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I have no idea how to handle this anymore...

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(sorry this is a lot longer than I meant it to be) 

My neighbor was previously putting her daughter in private school, but her ex's mom was paying, and now no longer is. She has known this since LAST YEAR, and never looked into where she was going to send her daughter or if she was going to homeschool. During the school year she asked a bunch of questions about how we do all our schooling, and I answered, showed her our stuff...and more questions started popping up that she asks now on a weekly basis...

We don't use a set "program", I pick and choose what is going to work best for us. She asks questions like, is this accredited, will colleges even accept this, what do you mean you can make your own diploma, how will colleges look at that, no one wants a GED"... looking waaay into high school even though she knows she wouldn't be homeschooling that long...

Then she goes back to the option of putting her in public school since she'll be working. The schools around here, K-3 is elementary, 4-5 is intermediary, 6-8 is middle school (give or take a year out of each depending on the school). Her daughter will be in 4th. She's freaking out because she is under the firm belief that her daughter will be going to the horrible school mine went to for a semester of 1st grade and is insistant on figuring out how to transfer her to the only good elementary school around her. I've told her a half a million times how...daily... along with the bit of information that she needs to be looking at the intermediary schools now anyway so worrying about a transfer is the least of her problems. Finally, I got so annoyed, I just looked up which intermediary school her daughter should be going to, ratings, and local opinion on it. It's not that bad. I won't send my daughter there, but it still doesn't sound that bad. (She's trying very hard to convince me to let my daughter go to school with hers....)

Then she flips back to homeschooling again. Again with the questions... She asks how much I'm paying for everything, I tell her, and she freaks out (it's close to $1,000 for both kids this year). I also explain that I pick and choose my own curriculum (for the bagillionth time) and she could essentially homeschool for free if she looked stuff up on her own. I even gave her a list of all different curriculum and free websites, and I don't think I should've even gone that far at this point.

Yesterday. She was on the homeschool side again, but then goes, "So if I do online school with her, I could just send her over here on the days I work, and on my off days we could go on field trips because I feel that is highly important." ...I can't begin to tell you how badly my insides curled up and wanted me to scream and cry on the spot, and not of joy.... Instead I just looked at her and told her as calmly as I could that if she was really leaning towards homeschooling she needed to go the library (ours is very homeschool friendly) and check out some books on homeschooling, start figuring out really quickly which way she feels she wants to go with it, and look stuff up online. I put in hours researching everything, and it took me months to figure out which curriculum was best for us. She quickly made an excuse to leave with an, "Okay, we'll chat more about this later."

I like my neighbor. She can be great. I dislike her daughter... I have been watching her over the school year last year, and a good chunk of this summer - even on days when shes home! Her daughter has lied and stole, and she will not believe a word we say, she'll side with her daughter. I get it. You want to believe your child is an angel...the one being bullied, not the one bullying. But when numerous adults and kids are telling you something opposite your kid is - who should you really believe?! Ugh.

Also, I don't want my entire year based on her work schedule. I don't want to have to figure out how to do school with her daughter when I'm still learning with my own kids, especially since this year I'm fully adding my little guy. She also works 12 hours on random days of the week, but most of the week. I don't want a 3rd child. Hubby and I agreed we were done at 2... Hubby is waiting for a date before he's medically retired, and we have no idea whats going to happen next, and I was really hoping that once he got a new job, that I'd be able to get one that was opposite of his schedule so we could tag team this whole schooling thing, and have more money to do more...having my neighbor's daughter in the equation creats "error" on the calculator.

I have told her all of that NUMBEROUS times (including that I don't like her daughter). I do not want to be responsible for her or her kid, in fact, I already want to wash my hands of the responsibility of them that magically appeared on my lap from last year. She just assumes that I'll be willing to homeschool her kid since I'm already schooling mine, and refuses to  listen to the answer "No." I honestly do not know what to do at this point with her. I've been nice and I've been blunt and nothing seems to be getting across.

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by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 8:00 AM
Replies (21-30):
debramommyof4
by Silver Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 11:41 AM

 If you dont want to and do not give up your diploma there is nothing she can do about it.  Yay! I would just continue to say I cant.  I am trying to work on the confrontation thing.  I have my husband say no if someone really is not listening to me.  He has no problems with confrontation.

