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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

Have any of you had a visit from cps?

Posted by on Aug. 24, 2013 at 3:52 PM
  • 30 Replies

If so, what went down?  I'm curious because of a warning recently sent out to those in my area homeschool group, that several families in our county were being investigated about supposed educational neglect due to homeschooling.  It's all got me a bit nervous, so I'm wondering how this stuff usually works out.  I've been through the system as an adolescent, so I know first hand the lying, sneaky, sometimes evil tactics used by workers.

by on Aug. 24, 2013 at 3:52 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Pukalani79
by Kristin on Aug. 24, 2013 at 4:15 PM
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 Yes, but not for that.  It's kind of amusing now, but terrifying at the same time.  In 2007, my kids were 5, 3 and 2.  We were living just outside of Memphis, and were getting ready to move back to Oregon.  My husband was in school, my kids were lying down in my bedroom watching tv and I was in another room packing.  I had checked on the kids about 10 min previous, was packing and had gone into my room to get something.  That's when I noticed the girls were gone.  My son and I tore that apartment apart looking for them. They were gone.  I'm panicked at this point, running down the stairs, searching the back yard area, the parking lot, etc.  I asked my neighbor if she'd seen anything and if she'd help me.  Probably another 5-10 min went by, we're screaming their names, running all over the place and a guy calls and asks if we were looking for two little girls, that he knew where they were.  Turns out the girls (3 and 2) had gotten out of apartment, down the stairs (I didn't even know the little one could do that) across the back yard area, across a small creek to the church behind the apartment complex where there was a playground.  They were very happily playing, oblivious to everything.  The guy at the church had found them, and called the police who were there when I arrived.  The 3 year old was naked (potty training) and the 2 year old in nothing but a diaper (it was May and hot already).  I don't think I have ever cried so hard after finding those two!! The officer was very understanding, he called me twice during that day and then CPS showed up within a week or two. They were very stern at first, but as I cried and told them the story, they became very friendly.  They interviewed me and then they talked to the kids.  When they left they told me that they were not worried about it.  Of course I have a record now, but they were very nice.

This past Spring I had to turn my sister into CPS for emotional and physical neglect. (long, heartbreaking story) They interviewed us, then they went and interviewed my sister and her husband and the kids.  Unfortunately there was nothing that they could do.  The guy told me that emotional neglect or emotional abuse is the hardest thing to prove and very rarely is anything able to be done.

kirbymom
by Sonja on Aug. 24, 2013 at 4:28 PM
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Hi Ecoseem. Welcome. :)

I have had them called on me a few times and none of the allegations ever went anywhere as they were false.
If you know your states homeschool laws and can have them handy, then you shouldn't have too big of a hassle. What I do is invite them in when they come a knockin and offer a seat, a tour of the house, a cup of coffee and a nice sit down conversation with myself and my husband. We tell them exactly what we do, how we do it, when we do it. We also show them all of our resources. Then, I ask whom it was that the call was made by. Through all of this I am polite and courteous with them and I am as calm as the situation calls for. In every instance, and I mean every one, these people walk away knowing that they don't want, nor have a leg to stand on, concerning our family and our homeschooling. In fact, they have all left asking if we could homeschool their kids. We also tell them that our door is open to them anytime and they may stop by and visit anytime. Let me tell you that with these last two sentences, they know that they can't and really don't need to and they never do a follow up. In every case, they have sent a letter stating that the state's attorney had informed them that our case was closed and they apologize for any inconvenience they may have caused us.
As long as you stay calm and show them that you have absolutely nothing to hide from them or anyone else, they are not really interested in you anymore. If they know that you have your ducks in a row, they can not legally say or do anything.

  

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TJandKarasMom
by Debbie on Aug. 24, 2013 at 6:15 PM
1 mom liked this

I have, but not for hs'ing.  My DH's ex called on us because....drumroll please....we had dirty dishes in our sink! ((Gasp))....DH and I were both working FT, going to school FT, and we each had a toddler (we both had about 50/50 custody back then, so typically more than 50% of the time we had two toddlers)!  It was completely ridiculous and unfounded.  The lady came and talked to us and the kids, and nothing else ever came of it.  Funny that of all the things that happened, we never felt SD was in danger enough to call CPS on her mother, yet the dirty dishes was enough for her mother to call on us.  Now we have full custody and SD doesn't see or talk to her mother :(


If I were you, I would just be sure to have everything all set legally-make sure you have notified the school district or whatever you have to do in your state.  But don't do anything more.  You can let them in if you feel that's something you want to do, but you don't have to let them in your home without a warrant.  I can see my DH saying "yes we homeschool, we follow the law, you may get a warrant if you feel you need any further information" and closing the door, lol.  I'm not that brave or short with people, I would most likely let them in and explain everything, though it's completely legal and I have nothing I have to explain.

