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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms
My oldest will be in secons grade next year. DH is against homeschooling still. I really feel like there is no convincing him, no matter how much our kids are learning, and how well behaved they are. We went to my nephews bday party and many of the kids there were just aweful! Two kids started picking on our son, dh didnt interfer and just watched, and our son handled it ok said DH.

Anyways, dh got a settlement from his motorcycle accident, which means we can pay off some debt, hopefully get him a car and possibly move. The deal was that unless we move to a better school district the kids will be homeschooled. So, now he wants to start looking in those areas! I started to.panic, almost started.crying and started to get so angry about it. We need to.move.to a bigger place, but I'd rather stay in our tiny place and homeschool than move and put the kids in.school. Also, i have three.kids and another on the way, i would really like a chance to homeschool each of them! Homeschooling really is where my heart is!!!
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 11:53 AM
Replies (11-20):
oredeb
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:04 PM

 presious, he might change his mind still so dont give up! and if you have to put them in school it will be a better one so thats good! and you can be involved so thats good also! and who knows your dh might not like what he sees of them being in school? never know what will happen.

Precious333
by Julia on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:09 PM
Thats what Im praying, that if they have to, maybe dh will decide it actually isnt for us!


Quoting oredeb:

 presious, he might change his mind still so dont give up! and if you have to put them in school it will be a better one so thats good! and you can be involved so thats good also! and who knows your dh might not like what he sees of them being in school? never know what will happen.


Precious333
by Julia on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:15 PM
1 mom liked this
I totally understand both sides of the argument. I am not one to.give up on what i believe is best.....I dont think anyone should, at the same time, I cant just demand my way either. The issue is that homeschooling really is where i feel led, I do believe irs best for everyone, dh however feels the opposite. I wish there were a simple answer. If i had to.put the kids in school I could work on not holding on to.resentment towards him, that doesnt do anyone any good, but it will be a difficult journey for me honestly.


Quoting SusanTheWriter:

You may be right. I'm just saying that there's a very big scope to education, to marriage and to life. Balance is tricky to find, but choosing one thing over everything else often doesn't make anyone happy.

Quoting JadeTigr7:

Sometimes homeschooling is the better option.

If someone is called by God to homeschool, but doesn't follow that, then they won't be very happy.

Just trying to point out that sometimes, just giving in and being involved in public school doesn't always make people happy either. The way you worded your response was that the only way to keep her marriage happy was by giving up what she feels called to do.  I don't see how exactly that solves anything.  If she didn't care about her kids being in school she wouldn't have panicked about it.  Maybe its not a big deal to YOU, but to some people, it is and that doesn't make it any less valid. 



Quoting SusanTheWriter:

You can look at it as giving in. I look at it as picking a better time or finding a way that makes both parties happy.

I also don't look at homeschooling as the only possibility in a world filled with options.

Quoting JadeTigr7:


I hate this argument.  This says that only giving in to her husband creates a good marriage.

If my husband was to push me to give up homeschooling when it was something that weighed on my heart, and I felt called to do by God (which I do) then that would make for a bad marriage also.  The street runs both ways.



OP, I am so sorry that you're having to deal with this.  My husband is completely on board with homeschooling, so I've never been through this, but I'll keep you in my prayers. 


Quoting SusanTheWriter:

If you had to pick a hill to die on, would you choose homeschooling (which in your case may mean a very angry and divisive environment for your children) or your marriage and a safe and comfortable home for your family?

There's no rule that says just because your children attend a public/private school, you can't be involved in their education, active in the school as a volunteer, and still do fun learning enrichment activities at home. Call it part-time homeschooling if you like, but there are a thousand shades of education between public and homeschool.










Precious333
by Julia on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:18 PM
Its about socialization. We have discussed it too many times. He has met some of my hsing friends, not all. He has been to one homeschooling convention.


Quoting Boobah:Have you asked your dh why he is against homeschooling? What are his reasons? If they are valid, maybe you should consider giving up homeschooling. If they are ridiculous like socialization, etc, then you may have to stand your ground and tell him why it is so important to you. Give him examples, facts, read him excerpts from well written homeschooling books or websites.
You say you have a good HS community, that is so great! Have you talked with them? Has dh spent time with them as well? Once my husband went to a homeschool convention with me he was sold.
AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:20 PM
3 moms liked this

Pray, pray, pray.

I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee














Precious333
by Julia on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:24 PM
Actually dh has said before that this would be an subject he would.divorce me over. We almost got divorced 4 yrs ago, and one of areas he decided to come back was because i willing to.allow him to decide within reason (for instance i pick the school district)


Quoting Precious333:

I totally understand both sides of the argument. I am not one to.give up on what i believe is best.....I dont think anyone should, at the same time, I cant just demand my way either. The issue is that homeschooling really is where i feel led, I do believe irs best for everyone, dh however feels the opposite. I wish there were a simple answer. If i had to.put the kids in school I could work on not holding on to.resentment towards him, that doesnt do anyone any good, but it will be a difficult journey for me honestly.




