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Article: School has become too hostile towards boys

Posted by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 7:14 AM
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bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 8:02 AM

 I read that article a few days ago.  While I dislike the Zero tolerance rules, I think we do need to teach our sons that violence isn't the right way to do things.  We are perpetuating oppression and war with the way we glorify violence in movies and it exaperates the schools because it is such a difficult concept to explain to children.

In our family we only point guns at things we plan to eat, so they (the 2 boys in the article) would have been reprimanded here.  We have had many a discussion about how most of the comic book heroes do not kill their enemies but instead punish them with jail or the insane asylum.

Now all that said...... Schools are VERY hostile to little boys.  Boys are much more likely (statistically) to be suspended, expelled, fail, need "remediation" for standardized testing, and be recommended for evaluation for medications (ADHD, ODD, ADD, etc).  Boys are often more physically active than girls (yes many girls are too, but statistically boys are "worse").  In the schools we require way too much sitting, we do not offer enough opportunities to burn off that energy.  It is setting these boys up to inappropriately outburst.  Then we punish them for doing what comes naturally.

I have also seen teachers when talking about current events and history that will, very pointedly, look at the boys as they discuss pay differences between girls and boys, appartheid, voting rights, the founding father's views on Women and government, and the list goes on and on.  These boys have absolutely nothing to do with what the founding fathers decided, so why in the world are they making them feel culpable?  So I do agree with the title of the article, the schools have become fairly hostile toward our boys.

bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 8:05 AM

 By the way, that link wouldn't work for me.

mem82
by Platinum Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 8:06 AM
I have read several articles about how school is geared more towards girls than bots. It is sad.
mem82
by Platinum Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 8:07 AM
1 mom liked this
Oh, in our house we can only shoot non human enemies. Zombies, aliens, monsters, and robots.
housewifehell
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 8:13 AM

I would like to read the atricle but the page is gone when I click it...

hwblyf
by Silver Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 8:43 AM


I also couldn't get the link to work.  :(  BUT, I'm homeschooling because my son is "violent."  And that is totally their word, not mine.  My son has impulse control issues, he has trust issues, he has sensory issues, probably more issues than I have words for at this point.  Zero tolerance is a policy that never works, is a policy to hide behind, takes control away from the people actually in the situation, and allows our authority figures to disengage their brains.

It's interesting that you point out that boys are typically more physically active than girls.  Even when girls are physically active, their way of displaying it is often far more acceptable in the schools.  They might be thought of as spazzes (I've never seen that word pluralized...it seems strange), but boys are thought of as a danger.  The school psychologist labeled my son dangerous because he was playing with one of those huge rubbermaid trash rolling dumpsters and she felt threatened.  She likened him to Newtown.  That's a huge jump.  HUGE.  And the shame of it all is, how we perceive and go on to treat children, is what they grow into.  I find it appalling that kids aren't allowed to be kids, that mere mentions of a gun, or a picture of a gun, would get kids suspended or expelled.  We have lost our way with our children, forgotten that we are guides, and have gone straight to punitive.  We'll pay for that.

I think school, on the whole, is less and less desirable because of how they treat our children.  Make the day longer, make the school year longer, act as though they have no physical needs, just a brain that needs to be shaped and molded.  We've gone the route that our children are just little adults who can and WILL sit for 8 hours at a desk and get it done.  My daughter suffered as well, it's just that much easier to spot it with boys.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 I read that article a few days ago.  While I dislike the Zero tolerance rules, I think we do need to teach our sons that violence isn't the right way to do things.  We are perpetuating oppression and war with the way we glorify violence in movies and it exaperates the schools because it is such a difficult concept to explain to children.

In our family we only point guns at things we plan to eat, so they (the 2 boys in the article) would have been reprimanded here.  We have had many a discussion about how most of the comic book heroes do not kill their enemies but instead punish them with jail or the insane asylum.

Now all that said...... Schools are VERY hostile to little boys.  Boys are much more likely (statistically) to be suspended, expelled, fail, need "remediation" for standardized testing, and be recommended for evaluation for medications (ADHD, ODD, ADD, etc).  Boys are often more physically active than girls (yes many girls are too, but statistically boys are "worse").  In the schools we require way too much sitting, we do not offer enough opportunities to burn off that energy.  It is setting these boys up to inappropriately outburst.  Then we punish them for doing what comes naturally.

I have also seen teachers when talking about current events and history that will, very pointedly, look at the boys as they discuss pay differences between girls and boys, appartheid, voting rights, the founding father's views on Women and government, and the list goes on and on.  These boys have absolutely nothing to do with what the founding fathers decided, so why in the world are they making them feel culpable?  So I do agree with the title of the article, the schools have become fairly hostile toward our boys.



Boobah
by Nikki :) on Aug. 22, 2013 at 8:50 AM
I think I read it a few days ago. Is it the one where the teacher allowed the kids to beat up on the boy? As a parent, I would have raised some serious hell, and probably a lawsuit. I get that you can try everything and not make a difference, but violence isn't the answer, and that teacher had NO right. I have personally smirked to myself when my oldest finally had enough and hauled off and smacked my middle, (she hits frequently and is a rough kid) but I reprimanded both and I definitely didn't hold her down and say "hit her back!"
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bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 10:40 AM

 http://ideas.time.com/2013/08/19/school-has-become-too-hostile-to-boys/

try this one.  It worked from my facebook feed.

