20 minutes crying throwing this huge temper tantrum on how she doesn't understand.
My 5 year old is doing the same thing..not wanting to do ANYTHING. What should take us a few hours to complete, has (more then once) taken well into bedtime to get done. I've tried scheduling, I've tried relaxed, we've taken breaks, we've taken field trips, we've tried putting our pencil down..taking 5 deep breaths and trying again. They keep saying they want to go back, they cry because they miss their friends (we've joined a homeschool group, but they aren't very active, I've tried to get in touch with some moms with absolutely no luck)

Idk what to do. I'm ready to send them back to PS. This is making my life more stressful than it already is (my husband is gone 2 straight weeks a month and home 2 straight weeks a month) the stress is affecting my marriage too. We have tried everything and nothing is working. Would it make me a bad mom to send them back? LOL
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 1:01 PM
Replies (11-20):
by Silver Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 5:09 PM
2 moms liked this

The first year is always the hardest. Its when you are all adjusting, working out the bugs, finding out style that works for everybody. That's the year where you figure out that homeschooling doesn't have to look like public school or that the curriculum you're using needs tweaking. It takes more than just a few months to find your groove.  If youre burnt out, imagine how they feel! I'm assuming they have been in school since Aug/sept and they're still in school? Could they just be needing a break? I would be. Did you take any time to deschool when you took them out?  Try arranging play dates with their school friends and find a more active homeschool group. This sounds as much like a discipline issue as it is a schooling issue. If that's the case, sending them back to school won't solve the problem.

by Sonja on Jul. 2, 2013 at 6:25 PM
2 moms liked this
Hi Cowgirl.

I'm sorry that your homeschool experience hasn't been all that you expected. When you pulled them from PS, did you give them any time to adjust to a different environment for schooling? If not, then that is part of the reason your kids are seemingly so unruly. They haven't had any mental or physical downtime. Kids their respective ages need that downtime to relax, chill out and start getting prepared/used to the idea if doing things so completely different than what they are used to doing. I would suggest that you take done time to pull back from the serious side if learning and rediscover the fun joyous side of learning. Take time to be a family first and then slowly as SF in the serious schooling. And the let your kids tell you some of the things/subjects they are interested in learning and let them teach you about them and their love of learning. And, if they are missing their PS friends, make some playdates and put together some park time where they can see eir friends again. This should help lessen the stress some. You are NOT a bad mother!
by Silver Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 6:45 PM
1 mom liked this

You have to do what is best for your family.  If that is putting the kids back in PS, then that doesn't make you a bad mom at all.  It makes you a mom who knows and loves her kids and is doing what is best for them.

I agree with the PP's though, take a break and re-evaluate the whole process.  They have only been out since March and you guys just haven't found your groove yet.  Spend the summer playing and being a family and try again in a couple of months. 

Whatever you decide, you will know you are doing the best thing for your family.  Good luck Mama!

by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 7:12 PM
1 mom liked this
We haven't even started yet, but your kids are so young and the age group I am used to working with. From everything I have read and all the advice I have received so far, I say take a break. They were in school, so they know what that's like, they may need a little time (maybe the rest of the summer) to "deschool". What I am doing is if my kids are interested in something, I facilitate ways for them to learn about it, but don't call it school. I might help find a Netflix movie about it, or at their age a coloring page or google stuff to help them find out more. Do things like play with Legos and just read for fun. They will learn more than you think from play. They will learn to be home with you and each other. They will learn that throwing tantrums does not get them what they want.

I also always hear the first year is the hardest. And that its usually worth it to stick it out. No matter what you decide, you are not a bad mom. You are a great mom for considering all your options and trying to figure out what's best for them. I, personally, would try to stick out, give them a break while you find ways to encourage natural learning and you can also figure out their learning styles and find ways to encourage learning when you go back to a curriculum.
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 7:54 PM
2 moms liked this
Thank you guys so much! I'm going to sit down tonight after they're in bed and look into what you guys have told me. I really appreciate all of your advice :)
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 8:03 PM
1 mom liked this

Have you given her time to deschool? I know that this was a big mistake for us. I tried to take them out and educate right away and huge fights broke out.

The kids, particularly my 12 year old daughter, needed time to get used to the change. I was advised by a friend to stop the formal educational process and try some unschooling techniques or free learning, learning through videos, and lots of hands on activities. It really worked for her and one day I saw her with her books out and asking questions.

It is very normal for kids to have a problem with going from public school to homeschool.

Oh and just my opinion but no you would not be a bad mom for giving your children whatever life works best for your family. There is nothing wrong with that.

by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:02 PM
3 moms liked this
I think we will take the rest of the summer off and try again. Thanks guys. I really appreciate it :)
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 12:16 AM
2 moms liked this

At that age, learning comes through play. Embark on fieldtrips, nature walks, and reading aloud to them. If you do nothing else for the next several months, they'd probably be okay. Sometimes doing school work outdoors is all the difference. My daughter memorized a list by me reading to her aloud from her textbook while playing musical chairs...the reading was the music and then I'd ask the question and if she knew the answer, she could sit down. She found it so fun. Here's the girl who would rather cry for twenty minutes than do a 30 second problem. She'll be entering 2nd grade this year and I'm planning to do things in a way that does not resemble school. Definitely take a break. This is the big advantage of homeschooling (as said by a newbie, non-expert), you can teach them to step back when it gets stressful...a very important life lesson. But why keep them home just to copy school. Rather enjoy life with them. For now, at least enjoy the summer. Good luck.

by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 12:28 AM

I totally agree. Your children are so young just have a very relaxed education and have fun! It may take some time and effort but they will start to listen to you. You won't ever regret it!

Quoting usmom3:

 They are so young I suggest taking a child led learning approach for the next year ( don't worry about them falling behind because catching up really doesn't take as long as we have been led to believe it dose). The desire to learn is natural & all children have it, you just have to let them be the guide to the learning & you be the facilitator. 

 I am a stay at home,  home educating, non-vaxingmother to many children :)  And a very happy wife to a wonderful man!!!

by Platinum Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 8:45 AM
*hug* As others have said, the first year is the hardest. Also, make it clear that ps isn't on the table, anymore. If it isn't an option, they will let it go. 8)
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)