Quoting No_Difference:

 I avoid confrontation at all costs too, and this is has what has come from it for us so far... We're in WV. If I read everything correctly, provided she gave a copy of her and my (assuming I'd actually agree to homeschool her kid) diploma, and got approval from the county board of ed, then technically I could.  I don't want to...but unfortunatly I think that loop hole exists :/. I would never give up my diploma, and I would totally tell the board of ed that I do not want to, and I'm sure they'd have no problem backing me up...

(1) The instruction shall be in the home of the child or children or at some other place approved by the county board and for a time equal to the instructional term set forth in section forty-five, article five of this chapter. If the request for home instruction is denied by the county board, good and reasonable justification for the denial shall be furnished in writing to the applicant by the county board. The instruction shall be conducted by a person or persons who, in the judgment of the county superintendent and county board, are qualified to give instruction in subjects required to be taught in public elementary schools in the state. The person or persons providing the instruction, upon request of the county superintendent, shall furnish to the county board information and records as may be required, from time to time, with respect to attendance, instruction and progress of pupils enrolled between the entrance age and sixteen years receiving the instruction. The state board shall develop guidelines for the home schooling of special education students including alternative assessment measures to assure that satisfactory academic progress is achieved.

 

Approval option -- subdivision (1) – specifies that:

 

· the county board of education and the county superintendent approve the home instruction program, including the instructor and the place where the instruction takes place.

 

Quoting debramommyof4:

Since she is not willing to read the laws, and I don't remember what state you bare in, but some say if it is not the parent they have to pay and I think be an accredited teacher.

I would tell her either that you can not legally teach someone else's child because you are not a teacher or that if you do take on her dd then it will cost her about 2000 a month.I would only do this because somewhere out is true and she is going to cause your family issues. I have dealt with people who behaved similarly, and I don't do well with confrontion. So it has hurt my family.

Maybe that will scare her off.

Good luck.

 

 

 

No_Difference
by Silver Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 11:47 AM

 I make mine say no for me too lol. However, he has several times with her, and normally she listens the first time, and it's like she's ignoring him and even he's getting frustrated. I try not to push it with him though. He's got PTSD and even with meds, if he gets angry enough, the meds won't do a thing, and I really don't want to handle this and an episode... I'm kinda on my own at this point. I'm going to talk to my other neighbor and see if she can't help be my forceful backing (she's steps in a lot for me to when she sees me drowning in these types of situations with this particular neighbor). 
I could probably be a ton more forceful if I wouldn't get so ill when trying to. I have to get pretty ticked off to finally blow up and then I don't care how rude I can get, but I feel horrible for days afterwards. I've already been getting that queasy feeling because I guess somewhere deep in me, I know thats the only thing that is going to work in the end...

Quoting debramommyof4:

 If you dont want to and do not give up your diploma there is nothing she can do about it.  Yay! I would just continue to say I cant.  I am trying to work on the confrontation thing.  I have my husband say no if someone really is not listening to me.  He has no problems with confrontation.

Quoting No_Difference:

 I avoid confrontation at all costs too, and this is has what has come from it for us so far... We're in WV. If I read everything correctly, provided she gave a copy of her and my (assuming I'd actually agree to homeschool her kid) diploma, and got approval from the county board of ed, then technically I could.  I don't want to...but unfortunatly I think that loop hole exists :/. I would never give up my diploma, and I would totally tell the board of ed that I do not want to, and I'm sure they'd have no problem backing me up...

(1) The instruction shall be in the home of the child or children or at some other place approved by the county board and for a time equal to the instructional term set forth in section forty-five, article five of this chapter. If the request for home instruction is denied by the county board, good and reasonable justification for the denial shall be furnished in writing to the applicant by the county board. The instruction shall be conducted by a person or persons who, in the judgment of the county superintendent and county board, are qualified to give instruction in subjects required to be taught in public elementary schools in the state. The person or persons providing the instruction, upon request of the county superintendent, shall furnish to the county board information and records as may be required, from time to time, with respect to attendance, instruction and progress of pupils enrolled between the entrance age and sixteen years receiving the instruction. The state board shall develop guidelines for the home schooling of special education students including alternative assessment measures to assure that satisfactory academic progress is achieved.

