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Going crazy and school hasnt even started yet... HELP!!!

Posted by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 11:47 AM
  • 22 Replies
My dd is 6 she will be starting first grade in Aug she's makin me crazy! It's like every time I ask her to do something she just says "I don't want to" I tell her I didn't ask and that she needs to do it but it's excuse after excuse. She's 6 what the neck I thought I had a few years before she started this crap. Today I asked her to get the clothes from her room and mine into the laundry room so I can do laundry while I clean the kitchen. "I don't want to it's your room" yes it is my room but a lot of the clothes in my room are theirs because their room doesn't have enough room for a dresser so their clothes are in my room. I also clean fold and put away them all. Is it too much that I'm asking of her? I know she's 6 but it's not hard.

Also does anyone have an alternative to saying "everything is actually mine and daddy's till your 18 or have a job to buy your own stuff" I hate that I feel like it just makes her wish for the day she's 18 and I want her to enjoy being a kid. But some times she's mean with what's "hers".

I'm on edge with this kid and the people I know always say to take everything away or spank her or make her stay on her bed and none of that works she will come out smiling then in just a few minutes be rite back at it.

Thank you for reading and any thoughts or suggestions you might have.
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 11:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mem82
by Platinum Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 12:00 PM
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Hm, from my point of view stop having a discussion with her. It's back talk. You tell her to do something, she needs to do so without sass. I would say punish her by making it clear she isn't getting in trouble for not wanting to do something, she is in trouble for the sass. Make it quick. If she back talks, immediately send her to the corner. Do NOT engage about whose clothes or responsibility is whose. She is a child and she is to obey. She doesn't deserve to have reasons why. That sounds mean but any response from you is giving her power. After she leaves the corner, it's back to the laundry. Never let her get away with not doing as told even if she spends all morning in the corner. It will take a week but it works.
mem82
by Platinum Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 12:02 PM
1 mom liked this
Also, be sure to give her her chores in small chunks. Say, 'go get your clothes, pkease'. When she has then say, 'please get mine so they can be washed too.'
mybabiesmyheart
by Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 12:05 PM
Ok I will try. That's probably my biggest problem is she talks back and we go back and forth intil I'm so fed up I'm like forget it just go to your room. Then I'm angry and so is she.
mem82
by Platinum Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 12:05 PM
2 moms liked this
She wants your anger, she wants your attention and she wants her way. Remember to give her neither. Do remember to praise alllll the little things. If she says please thank her for being polite. If she puts her cup in the sink, thank her. Positives should be reinforcing all the good behavior especially why you retrain the sass side. 8)
mem82
by Platinum Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 12:06 PM
Lol that happens to all of us.

Quoting mybabiesmyheart:

Ok I will try. That's probably my biggest problem is she talks back and we go back and forth intil I'm so fed up I'm like forget it just go to your room. Then I'm angry and so is she.
mybabiesmyheart
by Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 12:11 PM
1 mom liked this
Lol I might need to add you to my friends list!!
Knightquester
by Bronze Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 12:18 PM
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She sounds like my eldest and for the most part I didn't argue back or feed into it, depending on what she was saying I would explain once, and then expect she got it from then on.  I don't think I ever have used the my house my rules thing, so no suggestions in that department.

When she starts the not wanting to I would let her know that you didn't ask, but that doing things you don't want to is part of life.  That you don't always feel like doing her laundry, her dinners and all the things you do, but that since you all live under the same roof you all help take care of the house and family together.

I would also remind her that you're her mother and an authority figure, and that she'll always have somebody telling her things she doesn't want to do for the rest of her life.  She'll have the boss at the job she'll need to make money to pay for her basic necessities like food, water, shelter and such, to the college professor that makes her write papers on subjects she doesn't care about, and learn material she dislikes.  No matter where she goes or what she does she'll have the cops that make sure you don't speed, jaywalk, assault, vandalize or do anything else that is unacceptable in society.

I'd just remind her that those who are authority figures should always be respected, and if she told a cop who told her to get out of her car that she didn't want to, then she'd be forcibly removed from that car, and more than likely placed in jail if she fought him hard enough on it because there are consequences to questioning and fighting authority figures who are in charge.  Then I'd add that if she says she doesn't want to anymore, you'll add more chores to her list, because that's her consequences to disrespecting you, the authority figure.

In any case, that's just one phase out of many you have to look forward to, my eldest grew out of that one quickly enough and really as hard as she's been out of all the kids I have, I wouldn't trade her for anything.  She's just blossomed into a wonderful young lady, and I am glad I stuck with her and worked hard on her all these years.

mybabiesmyheart
by Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 12:28 PM
Lol sorry that last part sounds like you had a choice to keep her or throw her back! I love my daughter desperately. She and her sister are my world! I do understand some of that but telling her about the cops and everything would be a bit much for her. I once told her that the candles were like poison and that they smell like yummy food but that they are like poison and could kill someone if they drank it.... She drank an entire glass of water then sat in the bathroom screaming "I don't want to die" it turned out while I had my back turned she got some wax on the tip of her finger and ate it... It took me a few hours to convince her that she was fine and a tiny drop wouldn't hurt her. She's a very extreme kid.
But some of that does make sense and I will try to use some suggestions! Thank you!
Bleacheddecay
by Bronze Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 12:43 PM
1 mom liked this

This.


Quoting mem82:

She wants your anger, she wants your attention and she wants her way. Remember to give her neither. Do remember to praise alllll the little things. If she says please thank her for being polite. If she puts her cup in the sink, thank her. Positives should be reinforcing all the good behavior especially why you retrain the sass side. 8)



usmom3
by BJ on Jul. 23, 2013 at 1:40 PM

 Model the behavior you wish to see in her! If you want her to help around the house you need to be willing to help her every time she asks with no exceptions. I know that sounds crazy but it works! When I help my children with all that they ask of me I find them more willing to help me! If you want her to speak respectfully to you then you need to speak that way to her! Children learn how to treat others by the way they are treated not the way you tell them to treat others!

In our house the children have their property & then there is community property (TV, computers, game systems etc..) & My Husband & mines property that the children can use with permission(our tablets & hand held gaming systems). We do not force them to share their property, they do have to share community property because it is for everyone. If they are abusing their own property we just gently remind them that if it gets broken we will not help them replace it, that they will have to come up with the money on their own. If they abuse the community property they no longer have the privilege of using it. If they abuse our personal property then we take it back just like we would if anyone else borrowed it & abused it. They are also expected to pay for the repairs or replacement for anything that they break or damage that is community property or another persons property, just like we would expect an adult to take responsibility for those things! 

 

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