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So my MIL is going to be moving in for a while...eep!

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This is going to be interesting to say the least. She does work full time and she will be in the basement for the most part so hopefully cohabitation isn't that bad. When Rob and I were first starting out we lived together for a bit to help her so we've done it before.

We need to get the basement sorted and organized. NOT A SMALL TASK. Oy! I'm tired just thinking about it.

Have you ever lived with or had a relative live with you? We've had my mom and then my SIL live with us in this house when they needed help.

by on Aug. 17, 2013 at 9:23 PM
Replies (21-30):
SusanTheWriter
by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 1:30 PM
My mom moved in with us about 2 1/2 years ago and aside from some rough moments, it's been pretty good! She had several knee surgeries that made it hard to live on her own. I'm an only child, and she was nowhere near ready for a retirement home (she says they're full of old people - she'll be 72 next week), so this was a logical choice.
She and DH get on well, but she's a little rough on the kids sometimes. Everything goes better when she has more things to keep her busy.
It also helped to have a reasonable division of labor. She's a total neat-nik, so it makes her feel better to keep the main level tidy. The kids' rooms are downstairs, so they don't bother her. I do all the food things and all the family and school things, which keeps me running and my house doesn't disintegrate.
But giving her some ownership made a big difference in helping her feel like she was part of a functioning family unit instead of an intruder, y'know?
Pukalani79
by Kristin on Aug. 18, 2013 at 4:58 PM
1 mom liked this

 Good luck!

kirbymom
by Sonja on Aug. 18, 2013 at 7:35 PM
You have my empathy mem. I have lived withy m and his parents. It was definitely better on our own no matter which parent(s) we lived with. It is tough to live with anyone let alone someone with whom you do not have an exceptional relationship with. I hope things go as well as you want them to. If you need a shoulder or an ear, I am always available.
mem82
by Platinum Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 8:56 PM

It sounds like you guys have made a pretty good arrangement. I hope MIL gets on even half as well!

Quoting SusanTheWriter:

My mom moved in with us about 2 1/2 years ago and aside from some rough moments, it's been pretty good! She had several knee surgeries that made it hard to live on her own. I'm an only child, and she was nowhere near ready for a retirement home (she says they're full of old people - she'll be 72 next week), so this was a logical choice.
She and DH get on well, but she's a little rough on the kids sometimes. Everything goes better when she has more things to keep her busy.
It also helped to have a reasonable division of labor. She's a total neat-nik, so it makes her feel better to keep the main level tidy. The kids' rooms are downstairs, so they don't bother her. I do all the food things and all the family and school things, which keeps me running and my house doesn't disintegrate.
But giving her some ownership made a big difference in helping her feel like she was part of a functioning family unit instead of an intruder, y'know?


mem82
by Platinum Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 8:58 PM
1 mom liked this

LOL I may need that shoulder! I'm just telling myself it will be easier to go in with an exceptionally good attitude and it might rub off on her. 8) If not, I suppose I could duct tape her to the chair next to the toddlers. LOL

Quoting kirbymom:

You have my empathy mem. I have lived withy m and his parents. It was definitely better on our own no matter which parent(s) we lived with. It is tough to live with anyone let alone someone with whom you do not have an exceptional relationship with. I hope things go as well as you want them to. If you need a shoulder or an ear, I am always available.


kirbymom
by Sonja on Aug. 18, 2013 at 9:10 PM
1 mom liked this
LOL - Well, any time you need that shoulder, just say the word!
Oh, and didn't you know, duct tape is the handy man's secret weapon!!! ahahaha :)


Quoting mem82:


mem82
by Platinum Member on Aug. 19, 2013 at 11:07 AM
1 mom liked this

Ha!

Quoting kirbymom:

LOL - Well, any time you need that shoulder, just say the word!
Oh, and didn't you know, duct tape is the handy man's secret weapon!!! ahahaha :)


Quoting mem82:



oredeb
by on Aug. 19, 2013 at 11:19 AM

 my dad and step mom lived with us for a few months cuz dad had to have a cancer opperation in our city, so they stayed with us to be close to the hospital, it was great!!! we had a good time. they lived in our basement cuz they couldnt walk up the stairs, ( they also had to both have hip opperations, broke both hips at the same time)

thats great your able to help them when you can mem,  part of what we do as families, well i think of it this way' they took care of us when we were young so we can help them out when they need it' no matter how hard it would be.

mem82
by Platinum Member on Aug. 19, 2013 at 11:25 AM

That's the way Rob and I look at it. We have to at least give it a try. We are the only people that have both the room and honestly, the money (little though it may be) to afford an extra person living with us. Of the six kids between our two families, we're the only house owners, or the only ones who live in a house even. We are also the only kids that are gainfully employed. *sigh* We'll do what we can and try not to make anyone feel bad about it.

I can't imagine having two parents with broken hips at the same time! That must have been interesting! LOL

Quoting oredeb:

 my dad and step mom lived with us for a few months cuz dad had to have a cancer opperation in our city, so they stayed with us to be close to the hospital, it was great!!! we had a good time. they lived in our basement cuz they couldnt walk up the stairs, ( they also had to both have hip opperations, broke both hips at the same time)

thats great your able to help them when you can mem,  part of what we do as families, well i think of it this way' they took care of us when we were young so we can help them out when they need it' no matter how hard it would be.


tuffymama
by Bronze Member on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:43 PM
I would die. Honestly, I'd rather eat spider eggs and thumbtacks than live with my MIL. She's legitimately nuts. She stirs every pot she encounters and is intentionally difficult and contrary at every turn. Then there is the matter of her heavy marijuana usage... Ugh. And my mother! Goodness. LOL. Thank heaven for our stepmothers and XMIL, who've made fantastic grandmothers. I still don't want to live with them, though. ;0)

I hope this goes well for all of you! You're awesome for making space for another adult to move in.
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