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How much should a 6 year old socialize alone?

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We're in the middle of the evaluation on my 6 year old with the psychologist who doesn't like hsing. She seems hung up on him not going out and doing things alone. She sent more paperwork to fill out, a lot about him being out in the community and now I'm second guessing myself. He just finished Kindergarten and attended the feeder school to the school where I taught which was 45 minutes from home so any playdates had to be arranged by the moms and we usually went to the zoo or something. He plays at the park regularly and has gone swimming 3-4 times a week this summer where he plays with whoever is there, no making friends or exchanging numbers. The form asked what clubs he belongs to and how often he goes. He went to Bible Club at church every week last year but they cut out the younger kids' program. He goes to Children's Church each Sunday. He also just got a part in the church musical so he'll have practices. We just joined several hs groups in this area and he'll be going to a weekly meetup at the playground plus field trips but I'll be with him. Even if he got into Cub Scouts, a parent has to attend the meetings. Am I doing something wrong?

by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 10:08 AM
Replies (11-20):
coala
by Silver Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 1:26 PM

Your son is getting more time socializing than my kids are getting.  I think my kids get plenty BTW.  They are hanging with friends 2-3 times a week and we go roller skating on the weekends.  I have to pick my 7 yo up from her new BFF's house in just a little bit.  She spent 2 nights there.  I think you are doing great.  Don't let this woman make you feel like you are doing a bad job b/c your not.  You are giving him plenty of opportunities and he is growing as a person b/c of that.

Knightquester
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 1:59 PM

You're doing way more than I did when my kids were that young.  I think the psychologist is just against homeschooling and trying to blame that instead of helping your son.  Is there any way you can switch doctors or places you're going to?

I know when my youngest daughter was being diagnosed with autism the doctors really ragged on homeschooling.  It took me reminding them of how little interaction she did get when she was in public school and what she does now.  That her siblings don't have the same issues she has socially and that all of my kids do far more than their public schooled friends socially speaking.  The doctors of course spun it from worried about her socially to concerned we're missing out on valuable services the public school provides.  Their parting message as I left with their diagnosis of my daughter was that I should put her in public school for those services.  I felt horrible and it took me looking into just what the public schools offer for me to realize just how beneficial our homeschooling is for my daughter.  We still get those services through our insurance, but they are on our terms and if I don't like who is providing them to us, I can switch to a better place that offers the same services.

Go with your gut, do what you feel is right and don't let others sway you.  If the doctors aren't temporary (like the ones that diagnosed my daughters were for us) then try to find other therapist to aide your son if you can, or see if you can take the issue of them being biased and against homeschooling up with their supervisors.  Your son does do a lot more than most public schoolers I know.  I know many that spend their entire summer almost entirely in pajamas, watching television and playing video games.  Remind them of how the real world is and that most GOOD parents regardless of how their child is schooled isn't going to let a six year old run the neighborhood or go off by themselves.

Good luck, I hope things get better :-)

kirbymom
by Sonja on Jul. 30, 2013 at 3:05 PM
Holy Cow! Your boy is just fine in every way, including socialization. Please, Do Not let this woman intimidate you. For that is all she is doing at the moment. She has no idea what type of people you and your family are and so she is just gathering information from you so that she can make an assessment of you and your son psychological state. She was taught to push the things she is pushing because she was taught that those things are what all families should be judged by in regards to being just like everyone else. And you know something? It is just a bunch of hooey phooey tripe. Plain and simple.
You are not doing anything wrong!!!!!!
You are the mother and you are the one who has been there with your son and KNOW what he needs a helluva lot more than she could ever even hope to imagine from here to eternity!!!

Let me give you some food for thought .....
Does this woman have children of her own? Us she willing to put her own child(ren) through the same psychological rigamorole that she puts every other person through to determine whether they are good parents?
If this woman does indeed have children but she is not willing to live by the same standards as she try's to have all of her clients live by, then she is not worth the salt her degree is made from. And you should just let most of what she says go in one ear and out the other.
Bluecalm
by Bronze Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 3:37 PM
She does have kids, two boys the same age as mine. I think she's focusing too much on the hs issue because we haven't even really started. He was in ps last year. She suggested sending him to a private school instead of hs.


Quoting kirbymom:

Holy Cow! Your boy is just fine in every way, including socialization. Please, Do Not let this woman intimidate you. For that is all she is doing at the moment. She has no idea what type of people you and your family are and so she is just gathering information from you so that she can make an assessment of you and your son psychological state. She was taught to push the things she is pushing because she was taught that those things are what all families should be judged by in regards to being just like everyone else. And you know something? It is just a bunch of hooey phooey tripe. Plain and simple.

