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7 Reasons I'd Never Homeschool My Teen

Stir article I am posting for discussion.

7 Reasons I'd Never Homeschool My Teen

by Ericka Sóuter

booksI recently came across the story of a Tesca Fitzgerald, who, at 12, is getting ready to start college and plans to be working her Ph.D. by age 16. Her proud mother credited her daughter's genius to the fact that she was homeschooled. Amazing, right? But I have to tell you, that is as impressive as it is crazy. It made me wonder if I could homeschool my teen or pre-teen. With the cost of private school in New York City, the idea is an attractive one. But I quickly came to my senses and here's why. Check out the 7 reasons I'd never home school my teen.

  1. I could probably get him through algebra and geometry, but we'd both need a tutor when it came to calculus. Sure, I took it in high school but it was in one ear and out the other as soon as the final was finished.
  2. I can't imagine his first intense classroom setting being a college lecture. Talk about intimidating.
  3. We'd get sick of each other by week four two. 
  4. When he complains about his bitchy teacher, he'll be talking about me.
  5. When I complain about my crappy job, I'll be talking about him.
  6. I can't teach him the same survival instincts you learn navigating your way though mean girls, jocks, geeks, or whichever else cliques exist these days.
  7. I'm not a trained educator. Parents love to complain about their kids' teachers but it's a tough job. Probably one of the toughest. It's a combo of instructor, counselor, soother, conflict resolution expert, and motivator. How exhausting is that?!

I tip my hat to all those moms and dads who successfully homeschool their children. It's clearly not something every parent can do.

Do you think you could homeschool your teen?

Are you homeschooling your teen? Do you intend to homeschool when your children are teens?

by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 9:11 AM
Replies (21-30):
Sister_Someone
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 4:38 PM


Re posting in a homeschooling forum, I could give you a lot of reasons, but the one that was true in the moment of posting is that I just plain didn't realize it was a homeschooling forum. I got here through the all active posts dash and didn't think of looking to which forum it belongs. I assumed it was the Mom Confessions board based on the title of the post (reason #541538415 why that word starts with ASS-) I don't make a habit of starting fights or giving my opinion where unsolicited and I probably wouldn't have replied at all if I'd bothered to read the board title.

Seen as the the point of view you expressed in your reply is so radically different from my own and I have the impression that you won't change your mind (just like I won't change mine), could we agree to disagree and I'll make sure to stop putting my foot in my mouth on the wrong board?

Quoting swim-mom72:

 I am completely baffled as to why you would post this in a homeschooling chat forum??

There is no one MORE qualified than me to teach my children. I am the ONE person who will always have their best interest in mind when I choose their curriculum. And my husband and I are better qualified to make decisions about the future of our children because we are only thinking of them, not a classroom or school full of other kids, just ours.

My kids would be more subject to "damage" by attending a school than if they are home with me. Here, they are getting an education that was hand selected for their strengths and weaknesses. They can work at heir own pace and set their own goals; ones that are not state mandated according to the average student. They are able to enjoy more than one field trip a year. They are not exposed to sexual immorality, drugs and other dangers on a daily basis. And they have my undivided attention.

Yes, I homeschool 2 teenagers. And I am proud to be able to do so.

Quoting Sister_Someone:

#7 is the reason why I think homeschooling is just wrong. I wouldn't let someone unqualified or underqualified even step a foot into the lab where I work in fear of them damaging something, so obviously I won't pretend I can teach when I'm not qualified to be an educator.





debramommyof4
by Silver Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 4:53 PM
4 moms liked this
I saw this today. I do not understand why the bloggers on the stir can not do any research before they make a post. I will never understand putting stupid on the internet and being proud of it.
swim-mom72
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 5:30 PM
1 mom liked this

 I appreciate your honesty and candor.

"Agreeing to disagree" usually only works when both sides have ehausted all efforts at supporting their point of view. That is not the case here. But, I certainly can understand that you are undiscerning in matters of homeschooling.

I am an educated woman. My husband is an educated man. Both of my children have spent time in the public school system. So, I believe that I have a very clear idea of what does and does not work for my family. But, I would never try to decide that for another person's family. And when I hear people make blanket statements like "I believe homeschooling is wrong," it upsets me. So, I appologize for sounding confrontational, which I am not.


Quoting Sister_Someone:

 

Re posting in a homeschooling forum, I could give you a lot of reasons, but the one that was true in the moment of posting is that I just plain didn't realize it was a homeschooling forum. I got here through the all active posts dash and didn't think of looking to which forum it belongs. I assumed it was the Mom Confessions board based on the title of the post (reason #541538415 why that word starts with ASS-) I don't make a habit of starting fights or giving my opinion where unsolicited and I probably wouldn't have replied at all if I'd bothered to read the board title.

