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I am so offended...advice??

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Last week I wrote a post about believing my youngest is dyslexic.

I researched and researched for hours about it and how to teach her best, specifically in spelling-her reading is not so bad, but her writing and spelling are very hard to read.  I found a program that looked really good, but was close to $300, so I emailed the author just to see if she had any other options or ideas.  Here is what I wrote to her:

Hello Ms. van den Honert,
I was wondering if there are any used copies of Reading from Scratch or if you ever offer any discounts?  I am a new homeschooling mom with a 10 year old daughter with dyslexia.  Growing up, my brother had dyslexia and there wasn’t much they really did.  He now still has a hard time reading and writing, he barely finished high school with a lot of help from our mom, and he dropped out of college soon after starting.  I want better results for my daughter.  This program sounds amazing but since I am no longer working, spending over $200 is just not an option for us.  I wonder if you would even lend a copy out and we could write a review or something?  Or if you have any ideas for us to do this on our own at home, I am an education major so I have a lot of ideas, but none specifically for children with dyslexia.
Anything you can do to help, even just some ideas for at home, would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you for your time!

Debbie


I cannot believe the response I got from her, I am so offended and think this was way out of line..here is her response:

Dear Debbie,

The total price of the Reading from Scratch program is less than $300.  Other methods run into the thousands and don't teach the child to read well.  I strongly suggest that you send your daughter back to public school and get a job.  Your pay can cover the cost of RfS as well as a tutor for three lessons a week of 45 minutes each.  Or you might have a grandparent or nice neighbor, NEITHER DYSLECTIC, who could help out your little girl.  It should only take one school year to get her fixed up. 


Dorothy


So, since I am so offended, of course I am immediately typing an email back.  But I don't want to sound as rude as she did.  So here is what I want to say, can you tell me if you think I am too emotional or if this is a well deserved response?


Dear Dorothy,
I found your reply very rude and unprofessional.  I worked in the public school and my income would then only cover the program and a tutor, that's how poorly support staff is paid.  My daughter was in the public school for five years.  With every meeting and every concern we shared, not a single teacher in that five years suggested she may be dyslexic or need additional help.  
She can read, basically "on level" for her age.  I am more concerned with her education than to throw her back in the system where she was just pushed along.  She will get much better results with me looking out for her best interests than in a class of 25 children.  And I do like to spend time with my children, having her in school all day with an additional 45 minutes three times a week with a tutor would be a lot more "schooling" than one should need.
I am not dyslexic and have a degree in education, I have found some other programs and have educated myself and am fully confident that I can provide her with the skills necessary to be successful in life, even without any overpriced program written by greedy people.

Thank you for the time you took to respond, I would hope you are not so rude to your paying customers.

Some of it is harsh, but I am so offended and this is my immediate reaction.  I'm sure I will tone it down before I send it.  But really?  Is this how people do business??  Everyone else I have emailed or spoken with has been so much more polite!

ETA: I now want to also include something about "getting her fixed up"  I don't think my daughter needs fixing!  She is perfect the way she is, I just want to give her the skills to be able to write a letter without feeling bad she can't spell.  Some of the most important people to our society were dyslexic, we don't need to "fix" them.  I don't even want a program that thinks a special need should be "fixed."
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 1:01 PM
Replies (21-30):
oredeb
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 3:59 PM
2 moms liked this

 ive not read any of the moms responses so this might be already said

but i would take out the even without any overpriced program written by greedy people  part. you dont need to put yourself on her level.  i think the rest of what you said sounds very good,

just a side note, i new a mom that taught dylexic kids with the reading road to writing program, and you can find that used!

oredeb
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 4:00 PM
2 moms liked this

 also if i had a choice of her curr or someone elses i wouldnt chose hers! thanks to her note to you

Bluecalm
by Bronze Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 4:07 PM
1 mom liked this
Me too, but I think that lets the person know they really got to you. You just want to tell her she lost business, not what an awesome person you are.


Quoting TJandKarasMom:

I was thinking this too. I don't have to defend or explain myself to someone so rude. But I just always feel like I have to explain myself, lol.




Quoting Bluecalm:

I wouldn't defend myself, or talk about your experience. I'd stick to something about due to her rude and insulting response not only will you not be getting MY business, I will be sharing your letter with all of the homeschoolers I am in contact with.







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No_Difference
by Silver Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 4:31 PM
2 moms liked this

 ...this is apparently the week for my mind to be blown...
If you ever do decide to blast this on facebook, let me know and I'll be sure to share there too...that response was beyond rude. I will definitely be telling other homeschoolers I know with dyslexic kids to stay clear of this company. Sheesh.  I would agree with oredeb about leaving the overpriced and greedy people out... You don't want to sink to her level.
(I send a copy of a rough draft I know is snippy to myself to get the satisfaction of hitting "send" when emailing volitile people, but then take the snippy out to send it for real lol. )

AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 4:41 PM


I've never heard of spell by color! Sounds FUN!