 

Approval option -- subdivision (1) – specifies that:

 

· the county board of education and the county superintendent approve the home instruction program, including the instructor and the place where the instruction takes place.

 

Quoting debramommyof4:

Since she is not willing to read the laws, and I don't remember what state you bare in, but some say if it is not the parent they have to pay and I think be an accredited teacher.

I would tell her either that you can not legally teach someone else's child because you are not a teacher or that if you do take on her dd then it will cost her about 2000 a month.I would only do this because somewhere out is true and she is going to cause your family issues. I have dealt with people who behaved similarly, and I don't do well with confrontion. So it has hurt my family.

Maybe that will scare her off.

Good luck.

 

 

 

 

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No_Difference
by Silver Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 11:56 AM
3 moms liked this

 Thank you everyone :)
I will continue to tell her no until she hears it, listens to it, understands it, and accepts it!
I will avoid the talk of school alltogether so she hopefully gets the hint.
And if by the end of swim season (It's almost over, and it's a huge chunk of patience dedicated to that lol) this is still continuing, I will buck up, roll up my sleeves, and allow my ugly side to get some sun (not that I really want to...but it looks like that's what its going to take).

debramommyof4
by Silver Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 11:58 AM

 I am the exact same.  I blow up and feel bad.  My husband has PTSD but his is better than your husbands, for the most part he can go without meds but he does have triggers that we have to watch for.  I hate when he has episodes so we are extremely careful. 

I hope your nieghbor will step up behind you and help.  Have you tried not answering the door when the bad nieghbor comes around?

On a side note have you heard of the Facebook page Battling Bare?  They are pretty awesome.

Quoting No_Difference:

 I make mine say no for me too lol. However, he has several times with her, and normally she listens the first time, and it's like she's ignoring him and even he's getting frustrated. I try not to push it with him though. He's got PTSD and even with meds, if he gets angry enough, the meds won't do a thing, and I really don't want to handle this and an episode... I'm kinda on my own at this point. I'm going to talk to my other neighbor and see if she can't help be my forceful backing (she's steps in a lot for me to when she sees me drowning in these types of situations with this particular neighbor). 
I could probably be a ton more forceful if I wouldn't get so ill when trying to. I have to get pretty ticked off to finally blow up and then I don't care how rude I can get, but I feel horrible for days afterwards. I've already been getting that queasy feeling because I guess somewhere deep in me, I know thats the only thing that is going to work in the end...

Quoting debramommyof4:

 If you dont want to and do not give up your diploma there is nothing she can do about it.  Yay! I would just continue to say I cant.  I am trying to work on the confrontation thing.  I have my husband say no if someone really is not listening to me.  He has no problems with confrontation.

Quoting No_Difference:

 I avoid confrontation at all costs too, and this is has what has come from it for us so far... We're in WV. If I read everything correctly, provided she gave a copy of her and my (assuming I'd actually agree to homeschool her kid) diploma, and got approval from the county board of ed, then technically I could.  I don't want to...but unfortunatly I think that loop hole exists :/. I would never give up my diploma, and I would totally tell the board of ed that I do not want to, and I'm sure they'd have no problem backing me up...

(1) The instruction shall be in the home of the child or children or at some other place approved by the county board and for a time equal to the instructional term set forth in section forty-five, article five of this chapter. If the request for home instruction is denied by the county board, good and reasonable justification for the denial shall be furnished in writing to the applicant by the county board. The instruction shall be conducted by a person or persons who, in the judgment of the county superintendent and county board, are qualified to give instruction in subjects required to be taught in public elementary schools in the state. The person or persons providing the instruction, upon request of the county superintendent, shall furnish to the county board information and records as may be required, from time to time, with respect to attendance, instruction and progress of pupils enrolled between the entrance age and sixteen years receiving the instruction. The state board shall develop guidelines for the home schooling of special education students including alternative assessment measures to assure that satisfactory academic progress is achieved.

 

Approval option -- subdivision (1) – specifies that:

 

· the county board of education and the county superintendent approve the home instruction program, including the instructor and the place where the instruction takes place.

 

Quoting debramommyof4:

Since she is not willing to read the laws, and I don't remember what state you bare in, but some say if it is not the parent they have to pay and I think be an accredited teacher.

