I finally told my MIL that we will be hsing this year. I accompanied it with the new job, almost double pay per hour, more flexibility, and how excited the kids are.
She "respectfully disagrees." While I appreciate her saying so, and keeping her opinion to herself for the most part, I am sad. I wished that she had overheard us and had had time to think about why we would make this decision and to trust that we didn't make it lightly. I had hoped she would understand that this will really be best for both kids.
We live with her, if we did not I probably would have just let her find out on her own through the grapevine, but since we live with her I felt it was respectful and the right thing to do to inform her of our plans.
Her biggest concerns seem to be a)me and DD fighting, we do fight, but I feel that when we can spend all our good time together, we can form a closer relationship. We will always fight, she will always be a girl and I will always feel that I am the parent (until she is an adult, then I think I will losen up). I feel like we will have a lot more time together to spend happily, not fighting. But there will still be times when the 10yo talks back or pushes buttons. MIL had 3 boys and I think she just doesn't get the dynamic between mom and daughter...it doesn't help that she is not biologically mine, she is my DHs. But her mother is not present or involved and so I am her mom. My MIL did not like DDs biomom, but she also always thought kids should be with their moms and didn't approve of my DH having custody. She even wanted to know what biomom was saying about hsing, we haven't told her yet and DH doesn't have to ask her, he just has to inform her.
And b)DH and I paying off our student loans so we can buy a house. Basically what that comes down to is, either less loans or more income and we will be approved for a mortgage, with my new job-depending on the hours-it is possible I will be bringing home more money. Our loans are basically in limbo right now while our income is lower, the pmts are $0. Since DH and I both just started new jobs (I haven't even started yet) we have to wait a little bit to get a mortgage. It has been a catch 22 for the past 7 years. We are always *this* close.
I appreciate my MIL, I love that even though she is not for us hsing, she decided to ask some questions and then respectfully disagree. But I am really quite sad that she can't see why we think this is best. I just let my hopes get too high that she would approve, I guess.
Sorry this was so long and OT, my DH is sleeping and I needed to talk it out. I really might just cry.