Quoting SusanTheWriter:

You may be right. I'm just saying that there's a very big scope to education, to marriage and to life. Balance is tricky to find, but choosing one thing over everything else often doesn't make anyone happy.

Quoting JadeTigr7:

Sometimes homeschooling is the better option.

If someone is called by God to homeschool, but doesn't follow that, then they won't be very happy.

Just trying to point out that sometimes, just giving in and being involved in public school doesn't always make people happy either. The way you worded your response was that the only way to keep her marriage happy was by giving up what she feels called to do.  I don't see how exactly that solves anything.  If she didn't care about her kids being in school she wouldn't have panicked about it.  Maybe its not a big deal to YOU, but to some people, it is and that doesn't make it any less valid. 




Quoting SusanTheWriter:

You can look at it as giving in. I look at it as picking a better time or finding a way that makes both parties happy.

I also don't look at homeschooling as the only possibility in a world filled with options.

Quoting JadeTigr7:


I hate this argument.  This says that only giving in to her husband creates a good marriage.

If my husband was to push me to give up homeschooling when it was something that weighed on my heart, and I felt called to do by God (which I do) then that would make for a bad marriage also.  The street runs both ways.



OP, I am so sorry that you're having to deal with this.  My husband is completely on board with homeschooling, so I've never been through this, but I'll keep you in my prayers. 



Quoting SusanTheWriter:

If you had to pick a hill to die on, would you choose homeschooling (which in your case may mean a very angry and divisive environment for your children) or your marriage and a safe and comfortable home for your family?

There's no rule that says just because your children attend a public/private school, you can't be involved in their education, active in the school as a volunteer, and still do fun learning enrichment activities at home. Call it part-time homeschooling if you like, but there are a thousand shades of education between public and homeschool.













AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 3:27 PM


*gently*

It sounds like he's holding up his end of the bargain - moving to a better area, one of your choosing.

Quoting Precious333:

Actually dh has said before that this would be an subject he would.divorce me over. We almost got divorced 4 yrs ago, and one of areas he decided to come back was because i willing to.allow him to decide within reason (for instance i pick the school district)


Quoting Precious333:

I totally understand both sides of the argument. I am not one to.give up on what i believe is best.....I dont think anyone should, at the same time, I cant just demand my way either. The issue is that homeschooling really is where i feel led, I do believe irs best for everyone, dh however feels the opposite. I wish there were a simple answer. If i had to.put the kids in school I could work on not holding on to.resentment towards him, that doesnt do anyone any good, but it will be a difficult journey for me honestly.




Quoting SusanTheWriter:

You may be right. I'm just saying that there's a very big scope to education, to marriage and to life. Balance is tricky to find, but choosing one thing over everything else often doesn't make anyone happy.

Quoting JadeTigr7:

Sometimes homeschooling is the better option.

If someone is called by God to homeschool, but doesn't follow that, then they won't be very happy.

Just trying to point out that sometimes, just giving in and being involved in public school doesn't always make people happy either. The way you worded your response was that the only way to keep her marriage happy was by giving up what she feels called to do.  I don't see how exactly that solves anything.  If she didn't care about her kids being in school she wouldn't have panicked about it.  Maybe its not a big deal to YOU, but to some people, it is and that doesn't make it any less valid. 




Quoting SusanTheWriter:

You can look at it as giving in. I look at it as picking a better time or finding a way that makes both parties happy.

I also don't look at homeschooling as the only possibility in a world filled with options.

Quoting JadeTigr7:


I hate this argument.  This says that only giving in to her husband creates a good marriage.

If my husband was to push me to give up homeschooling when it was something that weighed on my heart, and I felt called to do by God (which I do) then that would make for a bad marriage also.  The street runs both ways.



OP, I am so sorry that you're having to deal with this.  My husband is completely on board with homeschooling, so I've never been through this, but I'll keep you in my prayers. 



Quoting SusanTheWriter:

If you had to pick a hill to die on, would you choose homeschooling (which in your case may mean a very angry and divisive environment for your children) or your marriage and a safe and comfortable home for your family?

There's no rule that says just because your children attend a public/private school, you can't be involved in their education, active in the school as a volunteer, and still do fun learning enrichment activities at home. Call it part-time homeschooling if you like, but there are a thousand shades of education between public and homeschool.















I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee














kirbymom
by Sonja on Jul. 5, 2013 at 3:34 PM
Oh sweety! I am so sorry that this is happening. :( My thoughts are with you and your family.
dineau6
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 3:37 PM

What is dh worried about with homeschooling? Maybe alleviating some of his fears and prejudices about homeschooling would help him to be more comfortable with it?

hipmomto3
by Bronze Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 5:05 PM

BRAVO AND AMEN!


Quoting SusanTheWriter:

If you had to pick a hill to die on, would you choose homeschooling (which in your case may mean a very angry and divisive environment for your children) or your marriage and a safe and comfortable home for your family?

There's no rule that says just because your children attend a public/private school, you can't be involved in their education, active in the school as a volunteer, and still do fun learning enrichment activities at home. Call it part-time homeschooling if you like, but there are a thousand shades of education between public and homeschool.



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