Seen as the the point of view you expressed in your reply is so radically different from my own and I have the impression that you won't change your mind (just like I won't change mine), could we agree to disagree and I'll make sure to stop putting my foot in my mouth on the wrong board?

Quoting swim-mom72:

 I am completely baffled as to why you would post this in a homeschooling chat forum??

There is no one MORE qualified than me to teach my children. I am the ONE person who will always have their best interest in mind when I choose their curriculum. And my husband and I are better qualified to make decisions about the future of our children because we are only thinking of them, not a classroom or school full of other kids, just ours.

My kids would be more subject to "damage" by attending a school than if they are home with me. Here, they are getting an education that was hand selected for their strengths and weaknesses. They can work at heir own pace and set their own goals; ones that are not state mandated according to the average student. They are able to enjoy more than one field trip a year. They are not exposed to sexual immorality, drugs and other dangers on a daily basis. And they have my undivided attention.

Yes, I homeschool 2 teenagers. And I am proud to be able to do so.

Quoting Sister_Someone:

#7 is the reason why I think homeschooling is just wrong. I wouldn't let someone unqualified or underqualified even step a foot into the lab where I work in fear of them damaging something, so obviously I won't pretend I can teach when I'm not qualified to be an educator.

 

 

 

 


 

bren_darlene
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 6:08 PM
2 moms liked this

 All 15 of our children were home educated all the way through (well I am on my last now. She is 15). So yes, I think I can homeschool. lol. Plus the teenage years can be so much fun and the kids such a blessing to be around. Could never understand people having children then not wanting or be able to stand being with them all the time.

 I am a stay at home,  home educating, non-vaxingmother to many children :)  And a very happy wife to a wonderful man!!!

mem82
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 6:22 PM
Lol I have done the exact same thing elsewhere. 8) thanks

Quoting Sister_Someone:


Re posting in a homeschooling forum, I could give you a lot of reasons, but the one that was true in the moment of posting is that I just plain didn't realize it was a homeschooling forum. I got here through the all active posts dash and didn't think of looking to which forum it belongs. I assumed it was the Mom Confessions board based on the title of the post (reason #541538415 why that word starts with ASS-) I don't make a habit of starting fights or giving my opinion where unsolicited and I probably wouldn't have replied at all if I'd bothered to read the board title.

Seen as the the point of view you expressed in your reply is so radically different from my own and I have the impression that you won't change your mind (just like I won't change mine), could we agree to disagree and I'll make sure to stop putting my foot in my mouth on the wrong board?


Quoting swim-mom72:

 I am completely baffled as to why you would post this in a homeschooling chat forum??


There is no one MORE qualified than me to teach my children. I am the ONE person who will always have their best interest in mind when I choose their curriculum. And my husband and I are better qualified to make decisions about the future of our children because we are only thinking of them, not a classroom or school full of other kids, just ours.


My kids would be more subject to "damage" by attending a school than if they are home with me. Here, they are getting an education that was hand selected for their strengths and weaknesses. They can work at heir own pace and set their own goals; ones that are not state mandated according to the average student. They are able to enjoy more than one field trip a year. They are not exposed to sexual immorality, drugs and other dangers on a daily basis. And they have my undivided attention.


Yes, I homeschool 2 teenagers. And I am proud to be able to do so.


Quoting Sister_Someone:


#7 is the reason why I think homeschooling is just wrong. I wouldn't let someone unqualified or underqualified even step a foot into the lab where I work in fear of them damaging something, so obviously I won't pretend I can teach when I'm not qualified to be an educator.








Knightquester
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:24 PM
2 moms liked this

Because she's a drama mamma, the #1 reason why I've not replied directly to the poster.  She lacks knowledge as to what homeschooling is, or she wouldn't sound so very ignorant.

She came into this group, not even a part of it, in hope to ramp up drama by upsetting those that do homeschool.  I'd just tune her out and /ignore

Quoting swim-mom72:

 I am completely baffled as to why you would post this in a homeschooling chat forum??

There is no one MORE qualified than me to teach my children. I am the ONE person who will always have their best interest in mind when I choose their curriculum. And my husband and I are better qualified to make decisions about the future of our children because we are only thinking of them, not a classroom or school full of other kids, just ours.

My kids would be more subject to "damage" by attending a school than if they are home with me. Here, they are getting an education that was hand selected for their strengths and weaknesses. They can work at heir own pace and set their own goals; ones that are not state mandated according to the average student. They are able to enjoy more than one field trip a year. They are not exposed to sexual immorality, drugs and other dangers on a daily basis. And they have my undivided attention.

Yes, I homeschool 2 teenagers. And I am proud to be able to do so.

Quoting Sister_Someone:

#7 is the reason why I think homeschooling is just wrong. I wouldn't let someone unqualified or underqualified even step a foot into the lab where I work in fear of them damaging something, so obviously I won't pretend I can teach when I'm not qualified to be an educator.





AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:45 PM
3 moms liked this

I appreciate that you realized you posted in the wrong forum, lol!

Now, just because I'm not one to let a chance like this slide by, I'll reply to yours :P

Am I to assume that you hired a nutritionist to teach you how to feed your child? An OT to teach your child how to tie his shoes? A speech therapist to teach them to talk? A teacher to instruct them in the ABC song or how to count to 10? Do you hire a psychologist every time you hit an emotional roadblock with your child? I imagine you didn't. You've been teaching your child since birth; it's only society that says once they hit the ripe old age of 5 or 6 that you are no longer adequate to do so. What is so magical about that age, that if you knew your own child well enough to teach them THOSE things - it isn't enough now?

We have many former school teachers in our local co-op. We have some CURRENT school teachers on an online homeschooling forum that I belong to (with thousands of members) who are actively homeschooling or afterschooling their own children (or they no longer work in the field, but their husband does, etc). Oddly enough, they all believe that we (those of us with no teaching degree) have the ability to educate OUR OWN children; the general consensus is that going to school to learn to teach teaches one how to teach 30 different children, with 30 different home lives and learning styles, a differentiated curriculum and how to implement protocol and policy (and how to navigate those things)... almost every single one says that their training for "teaching" did nothing to prepare them to teach their own children, one on one.

Many of us are future/college oriented. Many of us, even without high school aged children as yet, are already looking toward the day that we may have to outsource (to a tutor or to a co-op with area specific expert teachers) a subject or two (mine will likely be science, lol). I would never leave my child to linger and under perform and I well recognize my own limitations. Most of us do. Don't underestimate the whole. Your reply reads as though you've met some less than savory homeschool types; you also read as intelligent enough to KNOW that you shouldn't judge a whole by the few you've seen/met.


Quoting Sister_Someone:

#7 is the reason why I think homeschooling is just wrong. I wouldn't let someone unqualified or underqualified even step a foot into the lab where I work in fear of them damaging something, so obviously I won't pretend I can teach when I'm not qualified to be an educator.



I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee














Sister_Someone
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:28 PM


Right, I figured it might be for the best to skip over the whole part with trying to make our points and go straight to the agreeing to disagree, which is how said point-proving would have most likely ended, since I don't think it's very likely either of us will change our opinion on the matter. :))

I honestly am sorry if I upset you, though. I should have voiced my opinion more delicately.

Quoting swim-mom72:

 I appreciate your honesty and candor.

"Agreeing to disagree" usually only works when both sides have ehausted all efforts at supporting their point of view. That is not the case here. But, I certainly can understand that you are undiscerning in matters of homeschooling.

I am an educated woman. My husband is an educated man. Both of my children have spent time in the public school system. So, I believe that I have a very clear idea of what does and does not work for my family. But, I would never try to decide that for another person's family. And when I hear people make blanket statements like "I believe homeschooling is wrong," it upsets me. So, I appologize for sounding confrontational, which I am not.


Quoting Sister_Someone:


Re posting in a homeschooling forum, I could give you a lot of reasons, but the one that was true in the moment of posting is that I just plain didn't realize it was a homeschooling forum. I got here through the all active posts dash and didn't think of looking to which forum it belongs. I assumed it was the Mom Confessions board based on the title of the post (reason #541538415 why that word starts with ASS-) I don't make a habit of starting fights or giving my opinion where unsolicited and I probably wouldn't have replied at all if I'd bothered to read the board title.

Seen as the the point of view you expressed in your reply is so radically different from my own and I have the impression that you won't change your mind (just like I won't change mine), could we agree to disagree and I'll make sure to stop putting my foot in my mouth on the wrong board?

Quoting swim-mom72:

 I am completely baffled as to why you would post this in a homeschooling chat forum??

There is no one MORE qualified than me to teach my children. I am the ONE person who will always have their best interest in mind when I choose their curriculum. And my husband and I are better qualified to make decisions about the future of our children because we are only thinking of them, not a classroom or school full of other kids, just ours.

My kids would be more subject to "damage" by attending a school than if they are home with me. Here, they are getting an education that was hand selected for their strengths and weaknesses. They can work at heir own pace and set their own goals; ones that are not state mandated according to the average student. They are able to enjoy more than one field trip a year. They are not exposed to sexual immorality, drugs and other dangers on a daily basis. And they have my undivided attention.

Yes, I homeschool 2 teenagers. And I am proud to be able to do so.

Quoting Sister_Someone:

#7 is the reason why I think homeschooling is just wrong. I wouldn't let someone unqualified or underqualified even step a foot into the lab where I work in fear of them damaging something, so obviously I won't pretend I can teach when I'm not qualified to be an educator.









Sister_Someone
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:44 PM


If you are going to call me names in public, would you please have the courtesy to address me directly?Thank you.

