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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms
My oldest will be in secons grade next year. DH is against homeschooling still. I really feel like there is no convincing him, no matter how much our kids are learning, and how well behaved they are. We went to my nephews bday party and many of the kids there were just aweful! Two kids started picking on our son, dh didnt interfer and just watched, and our son handled it ok said DH.

Anyways, dh got a settlement from his motorcycle accident, which means we can pay off some debt, hopefully get him a car and possibly move. The deal was that unless we move to a better school district the kids will be homeschooled. So, now he wants to start looking in those areas! I started to.panic, almost started.crying and started to get so angry about it. We need to.move.to a bigger place, but I'd rather stay in our tiny place and homeschool than move and put the kids in.school. Also, i have three.kids and another on the way, i would really like a chance to homeschool each of them! Homeschooling really is where my heart is!!!
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 11:53 AM
Replies (31-40):
TidewaterClan
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 11:44 PM
4 moms liked this
Does your insurance allow you any counselor visits? Even if he won't go it would be wonderful for YOU to have someone who can give you solutions to work WITH your husband on your marriage & NOT for him.
KickButtMama
by Shannon on Jul. 6, 2013 at 12:28 AM
1 mom liked this

I know, I totally feel that from you each time. That's why I say, if you want to have a solid marriage, maybe (after you both agree on a good school system) you take 1 year w/ the kids in PS and really work on your marriage. He might realize you won't be pulling in a 6 figure income no matter what! But, education is stressful with way you go, and we moms always second guess. So taking a year to fix the foundation of the family won't completely scar your kids for life?

HUGS!!

Quoting Precious333:

Thanks! Each time this comes up it reminds me on how broken our marriage is. Its so hard when we disagree on all the importanf issues!


Quoting KickButtMama:

I'm sorry hon, I know this is something you two have been at odds over for years. The fact is, none of us is in your shoes so can't see all sides of the issue. To someone like myself, it sounds like a controlling factor. I know you have painstakîngly researched and presented evidence on every one of his 'fears'. He then threatened to leave you until he got his way. So to me it sounds like waaay more than an educational issue. Some school districts are amazing. I think, maybe if you move to a better area, you might consider PS, just while you work on your marriage - to make it so that he is willing to give you equal footing. (If that's what you want). But, again I'm not in your marriage, that's just my take from readiñg your various posts over the last few years. 



Precious333
by Julia on Jul. 6, 2013 at 11:25 AM
Im just afraid that they may stay in ps :(


Quoting KickButtMama:

I know, I totally feel that from you each time. That's why I say, if you want to have a solid marriage, maybe (after you both agree on a good school system) you take 1 year w/ the kids in PS and really work on your marriage. He might realize you won't be pulling in a 6 figure income no matter what! But, education is stressful with way you go, and we moms always second guess. So taking a year to fix the foundation of the family won't completely scar your kids for life?

HUGS!!

Quoting Precious333:

Thanks! Each time this comes up it reminds me on how broken our marriage is. Its so hard when we disagree on all the importanf issues!





Quoting KickButtMama:

I'm sorry hon, I know this is something you two have been at odds over for years. The fact is, none of us is in your shoes so can't see all sides of the issue. To someone like myself, it sounds like a controlling factor. I know you have painstakîngly researched and presented evidence on every one of his 'fears'. He then threatened to leave you until he got his way. So to me it sounds like waaay more than an educational issue. Some school districts are amazing. I think, maybe if you move to a better area, you might consider PS, just while you work on your marriage - to make it so that he is willing to give you equal footing. (If that's what you want). But, again I'm not in your marriage, that's just my take from readiñg your various posts over the last few years. 





Precious333
by Julia on Jul. 6, 2013 at 11:26 AM
We have done it before. Maybe he will be willing again, i dont know.


Quoting TidewaterClan:

Does your insurance allow you any counselor visits? Even if he won't go it would be wonderful for YOU to have someone who can give you solutions to work WITH your husband on your marriage & NOT for him.

Precious333
by Julia on Jul. 6, 2013 at 11:30 AM
We have worked through a lot since then. There some things we both have made compromises on (one of his being that we are homeschooling at the moment), and i also made many changes.as well, however we are still very opposed on many different big issues.


Quoting SarahNElijah:

These were my thoughts too remembering past posts.. Even from way back in AP Christians, when your now HSed LOs were breast feeding LOs!! :-b



Anyway.. I don't know if your relationship has changed since then, but he seems to have a "my way or the highway" kind of attitude.. :-( I would have a really hard time always bending to please a partner who would never bend for me, kwim? :-(



I am sorry you are going through this!! :-( My DH was also against me homeschooling when we first started talking about it, so I just kept pumping him full of facts, research, etc... :-b Now he wouldn't have it any other way! Maybe you could ask to just keep them at home for the next couple of years? Hope you guys can find a middle ground that works for both of you!




Quoting KickButtMama:

I'm sorry hon, I know this is something you two have been at odds over for years. The fact is, none of us is in your shoes so can't see all sides of the issue. To someone like myself, it sounds like a controlling factor. I know you have painstakîngly researched and presented evidence on every one of his 'fears'. He then threatened to leave you until he got his way. So to me it sounds like waaay more than an educational issue. Some school districts are amazing. I think, maybe if you move to a better area, you might consider PS, just while you work on your marriage - to make it so that he is willing to give you equal footing. (If that's what you want). But, again I'm not in your marriage, that's just my take from readiñg your various posts over the last few years. 


