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I am so offended...advice??

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Last week I wrote a post about believing my youngest is dyslexic.

I researched and researched for hours about it and how to teach her best, specifically in spelling-her reading is not so bad, but her writing and spelling are very hard to read.  I found a program that looked really good, but was close to $300, so I emailed the author just to see if she had any other options or ideas.  Here is what I wrote to her:

Hello Ms. van den Honert,
I was wondering if there are any used copies of Reading from Scratch or if you ever offer any discounts?  I am a new homeschooling mom with a 10 year old daughter with dyslexia.  Growing up, my brother had dyslexia and there wasn’t much they really did.  He now still has a hard time reading and writing, he barely finished high school with a lot of help from our mom, and he dropped out of college soon after starting.  I want better results for my daughter.  This program sounds amazing but since I am no longer working, spending over $200 is just not an option for us.  I wonder if you would even lend a copy out and we could write a review or something?  Or if you have any ideas for us to do this on our own at home, I am an education major so I have a lot of ideas, but none specifically for children with dyslexia.
Anything you can do to help, even just some ideas for at home, would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you for your time!

Debbie


I cannot believe the response I got from her, I am so offended and think this was way out of line..here is her response:

Dear Debbie,

The total price of the Reading from Scratch program is less than $300.  Other methods run into the thousands and don't teach the child to read well.  I strongly suggest that you send your daughter back to public school and get a job.  Your pay can cover the cost of RfS as well as a tutor for three lessons a week of 45 minutes each.  Or you might have a grandparent or nice neighbor, NEITHER DYSLECTIC, who could help out your little girl.  It should only take one school year to get her fixed up. 


Dorothy


So, since I am so offended, of course I am immediately typing an email back.  But I don't want to sound as rude as she did.  So here is what I want to say, can you tell me if you think I am too emotional or if this is a well deserved response?


Dear Dorothy,
I found your reply very rude and unprofessional.  I worked in the public school and my income would then only cover the program and a tutor, that's how poorly support staff is paid.  My daughter was in the public school for five years.  With every meeting and every concern we shared, not a single teacher in that five years suggested she may be dyslexic or need additional help.  
She can read, basically "on level" for her age.  I am more concerned with her education than to throw her back in the system where she was just pushed along.  She will get much better results with me looking out for her best interests than in a class of 25 children.  And I do like to spend time with my children, having her in school all day with an additional 45 minutes three times a week with a tutor would be a lot more "schooling" than one should need.
I am not dyslexic and have a degree in education, I have found some other programs and have educated myself and am fully confident that I can provide her with the skills necessary to be successful in life, even without any overpriced program written by greedy people.

Thank you for the time you took to respond, I would hope you are not so rude to your paying customers.

Some of it is harsh, but I am so offended and this is my immediate reaction.  I'm sure I will tone it down before I send it.  But really?  Is this how people do business??  Everyone else I have emailed or spoken with has been so much more polite!

ETA: I now want to also include something about "getting her fixed up"  I don't think my daughter needs fixing!  She is perfect the way she is, I just want to give her the skills to be able to write a letter without feeling bad she can't spell.  Some of the most important people to our society were dyslexic, we don't need to "fix" them.  I don't even want a program that thinks a special need should be "fixed."
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 1:01 PM
Replies (11-20):
rsrangel
by Bronze Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 1:46 PM
1 mom liked this
Wow! I can't believe that's how she responded to you! That's terrible!
hwblyf
by Bronze Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 2:06 PM
2 moms liked this

I'm basically a chicken when it comes to writing letters.  My belief is that they wrote that, they feel there's nothing wrong with it, they truly believe it, nothing I say or do will change them from being a donkey.  When my car was incredibly/woefully/horribly injured years ago, we ended up having to take it back a couple times to get things fixed right.  The second time the guy working there yelled at my husband for making them fix the car again, and did he know how much he was costing their company (I'm not even sure how that was true, but fixiing it the right way first time out cuts out some of that crap).  They called and asked what they could do, but it really was a matter of losing the business.  I would just keept it short and sweet and explain that the attitude portrayed in her email was sufficient to ensure you'll never use her business.

usmom3
by BJ on Jul. 12, 2013 at 2:12 PM
3 moms liked this

 I was offended for you! That was terrible of her & you are much kinder with your words then I would be. Also no matter how great her stuff is I would never buy it new only used if ever just to know she won't get my money in her pocket!

gratefulgal
by Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 2:15 PM
1 mom liked this

Gosh, I LOVE what you wrote. Her response is UNBELIEVABLE, and we won't do business with her, either!

snowangel1979
by Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 2:19 PM
2 moms liked this

IDK I would put something in there about how youwill not be using her product and you will make sure not to recommend it  just because of how rude and unprofessional she is.

Bluecalm
by Bronze Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 3:03 PM
9 moms liked this
I wouldn't defend myself, or talk about your experience. I'd stick to something about due to her rude and insulting response not only will you not be getting MY business, I will be sharing your letter with all of the homeschoolers I am in contact with.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mem82
by Platinum Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 3:04 PM
3 moms liked this
I would Facebook the sh*t out of that with her tagged. That was a terrible thing to say to someone.
TJandKarasMom
by Debbie on Jul. 12, 2013 at 3:08 PM
I was thinking this too. I don't have to defend or explain myself to someone so rude. But I just always feel like I have to explain myself, lol.


Quoting Bluecalm:

I wouldn't defend myself, or talk about your experience. I'd stick to something about due to her rude and insulting response not only will you not be getting MY business, I will be sharing your letter with all of the homeschoolers I am in contact with.




TJandKarasMom
by Debbie on Jul. 12, 2013 at 3:09 PM
1 mom liked this
I would, but I haven't "come out" to everyone that I am hsing yet! I have to inform my mil and give my resignation at work before I post about it on fb ;)


Quoting mem82:

I would Facebook the sh*t out of that with her tagged. That was a terrible thing to say to someone.

TJandKarasMom
by Debbie on Jul. 12, 2013 at 3:13 PM
You did tell me about it! We are going to try Spell by Color to start, the first year is free. I'm going to just try it for a month or two and see how it's going. If I don't feel like it is helping, we will ditch it and go with Apples and Pears since you recommend it so highly. I'm glad to know you use it with a dyslexic daughter too, and $45 isn't a bad price at all!


Quoting AutymsMommy:

Holy son of a beaver!!!!

Look, did I tell you about Apples and Pears and Dancing Bears?

Seriously - Apples and Pears spelling has been a GODSEND for my dyslexic horrible speller (dd, age 11). It runs $45. It's amazing.

They have a sister reading program (Dancing Bears) if it's necessary, but we just use the spelling program.

Google Apples and Pears Spelling and then have your daughter take the placement test.


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