I agree with your assessment of the zero tolerance policies.  It definately allows the teachers to simply react to a situation without any thought of the future.  See a gun: Suspension.  There is no room for the teacher to say: Hmmm I asked them to draw their hero, their Dad is their hero, their dad is a policeman....of course a gun is appropriate.  It is simply see and react.

Yes girls who are physically active are also seen through what I call society goggles that they are just cute, will grow out of it, they're just "spazzing," and they won't "hurt" anyone.  Boys are rarely given that benefit of the doubt anymore.

But I also think that schools are hard on girls too, just in other ways.  Girls are "chatty," "distracting," "talkative," "disruptive," "or a "know-it-all."  Many kids are treated poorly, but we as a society often say that it is "necessary" because it teaches them how to do the things they will need to do in society.  But this gives absolutely no acknowledgement to the fact that most kids will grow out of these behaviors without the labels and harsh treatments.

Sorry, I'm jumping off my soap box now!  *Grins sheepishly*

Quoting hwblyf:

 

I also couldn't get the link to work.  :(  BUT, I'm homeschooling because my son is "violent."  And that is totally their word, not mine.  My son has impulse control issues, he has trust issues, he has sensory issues, probably more issues than I have words for at this point.  Zero tolerance is a policy that never works, is a policy to hide behind, takes control away from the people actually in the situation, and allows our authority figures to disengage their brains.

It's interesting that you point out that boys are typically more physically active than girls.  Even when girls are physically active, their way of displaying it is often far more acceptable in the schools.  They might be thought of as spazzes (I've never seen that word pluralized...it seems strange), but boys are thought of as a danger.  The school psychologist labeled my son dangerous because he was playing with one of those huge rubbermaid trash rolling dumpsters and she felt threatened.  She likened him to Newtown.  That's a huge jump.  HUGE.  And the shame of it all is, how we perceive and go on to treat children, is what they grow into.  I find it appalling that kids aren't allowed to be kids, that mere mentions of a gun, or a picture of a gun, would get kids suspended or expelled.  We have lost our way with our children, forgotten that we are guides, and have gone straight to punitive.  We'll pay for that.

I think school, on the whole, is less and less desirable because of how they treat our children.  Make the day longer, make the school year longer, act as though they have no physical needs, just a brain that needs to be shaped and molded.  We've gone the route that our children are just little adults who can and WILL sit for 8 hours at a desk and get it done.  My daughter suffered as well, it's just that much easier to spot it with boys.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 I read that article a few days ago.  While I dislike the Zero tolerance rules, I think we do need to teach our sons that violence isn't the right way to do things.  We are perpetuating oppression and war with the way we glorify violence in movies and it exaperates the schools because it is such a difficult concept to explain to children.

In our family we only point guns at things we plan to eat, so they (the 2 boys in the article) would have been reprimanded here.  We have had many a discussion about how most of the comic book heroes do not kill their enemies but instead punish them with jail or the insane asylum.

Now all that said...... Schools are VERY hostile to little boys.  Boys are much more likely (statistically) to be suspended, expelled, fail, need "remediation" for standardized testing, and be recommended for evaluation for medications (ADHD, ODD, ADD, etc).  Boys are often more physically active than girls (yes many girls are too, but statistically boys are "worse").  In the schools we require way too much sitting, we do not offer enough opportunities to burn off that energy.  It is setting these boys up to inappropriately outburst.  Then we punish them for doing what comes naturally.

I have also seen teachers when talking about current events and history that will, very pointedly, look at the boys as they discuss pay differences between girls and boys, appartheid, voting rights, the founding father's views on Women and government, and the list goes on and on.  These boys have absolutely nothing to do with what the founding fathers decided, so why in the world are they making them feel culpable?  So I do agree with the title of the article, the schools have become fairly hostile toward our boys.

 

 

 

Mandallyn
by Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 10:48 AM
1 mom liked this

Ugh, I read this article.  I don't like it's highly gender-biased, as though all boys are spirited and violent.  i get what the article is saying though, and I agree.  Public school is no place for highly active children.  I really wish my oldest boy wouldn't have fought me tooth and nail to get into public school. :(  Now my 4yr old keeps saying he wants to go.  *sigh*  

bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 11:02 AM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting Mandallyn:

Ugh, I read this article.  I don't like it's highly gendered, as though all boys are spirited and violent.  i get what the article is saying though, and I agree.  Public school is no place for highly active children.  I really wish my oldest boy wouldn't have fought me tooth and nail to get into public school. :(  Now my 4yr old keeps saying he wants to go.  *sigh*  

 I get why it is so gender-biased.  There were so many articles in the 80's and 90's that focused so heavily on how girls were being left behind in the classroom, how girls were not called upon in math and science classrooms, how girls were excluded in the technology classes.  Because of that bad press it has turned much more lopsided the other way at this point.  Boys are typically the ones singled out for those behaviors and labeled as "violent" even when placed side by side with the "spirited" girls.

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