I would tell her either that you can not legally teach someone else's child because you are not a teacher or that if you do take on her dd then it will cost her about 2000 a month.I would only do this because somewhere out is true and she is going to cause your family issues. I have dealt with people who behaved similarly, and I don't do well with confrontion. So it has hurt my family.

Maybe that will scare her off.

Good luck.

 

 

 

 

 

No_Difference
by Silver Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 12:07 PM

 I've even gone as far as sneaking the kids out the back door and pretending we weren't home lol.

After my husband first returned home from his deployment, it was easy to spot his triggers, and he has gotten over some (like light switches not flipped the same way), but now that it's 5 years later, he's gotten so good at internalizing it, that it's hard to see when he's going to blow. I just know he's getting frustrated so it's best to remove him from the equation...

I haven't looked at it yet, because I forgot what it was called...I will go look at it now!! LOL. I heard it was really good :) Thank you!

Quoting debramommyof4:

 I am the exact same.  I blow up and feel bad.  My husband has PTSD but his is better than your husbands, for the most part he can go without meds but he does have triggers that we have to watch for.  I hate when he has episodes so we are extremely careful. 

I hope your nieghbor will step up behind you and help.  Have you tried not answering the door when the bad nieghbor comes around?

On a side note have you heard of the Facebook page Battling Bare?  They are pretty awesome.

Quoting No_Difference:

 I make mine say no for me too lol. However, he has several times with her, and normally she listens the first time, and it's like she's ignoring him and even he's getting frustrated. I try not to push it with him though. He's got PTSD and even with meds, if he gets angry enough, the meds won't do a thing, and I really don't want to handle this and an episode... I'm kinda on my own at this point. I'm going to talk to my other neighbor and see if she can't help be my forceful backing (she's steps in a lot for me to when she sees me drowning in these types of situations with this particular neighbor). 
I could probably be a ton more forceful if I wouldn't get so ill when trying to. I have to get pretty ticked off to finally blow up and then I don't care how rude I can get, but I feel horrible for days afterwards. I've already been getting that queasy feeling because I guess somewhere deep in me, I know thats the only thing that is going to work in the end...

Quoting debramommyof4:

 If you dont want to and do not give up your diploma there is nothing she can do about it.  Yay! I would just continue to say I cant.  I am trying to work on the confrontation thing.  I have my husband say no if someone really is not listening to me.  He has no problems with confrontation.

Quoting No_Difference:

 I avoid confrontation at all costs too, and this is has what has come from it for us so far... We're in WV. If I read everything correctly, provided she gave a copy of her and my (assuming I'd actually agree to homeschool her kid) diploma, and got approval from the county board of ed, then technically I could.  I don't want to...but unfortunatly I think that loop hole exists :/. I would never give up my diploma, and I would totally tell the board of ed that I do not want to, and I'm sure they'd have no problem backing me up...

(1) The instruction shall be in the home of the child or children or at some other place approved by the county board and for a time equal to the instructional term set forth in section forty-five, article five of this chapter. If the request for home instruction is denied by the county board, good and reasonable justification for the denial shall be furnished in writing to the applicant by the county board. The instruction shall be conducted by a person or persons who, in the judgment of the county superintendent and county board, are qualified to give instruction in subjects required to be taught in public elementary schools in the state. The person or persons providing the instruction, upon request of the county superintendent, shall furnish to the county board information and records as may be required, from time to time, with respect to attendance, instruction and progress of pupils enrolled between the entrance age and sixteen years receiving the instruction. The state board shall develop guidelines for the home schooling of special education students including alternative assessment measures to assure that satisfactory academic progress is achieved.

 

Approval option -- subdivision (1) – specifies that:

 

· the county board of education and the county superintendent approve the home instruction program, including the instructor and the place where the instruction takes place.

 

Quoting debramommyof4:

Since she is not willing to read the laws, and I don't remember what state you bare in, but some say if it is not the parent they have to pay and I think be an accredited teacher.

I would tell her either that you can not legally teach someone else's child because you are not a teacher or that if you do take on her dd then it will cost her about 2000 a month.I would only do this because somewhere out is true and she is going to cause your family issues. I have dealt with people who behaved similarly, and I don't do well with confrontion. So it has hurt my family.

Maybe that will scare her off.

