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Article: School has become too hostile towards boys

Replies (21-26):
Precious333
by Julia on Aug. 22, 2013 at 1:27 PM
1 mom liked this
I believe it!


Quoting Bleacheddecay:

Totally agree. My girl who had ADHD but they didn't catch it was put in the "gifted" program. My son was expected to be ADHD, they tested him for it even after I told them they couldn't. They wanted him medicated and held back but he didn't test out as "distractable."

I've read numerious cases of sisters being put in gifted while brothers were considered special and put with the disabled people.

A great book that I really enjoyed about this and other things is, The Short Bus: A Journey Beyond Normal by Jonathan Mooney. They put him in the disable class and told his parents he would never graduate from high school. They put his sister in the gift class with the same issues as her brother.

He later not only graduate high school, he talked himself into Harvaard.



Quoting Precious333:

As much as i dont like the school system jn general, i would much rather see my girl go than my boys.......of.course i dont want either to go.





Quoting Bleacheddecay:

I firmly believe that little boys should not go to school where they just want to drug them and hold them back plus ruin any self esteem they might have.







hwblyf
by Silver Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 1:27 PM
1 mom liked this


I don't know medically what my son would be labelled with, and it's not important to me.  Everyone I talk to has had their child tested so that they could get the appropriate help, but they've also struggled finding the right doctor who offers the right help.  I'm not a struggler, I don't enjoy paying people for not helping, I don't like wasting my time with "professionals" who can't get the job done and make me feel bad about it.  What ticks me off with the schools about my son, is their refusal to apply the tricks they know.  He's not the first one they've dealt with, he may be an extreme case, though (or, perhaps, because he meets some donkeys, he's not willing to work with them....I don't know where he gets that from!  sigh....), but they could work with him without the label.

I seem to have taken this off course.  Sorry.

Quoting TJandKarasMom:

Our middle school also uses a drop down list, there is nothing personal on my DSs report cards from this past year at all.

And DD, we are pretty sure she is Autistic, highly functioning-she just has some quirks and things we need to work with.  But when I brought it up to DH when she was younger, he said he would never have her diagnosed unless he felt it would be an extreme benefit to her because he didn't want the label to define her for the rest of her life.  I am glad he had that reaction although I didn't understand it at first, but now that I have worked in the school and seen it all, he was right not to have her diagnosed.  She will be fine as an adult and won't need assistance forever, but us modifying things for her definitely helps her. 


Quoting hwblyf:

Your soapbox is wholly appreciated!  And really, when has a label been truly helpful?  It allows you to see past the person to a set/fixed/determined definition.  I'm not saying that knowing certain things about someone (they have sensory issues, they're autistic, they have allergies so don't even talk to them when hayfever season is upon us, etc....) isn't helpful, but when that's how you present a person, that's what they see.  I've felt that more and more we just wanna cut to the chase and eliminate the personal touch.  Just give me a code, tell me what to do, it'll get done.  Our ps even went to having a drop down list for teacher comments about their student.  So instead of getting on a report card, "Noah's fine motor skills have improved and his enthusiasm for math is evident," they now do things like, "Learns well.  Listens to teacher.  Performs on grade level."  I can't help but wonder what all this "efficiency" is buying us.

bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 1:37 PM

 It is sad, isn't it?  I like having options....real options.

Quoting hwblyf:

 

Our schools don't have the option to write anything personal.  The additional comments field is exclusively drop down menu.  Cuz all 600 kids at the school can have one of the same 12 comments applied unilaterally.  :(  My son's learning plan was drop down, too, including their action plan.  Why bother having a plan, then?  You know you have some options, use those.  I don't see how it's an individual plan, if it's basically cookie cutter, with the exception that you may have chosen some options and not others.  And the guys running the show (HA!) wonder why there's no independent thought.....

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 Since schools went to computerizing their entire gradebook, they added those drop down menus.  You can add comments of your own, but seriously few teachers do take the time for that personal touch.  BUT they will take time to write a paragraph about the child on the permanent record that gets passed to the teacher the next year so that the new teacher already has a pre-disposed idea of that child.  Growth and development over the summer?  Who cares.  They're still the same aggressive, disruptive, chaotic child they were last year, don't ya know?  *Sigh*

Quoting hwblyf:

Your soapbox is wholly appreciated!  And really, when has a label been truly helpful?  It allows you to see past the person to a set/fixed/determined definition.  I'm not saying that knowing certain things about someone (they have sensory issues, they're autistic, they have allergies so don't even talk to them when hayfever season is upon us, etc....) isn't helpful, but when that's how you present a person, that's what they see.  I've felt that more and more we just wanna cut to the chase and eliminate the personal touch.  Just give me a code, tell me what to do, it'll get done.  Our ps even went to having a drop down list for teacher comments about their student.  So instead of getting on a report card, "Noah's fine motor skills have improved and his enthusiasm for math is evident," they now do things like, "Learns well.  Listens to teacher.  Performs on grade level."  I can't help but wonder what all this "efficiency" is buying us.

 

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 

 

 

 

 

hwblyf
by Silver Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 2:02 PM
1 mom liked this


I do, too.  I also liked being able to actually, really talk to my kids' teachers.  

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 It is sad, isn't it?  I like having options....real options.

Quoting hwblyf:


Our schools don't have the option to write anything personal.  The additional comments field is exclusively drop down menu.  Cuz all 600 kids at the school can have one of the same 12 comments applied unilaterally.  :(  My son's learning plan was drop down, too, including their action plan.  Why bother having a plan, then?  You know you have some options, use those.  I don't see how it's an individual plan, if it's basically cookie cutter, with the exception that you may have chosen some options and not others.  And the guys running the show (HA!) wonder why there's no independent thought.....

Chasing3
by Bronze Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 3:15 PM
1 mom liked this

My personal anecdote is my oldest son is a quiet, shy, sit-still, not really into sports, follow-the-rules kind of kid who teachers have always loved. He's an average student across the board. His 2-year-younger brother is a little active, goofy, easily bored and more into sports kind of kid - although he certainly does not exhibit hyperactivy (not judging, just stating). He's an average student across the board also. We have had complaints about him since preschool from teachers that he "draws pictures of guns" or "all he did was scribble on the paper with a red crayon" and the teacher actually said "I think he was drawing blood!" (horrors!) We've had papers sent home and told to tell him he can't draw or write that stuff in school. Meanwhile, I found a "quiet writing journal" from older brother from 1st grade. He wasn't able to write complete sentences at that time so you know what? It's full of stick figures drawings of guys sword-fighting or shooting guns or planes dropping bombs! SOO... because he would sit quietly and look very busy with his head over his journal scribbling away, the teachers would tell us he was fabulously behaved and a smart worker -- and they probably never even looked to see the drawings! But the other one who gets out of his seat and wanders around and talks too much - he's clearly a sociopath in the making in the school's view.

kirbymom
by Sonja on Aug. 23, 2013 at 1:59 AM
1 mom liked this
I think the article has more merit than most want to give credit to. In today's society if a boy/man does not act more like a girl/woman, then he is labeled as having mental and physical problems that need to be handled by the use of meds. While I think that the female identity has come along way, I also think that we have become like the rubber band effect and been pushed too far the other way. Thusly, boys are now a danger to be made aware of and handled, to the negative.

We have really lost something true and right with the advent of progression of technology and in our quest to right too many wrongs in too big a rush to get it righted as quickly as possible. Logical thinking first then emotional feeling is how society should have handled things.
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