Quoting Knightquester:

Because she's a drama mamma, the #1 reason why I've not replied directly to the poster.  She lacks knowledge as to what homeschooling is, or she wouldn't sound so very ignorant.

She came into this group, not even a part of it, in hope to ramp up drama by upsetting those that do homeschool.  I'd just tune her out and /ignore

Quoting swim-mom72:

 I am completely baffled as to why you would post this in a homeschooling chat forum??

There is no one MORE qualified than me to teach my children. I am the ONE person who will always have their best interest in mind when I choose their curriculum. And my husband and I are better qualified to make decisions about the future of our children because we are only thinking of them, not a classroom or school full of other kids, just ours.

My kids would be more subject to "damage" by attending a school than if they are home with me. Here, they are getting an education that was hand selected for their strengths and weaknesses. They can work at heir own pace and set their own goals; ones that are not state mandated according to the average student. They are able to enjoy more than one field trip a year. They are not exposed to sexual immorality, drugs and other dangers on a daily basis. And they have my undivided attention.

Yes, I homeschool 2 teenagers. And I am proud to be able to do so.

Quoting Sister_Someone:

#7 is the reason why I think homeschooling is just wrong. I wouldn't let someone unqualified or underqualified even step a foot into the lab where I work in fear of them damaging something, so obviously I won't pretend I can teach when I'm not qualified to be an educator.







Sister_Someone
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 9:38 PM

No problem, I'm all for educated and respectful discussion. :)

Less than savory homeschool types is a great phrase! An understatement of the century, too, as I have actually never personally encountered a case of homeschooling gone right, (which, of course, is not to say it's universally bad either), but I still love the phrase. 

Since the title of this post, the thing that got me into this in the first place, says 7 Reasons I'd Never Homeschool My TEEN, I wasn't even getting into homeschooling smaller children in my original reply. I have absolutely no problem with homeschooling children up to a certain point, unless you're teaching your children to behave like 99% of homeschooled children I personally know. If your reply is anything to go by, I have no reason to believe you are, so I'm just going to reiterate that my point had nothing to do with younger children and leave it at that.

That said, I don't understand homeschooling teens. To get this out of the way first, I do admit that I rushed into forming an opinion on quality of the education obtained through homeschooling without doing very deep research on the subject. Therefore, I can understand wanting to continue homeschooling your teen through junior high and high school if you've successfuly done it up to that point, but I also firmly believe that high school is a life experience no person should miss. That's the "wrongI was talking about in my original reply. I think that more than just providing children with education, high school is life in small-scale. How are children going to learn to put up with mean bosses or coworkers ready to stab them in the back unless they get limited exposure to such situations in a conventional school? 

And to end on a lighter note, I'm a scientist. :P Ever get stuck on telling a plant cell from an animal cell, I'll know the answer. ;-)

Quoting AutymsMommy:

I appreciate that you realized you posted in the wrong forum, lol!

Now, just because I'm not one to let a chance like this slide by, I'll reply to yours :P

Am I to assume that you hired a nutritionist to teach you how to feed your child? An OT to teach your child how to tie his shoes? A speech therapist to teach them to talk? A teacher to instruct them in the ABC song or how to count to 10? Do you hire a psychologist every time you hit an emotional roadblock with your child? I imagine you didn't. You've been teaching your child since birth; it's only society that says once they hit the ripe old age of 5 or 6 that you are no longer adequate to do so. What is so magical about that age, that if you knew your own child well enough to teach them THOSE things - it isn't enough now?

We have many former school teachers in our local co-op. We have some CURRENT school teachers on an online homeschooling forum that I belong to (with thousands of members) who are actively homeschooling or afterschooling their own children (or they no longer work in the field, but their husband does, etc). Oddly enough, they all believe that we (those of us with no teaching degree) have the ability to educate OUR OWN children; the general consensus is that going to school to learn to teach teaches one how to teach 30 different children, with 30 different home lives and learning styles, a differentiated curriculum and how to implement protocol and policy (and how to navigate those things)... almost every single one says that their training for "teaching" did nothing to prepare them to teach their own children, one on one.

Many of us are future/college oriented. Many of us, even without high school aged children as yet, are already looking toward the day that we may have to outsource (to a tutor or to a co-op with area specific expert teachers) a subject or two (mine will likely be science, lol). I would never leave my child to linger and under perform and I well recognize my own limitations. Most of us do. Don't underestimate the whole. Your reply reads as though you've met some less than savory homeschool types; you also read as intelligent enough to KNOW that you shouldn't judge a whole by the few you've seen/met.


Quoting Sister_Someone:

#7 is the reason why I think homeschooling is just wrong. I wouldn't let someone unqualified or underqualified even step a foot into the lab where I work in fear of them damaging something, so obviously I won't pretend I can teach when I'm not qualified to be an educator.





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