Good luck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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mamamedic69
by Deanna on Jul. 10, 2013 at 12:11 PM
I would just say NO and tell her that you are just going to focus on your family and what they need. I would just be very blunt with her and tell her off.

Your daughter seems to like it when she is NOT there and that alone would bring out the mama bear in me :). Good luck!!!


Quoting No_Difference:

 I would prefer her to not be around my kids. I had thought I made it clear that I would NOT watch her kid come next school year...apparently not clear enough? *sigh* The sad thing is, I have said NO so many times in so many ways...
On the way home from practice today, my daughter said she was happy the neighbor's daughter wasn't there...


Quoting mamamedic69:

I would tell her (unless you're a certified teacher) that you CAN NOT homeschool her child!!! She obviously doesn't get the whole homeschooling thing. You should just worry about you children and their education. Plus it sounds like her daughter is a bad example for your kids (behavior etc).

You have enough on your plate and why change your schedule for someone else.

That's just my opinion but I wouldn't want to have my kids around someone who is a bully, steals and lies.

 

debramommyof4
by Silver Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 12:12 PM

 It has been several years with my husband too.  He trys to hide most of it, but crowds and loud booms still are really hard for him, he can hide some of them.  I love the battling bare site.  They are awesome. 

It sucks but I have been known to take my kids upstairs and turn on a movie to keep people from knowing we are home.

Quoting No_Difference:

 I've even gone as far as sneaking the kids out the back door and pretending we weren't home lol.

After my husband first returned home from his deployment, it was easy to spot his triggers, and he has gotten over some (like light switches not flipped the same way), but now that it's 5 years later, he's gotten so good at internalizing it, that it's hard to see when he's going to blow. I just know he's getting frustrated so it's best to remove him from the equation...

I haven't looked at it yet, because I forgot what it was called...I will go look at it now!! LOL. I heard it was really good :) Thank you!

Quoting debramommyof4:

 I am the exact same.  I blow up and feel bad.  My husband has PTSD but his is better than your husbands, for the most part he can go without meds but he does have triggers that we have to watch for.  I hate when he has episodes so we are extremely careful. 

I hope your nieghbor will step up behind you and help.  Have you tried not answering the door when the bad nieghbor comes around?

On a side note have you heard of the Facebook page Battling Bare?  They are pretty awesome.

Quoting No_Difference:

 I make mine say no for me too lol. However, he has several times with her, and normally she listens the first time, and it's like she's ignoring him and even he's getting frustrated. I try not to push it with him though. He's got PTSD and even with meds, if he gets angry enough, the meds won't do a thing, and I really don't want to handle this and an episode... I'm kinda on my own at this point. I'm going to talk to my other neighbor and see if she can't help be my forceful backing (she's steps in a lot for me to when she sees me drowning in these types of situations with this particular neighbor). 
I could probably be a ton more forceful if I wouldn't get so ill when trying to. I have to get pretty ticked off to finally blow up and then I don't care how rude I can get, but I feel horrible for days afterwards. I've already been getting that queasy feeling because I guess somewhere deep in me, I know thats the only thing that is going to work in the end...

Quoting debramommyof4:

 If you dont want to and do not give up your diploma there is nothing she can do about it.  Yay! I would just continue to say I cant.  I am trying to work on the confrontation thing.  I have my husband say no if someone really is not listening to me.  He has no problems with confrontation.

Quoting No_Difference:

 I avoid confrontation at all costs too, and this is has what has come from it for us so far... We're in WV. If I read everything correctly, provided she gave a copy of her and my (assuming I'd actually agree to homeschool her kid) diploma, and got approval from the county board of ed, then technically I could.  I don't want to...but unfortunatly I think that loop hole exists :/. I would never give up my diploma, and I would totally tell the board of ed that I do not want to, and I'm sure they'd have no problem backing me up...

(1) The instruction shall be in the home of the child or children or at some other place approved by the county board and for a time equal to the instructional term set forth in section forty-five, article five of this chapter. If the request for home instruction is denied by the county board, good and reasonable justification for the denial shall be furnished in writing to the applicant by the county board. The instruction shall be conducted by a person or persons who, in the judgment of the county superintendent and county board, are qualified to give instruction in subjects required to be taught in public elementary schools in the state. The person or persons providing the instruction, upon request of the county superintendent, shall furnish to the county board information and records as may be required, from time to time, with respect to attendance, instruction and progress of pupils enrolled between the entrance age and sixteen years receiving the instruction. The state board shall develop guidelines for the home schooling of special education students including alternative assessment measures to assure that satisfactory academic progress is achieved.