Quoting TJandKarasMom:

You did tell me about it! We are going to try Spell by Color to start, the first year is free. I'm going to just try it for a month or two and see how it's going. If I don't feel like it is helping, we will ditch it and go with Apples and Pears since you recommend it so highly. I'm glad to know you use it with a dyslexic daughter too, and $45 isn't a bad price at all!


Quoting AutymsMommy:

Holy son of a beaver!!!!

Look, did I tell you about Apples and Pears and Dancing Bears?

Seriously - Apples and Pears spelling has been a GODSEND for my dyslexic horrible speller (dd, age 11). It runs $45. It's amazing.

They have a sister reading program (Dancing Bears) if it's necessary, but we just use the spelling program.

Google Apples and Pears Spelling and then have your daughter take the placement test.




I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee














TJandKarasMom
by Debbie on Jul. 12, 2013 at 5:02 PM

http://jettedgames.com/spelling.htm

She created it as an alternative to All About Spelling.  I made my own letter tiles for extra practice and color coded them.  I think with my extra effort we can be succesful with this, I hope!  If not, maybe Apples and Pears will be a nice Christmas present from my parents ;)  (for me or Kara, lol)


Quoting AutymsMommy:


I've never heard of spell by color! Sounds FUN!

Quoting TJandKarasMom:

You did tell me about it! We are going to try Spell by Color to start, the first year is free. I'm going to just try it for a month or two and see how it's going. If I don't feel like it is helping, we will ditch it and go with Apples and Pears since you recommend it so highly. I'm glad to know you use it with a dyslexic daughter too, and $45 isn't a bad price at all!


Quoting AutymsMommy:

Holy son of a beaver!!!!

Look, did I tell you about Apples and Pears and Dancing Bears?

Seriously - Apples and Pears spelling has been a GODSEND for my dyslexic horrible speller (dd, age 11). It runs $45. It's amazing.

They have a sister reading program (Dancing Bears) if it's necessary, but we just use the spelling program.

Google Apples and Pears Spelling and then have your daughter take the placement test.






TJandKarasMom
by Debbie on Jul. 12, 2013 at 5:04 PM

I figured that was a bit much, but I was so insulted by her response!  But you are right, it would be sinking to her level.  That is why I posted here first, I have gotten good at waiting to hit send!


Quoting oredeb:

 ive not read any of the moms responses so this might be already said

but i would take out the even without any overpriced program written by greedy people  part. you dont need to put yourself on her level.  i think the rest of what you said sounds very good,

just a side note, i new a mom that taught dylexic kids with the reading road to writing program, and you can find that used!



TJandKarasMom
by Debbie on Jul. 12, 2013 at 5:06 PM
2 moms liked this

I plan on sharing lots of things once I let the major people in our lives know what the plan is.  Then I will become friends with anyone on here that wants to be friends and I will post all about hsing ;)


Quoting No_Difference:

 ...this is apparently the week for my mind to be blown...
If you ever do decide to blast this on facebook, let me know and I'll be sure to share there too...that response was beyond rude. I will definitely be telling other homeschoolers I know with dyslexic kids to stay clear of this company. Sheesh.  I would agree with oredeb about leaving the overpriced and greedy people out... You don't want to sink to her level.
(I send a copy of a rough draft I know is snippy to myself to get the satisfaction of hitting "send" when emailing volitile people, but then take the snippy out to send it for real lol. )



TJandKarasMom
by Debbie on Jul. 12, 2013 at 5:10 PM
3 moms liked this

New response:

Dear Dorothy,

Unfortunately, due to your rude and unprofessional response, you will not be getting any of my future business should our budget change.  And I will be sharing your opinion with all of the homeschoolers and teachers I am in contact with.


Thoughts? (the program can also be used in schools, and I know lots of teachers since I worked in the school and was working on my MEd!)


Quoting Bluecalm:

Me too, but I think that lets the person know they really got to you. You just want to tell her she lost business, not what an awesome person you are.


Quoting TJandKarasMom:

I was thinking this too. I don't have to defend or explain myself to someone so rude. But I just always feel like I have to explain myself, lol.




Quoting Bluecalm:

I wouldn't defend myself, or talk about your experience. I'd stick to something about due to her rude and insulting response not only will you not be getting MY business, I will be sharing your letter with all of the homeschoolers I am in contact with.









bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 5:33 PM
1 mom liked this

 Wow!  That is one horrid lady!!  I'm just speechless and offended for you!!  I think the short and pointed response is the best one.  Don't "justify yourself" to her and don't sink to her level.  BUT do let her know that you will never recommend her product and you will be sharing her horrible views with the homeschoolers you know!

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