You are not doing anything wrong!!!!!!

You are the mother and you are the one who has been there with your son and KNOW what he needs a helluva lot more than she could ever even hope to imagine from here to eternity!!!



Let me give you some food for thought .....

Does this woman have children of her own? Us she willing to put her own child(ren) through the same psychological rigamorole that she puts every other person through to determine whether they are good parents?

If this woman does indeed have children but she is not willing to live by the same standards as she try's to have all of her clients live by, then she is not worth the salt her degree is made from. And you should just let most of what she says go in one ear and out the other.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
J9Mommy
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 3:39 PM
1 mom liked this

I think your psychologist is the problem....dump her !

I would not take your child to someone who belittles you like that. How do you expect her to make a fair evaluation when she is already pre-judging ? !

jwhit8791
by Jessica on Jul. 30, 2013 at 3:49 PM
1 mom liked this

I have a 6yo son and I don't think that he has ever gone anywhere without me.  Like he went to VBS last year and was in his classes by himself, but I was on the premises (in the nursery with my younger kids).  I think that is a little young still to be going off on their own........with the way things are today.

kirbymom
by Sonja on Jul. 30, 2013 at 4:00 PM
Well, at least she has some parenting experience. That is a positive to her favor. But, people in her field are taught that self reliance is a thing of the past and we should rely on outside influences as that is a positive influence on parenting styles. As you know already, homeschooling is still thought of as just coming out of the dark ages type of thought process and how could it possibly be of any positive benefit to anyone if you are not relying on a public system that can be there to monitor your every move in case you fail or make a slightly off kilter decision???!!! Even if she were to disagree with your decision to homeschool, that has nothing to do with her advising you to the best if her ability towards your benefit and not hers or some higher agendas benefit of what is best for any one family.
But....

This is your decision and if you choose to stay with this or change it up, then that is your prerogative as the parent who knows best. Good luck on this and if you need or just want more advice,......... :)
Quoting Bluecalm:


celticdragon77
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 4:38 PM

Why do you have to do this? Is it at all legally required? 

I am hesitant to respond prior to having the answers to those questions and without understanding what all this is about, but I can't get over how ludicrous it seems to have a 6yr old evaluated by a psychologist ... filling out paperwork on the child and answering questions like "what clubs do they belong to". 

Bluecalm
by Bronze Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 4:53 PM
No, not legally required at all. His geneticist recommended getting him evaluated for ADHD because he has a rare chromosomal abnormality which carries a 25% chance of having it. His doctor likes to cover all the bases and checks for every possible problem, like he sent him for heart and kidney ultrasounds because the condition carries a big chance of those issues. My son acts pretty bonkers at doctors appointments and unfortunately he has a lot of them. I'm not sure it is from being anxious or if it's attention seeking because he is most disruptive when I'm talking to the doctors. The evaluation is being done more as fact finding. And probably so the geneticist can write about in his next paper. Jk sort of.


Quoting celticdragon77:

Why do you have to do this? Is it at all legally required? 

I am hesitant to respond prior to having the answers to those questions and without understanding what all this is about, but I can't get over how ludicrous it seems to have a 6yr old evaluated by a psychologist ... filling out paperwork on the child and answering questions like "what clubs do they belong to". 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
celticdragon77
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 5:00 PM

How did your child end up at a geneticist in the first place? (you are totally welcome to tell me to mind my own business, at any point). 

Quoting Bluecalm:

No, not legally required at all. His geneticist recommended getting him evaluated for ADHD because he has a rare chromosomal abnormality which carries a 25% chance of having it. His doctor likes to cover all the bases and checks for every possible problem, like he sent him for heart and kidney ultrasounds because the condition carries a big chance of those issues. My son acts pretty bonkers at doctors appointments and unfortunately he has a lot of them. I'm not sure it is from being anxious or if it's attention seeking because he is most disruptive when I'm talking to the doctors. The evaluation is being done more as fact finding. And probably so the geneticist can write about in his next paper. Jk sort of.


Quoting celticdragon77:

Why do you have to do this? Is it at all legally required? 

I am hesitant to respond prior to having the answers to those questions and without understanding what all this is about, but I can't get over how ludicrous it seems to have a 6yr old evaluated by a psychologist ... filling out paperwork on the child and answering questions like "what clubs do they belong to". 



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