Jlee4249
by Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 11:32 AM
2 moms liked this
Have your kids take a placement test or something along those lines to show how well they're learning at home. Show him examples of some of the work they've done.
Then find a marriage counselor.
Precious333
by Julia on Jul. 6, 2013 at 11:36 AM
My oldest is enrolled in a public charter where taking test is a criteria, and he placed very well :) so, he knows that they are learning, he sees that they get good social interactions, and he is growing up so well, not to mention he loved homeschooling, they all do :)


Quoting Jlee4249:

Have your kids take a placement test or something along those lines to show how well they're learning at home. Show him examples of some of the work they've done.

Then find a marriage counselor.

TidewaterClan
by on Jul. 6, 2013 at 12:00 PM
3 moms liked this

 I've been married 16 years, and went about 10 years ago.  DH wouldn't go with me but the counselor said she actually liked it better when the person who wanted help came since they were able to listen without interruptions. :)  She was great and a tremendous help for me.

This will be our first year hs, and one of the main reasons is because there wasn't a chance to learn during class (too many interruptions from 10 children constantly acting up - saw it firsthand when volunteering).  We continually had to make up classwork at home and THEN do homework.  I'm looking forward to more family time AND more time to play with friends.  I don't know if that would help your side of the debate, but my dh (not huge on hs initially) is actually on board with dd having more fun time.

 

Quoting Precious333:

We have done it before. Maybe he will be willing again, i dont know.


Quoting TidewaterClan:

Does your insurance allow you any counselor visits? Even if he won't go it would be wonderful for YOU to have someone who can give you solutions to work WITH your husband on your marriage & NOT for him.

 

Precious333
by Julia on Jul. 6, 2013 at 1:46 PM
I know i wi be able to homeschoolinf next year, I have the kids already enrolled in a charter and i have already made other commitments and investments for next year that DH agreed to, if the kids have to go to ps the following year than i will be volunteering, the issue woild than be finding childcare for the younger two.

Counseling would be somethinf i would like, however dh refuses to have anymore discussions on homeschooling or a select few other issues, so maybe going by myself would be a good idea.

Quoting TidewaterClan: I've been married 16 years, and went about 10 years ago.  DH wouldn't go with me but the counselor said she actually liked it better when the person who wanted help came since they were able to listen without interruptions. :)  She was great and a tremendous help for me.
This will be our first year hs, and one of the main reasons is because there wasn't a chance to learn during class (too many interruptions from 10 children constantly acting up - saw it firsthand when volunteering).  We continually had to make up classwork at home and THEN do homework.  I'm looking forward to more family time AND more time to play with friends.  I don't know if that would help your side of the debate, but my dh (not huge on hs initially) is actually on board with dd having more fun time.
 
Quoting Precious333:We have done it before. Maybe he will be willing again, i dont know.

Quoting TidewaterClan:Does your insurance allow you any counselor visits? Even if he won't go it would be wonderful for YOU to have someone who can give you solutions to work WITH your husband on your marriage & NOT for him.
 
TidewaterClan
by on Jul. 6, 2013 at 2:57 PM
1 mom liked this

 I really enjoyed volunteering, and learned some wonderful things from all of the teachers I've worked with.  Plus I could see firsthand what my daughters were working on and help if they needed it.

The only rough part was finding open slots.  My oldest daughter's class has a ton of PTO board member parents, and they always get first dibs.  I was able to help in the library during her time, so there's usually something (no one else wants to do).  :)  My younger daughter's classes haven't had as many involved parents so I've been fortunate to help in math, language arts, regular art, etc.

The bad thing is I'll bet a thousand dollars your co-op offers more socializing time than ps!  The children have to sit still and listen all day just so the teachers can cover the material and try to make it meaningful to each of the 20+ children.  In the cafeteria they're lucky to be able to quietly talk to each other, and recess is only 15 minutes and ONLY if they completed all their classwork.  Which is sad; I'd rather have seen it as homework and let them burn off some energy.

Quoting Precious333:

I know i wi be able to homeschoolinf next year, I have the kids already enrolled in a charter and i have already made other commitments and investments for next year that DH agreed to, if the kids have to go to ps the following year than i will be volunteering, the issue woild than be finding childcare for the younger two.

Counseling would be somethinf i would like, however dh refuses to have anymore discussions on homeschooling or a select few other issues, so maybe going by myself would be a good idea.

Quoting TidewaterClan: I've been married 16 years, and went about 10 years ago.  DH wouldn't go with me but the counselor said she actually liked it better when the person who wanted help came since they were able to listen without interruptions. :)  She was great and a tremendous help for me.
This will be our first year hs, and one of the main reasons is because there wasn't a chance to learn during class (too many interruptions from 10 children constantly acting up - saw it firsthand when volunteering).  We continually had to make up classwork at home and THEN do homework.  I'm looking forward to more family time AND more time to play with friends.  I don't know if that would help your side of the debate, but my dh (not huge on hs initially) is actually on board with dd having more fun time.
 
Quoting Precious333:We have done it before. Maybe he will be willing again, i dont know.

Quoting TidewaterClan:Does your insurance allow you any counselor visits? Even if he won't go it would be wonderful for YOU to have someone who can give you solutions to work WITH your husband on your marriage & NOT for him.
 

 

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