 

Approval option -- subdivision (1) – specifies that:

 

· the county board of education and the county superintendent approve the home instruction program, including the instructor and the place where the instruction takes place.

 

Quoting debramommyof4:

Since she is not willing to read the laws, and I don't remember what state you bare in, but some say if it is not the parent they have to pay and I think be an accredited teacher.

I would tell her either that you can not legally teach someone else's child because you are not a teacher or that if you do take on her dd then it will cost her about 2000 a month.I would only do this because somewhere out is true and she is going to cause your family issues. I have dealt with people who behaved similarly, and I don't do well with confrontion. So it has hurt my family.

Maybe that will scare her off.

Good luck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bleacheddecay
by Bronze Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 12:18 PM

I agree with this.


Quoting kmath:

Stop talking to her about it, if she brings it up change the subject.  Refuse to engage her on it at all.  You are not responsible for her kid, she is.  If she doesn't get that, she is an idiot.  Do you think she would leave her DD with you even after you have told her no multiple times?  I would call CPS or the cops if she does that.  I have a hard time dealing with drama mongers and she sounds like one.  Good luck dealing with her.



No_Difference
by Silver Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 12:29 PM

 Crowds are the absolute worst. They are avoided at all costs. I'm amazed that he's been able to go to swim meets, but he made it clear he wasn't going to divisionals (6 teams at our team's tiny pool). I even told him he wasn't invited to go lol.

I liked the Battling Bare site, and hopefully I'll get more of a chance to explore it.
I'm not entirely sure if this is entirely relevant, or if you and your husband would be interested, but the Lost Brigade Project has been awesome for mine. They hold a marksmanship contest for wounded vets, but I'm not entirely sure if it's physical wounds, or if PTSD alone qualifies... They recently had posted something about a soldier who commited suicide with PTSD and the fact he felt abandoned. They pointed out the Lost Bridgade's number one comment each year is the commraderie between particpants, and I can honestly say, I have never seen so many guys who you can tell are tense most of the time, just relax. It's one of the greatest weekends out of the year lol.

Quoting debramommyof4:

 It has been several years with my husband too.  He trys to hide most of it, but crowds and loud booms still are really hard for him, he can hide some of them.  I love the battling bare site.  They are awesome. 

It sucks but I have been known to take my kids upstairs and turn on a movie to keep people from knowing we are home.

Quoting No_Difference:

 I've even gone as far as sneaking the kids out the back door and pretending we weren't home lol.

After my husband first returned home from his deployment, it was easy to spot his triggers, and he has gotten over some (like light switches not flipped the same way), but now that it's 5 years later, he's gotten so good at internalizing it, that it's hard to see when he's going to blow. I just know he's getting frustrated so it's best to remove him from the equation...

I haven't looked at it yet, because I forgot what it was called...I will go look at it now!! LOL. I heard it was really good :) Thank you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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celticdragon77
by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 12:32 PM

Back when my oldest daughter was having issues at school, I wanted another option. I was working on a csa farm at the time - the owners were teachers at a local private school. We were talking about my childs situation and one of the ladys at the farm (overhearing the convo) mentioned homeschooling. I remember that I was so intrigued with the concept - that every time I saw her, I was asking questions. 

I would go home and research and yet talking to a real live homeschooler intriqued me more.

I didn't send my kids to her or go to her house or want her to homeschool my kids...

But I must have been annoying enough because after about 3 Fridays of this, she finally said "I come here to get away from my house, away from homeschooling..." I got the hint and shut up about the topic.  

You have to be firm and set very clear boundaries. It doesn't sound like you like the lady or her kid. Yet, it sounds like she thinks that her and her daughter made friends. So I would just be honest with her. I would rather someone just be straight up with me than secretly have a growing resentment towards me. It just makes fools out of everyone otherwise. You need to rip this bandaid off quickly. It will hurt and then blow over. 

Calling cps or sneaking out your back door... that seems extreme. I would never get to that point with someone. 

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