I would try not to worry about it too much, they can't do anything, you are following the law, hs'ing is legal.  And if you aren't doing anything else abuse/neglect, then they don't have a leg to stand on.

tuffymama
by Bronze Member on Aug. 24, 2013 at 6:33 PM
Quoting Pukalani79:

 Yes, but not for that.  It's kind of amusing now, but terrifying at the same time.  In 2007, my kids were 5, 3 and 2.  We were living just outside of Memphis, and were getting ready to move back to Oregon.  My husband was in school, my kids were lying down in my bedroom watching tv and I was in another room packing.  I had checked on the kids about 10 min previous, was packing and had gone into my room to get something.  That's when I noticed the girls were gone.  My son and I tore that apartment apart looking for them. They were gone.  I'm panicked at this point, running down the stairs, searching the back yard area, the parking lot, etc.  I asked my neighbor if she'd seen anything and if she'd help me.  Probably another 5-10 min went by, we're screaming their names, running all over the place and a guy calls and asks if we were looking for two little girls, that he knew where they were.  Turns out the girls (3 and 2) had gotten out of apartment, down the stairs (I didn't even know the little one could do that) across the back yard area, across a small creek to the church behind the apartment complex where there was a playground.  They were very happily playing, oblivious to everything.  The guy at the church had found them, and called the police who were there when I arrived.  The 3 year old was naked (potty training) and the 2 year old in nothing but a diaper (it was May and hot already).  I don't think I have ever cried so hard after finding those two!! The officer was very understanding, he called me twice during that day and then CPS showed up within a week or two. They were very stern at first, but as I cried and told them the story, they became very friendly.  They interviewed me and then they talked to the kids.  When they left they told me that they were not worried about it.  Of course I have a record now, but they were very nice.


This past Spring I had to turn my sister into CPS for emotional and physical neglect. (long, heartbreaking story) They interviewed us, then they went and interviewed my sister and her husband and the kids.  Unfortunately there was nothing that they could do.  The guy told me that emotional neglect or emotional abuse is the hardest thing to prove and very rarely is anything able to be done.




I'm so sorry you had to make that call. I know the internal conflict that can be involved, and the heartache that leads to and follows that decision. Is there anything you can do to support the kids emotionally or spiritually? Is the rest of the family aware, and does anyone else take an interest in the kids?
usmom3
by BJ on Aug. 24, 2013 at 7:04 PM
No it has never happened to us & I hope it never dose. I do know my rights & the homeschool laws so I hope if it ever did happen I would be prepaired.
kirbymom
by Sonja on Aug. 24, 2013 at 7:23 PM
Oh wow! My heart goes out to you! That would be very scary indeed. I am so glad that nothing came of that but even more than that, I am glad that your daughters were not hurt or taken from you.



Quoting Pukalani79:

 Yes, but not for that.  It's kind of amusing now, but terrifying at the same time.  In 2007, my kids were 5, 3 and 2.  We were living just outside of Memphis, and were getting ready to move back to Oregon.  My husband was in school, my kids were lying down in my bedroom watching tv and I was in another room packing.  I had checked on the kids about 10 min previous, was packing and had gone into my room to get something.  That's when I noticed the girls were gone.  My son and I tore that apartment apart looking for them. They were gone.  I'm panicked at this point, running down the stairs, searching the back yard area, the parking lot, etc.  I asked my neighbor if she'd seen anything and if she'd help me.  Probably another 5-10 min went by, we're screaming their names, running all over the place and a guy calls and asks if we were looking for two little girls, that he knew where they were.  Turns out the girls (3 and 2) had gotten out of apartment, down the stairs (I didn't even know the little one could do that) across the back yard area, across a small creek to the church behind the apartment complex where there was a playground.  They were very happily playing, oblivious to everything.  The guy at the church had found them, and called the police who were there when I arrived.  The 3 year old was naked (potty training) and the 2 year old in nothing but a diaper (it was May and hot already).  I don't think I have ever cried so hard after finding those two!! The officer was very understanding, he called me twice during that day and then CPS showed up within a week or two. They were very stern at first, but as I cried and told them the story, they became very friendly.  They interviewed me and then they talked to the kids.  When they left they told me that they were not worried about it.  Of course I have a record now, but they were very nice.


This past Spring I had to turn my sister into CPS for emotional and physical neglect. (long, heartbreaking story) They interviewed us, then they went and interviewed my sister and her husband and the kids.  Unfortunately there was nothing that they could do.  The guy told me that emotional neglect or emotional abuse is the hardest thing to prove and very rarely is anything able to be done.


busymommy2013
by on Aug. 24, 2013 at 7:36 PM
Not for the same reason. Actually not because if us either. Bm of my step children got a felony domestic violence charge by beating her dh up in front of ss. Cps came by our house to talk to the children about their mother and the household over there.
Pukalani79
by Kristin on Aug. 24, 2013 at 7:46 PM

 My mom and brother actually went with me, which helped a lot.  Unfortunately she has completely cut off all contact with me. I think she still talks to my mom, but it is on occassion and only on her terms.  So I have no idea what's going on with the kids, and it breaks my heart.  I've tried offering an olive branch, with invitations to my kids' birthday parties, but she's ignored them.  I'm considering writing a letter and trying to explain, but I dont know what to say or how to say it. 

Quoting tuffymama:

Quoting Pukalani79:

 This past Spring I had to turn my sister into CPS for emotional and physical neglect. (long, heartbreaking story) They interviewed us, then they went and interviewed my sister and her husband and the kids.  Unfortunately there was nothing that they could do.  The guy told me that emotional neglect or emotional abuse is the hardest thing to prove and very rarely is anything able to be done.




I'm so sorry you had to make that call. I know the internal conflict that can be involved, and the heartache that leads to and follows that decision. Is there anything you can do to support the kids emotionally or spiritually? Is the rest of the family aware, and does anyone else take an interest in the kids?

 

Pukalani79
by Kristin on Aug. 24, 2013 at 7:48 PM
1 mom liked this

 I really think this is key.

Quoting kirbymom:

As long as you stay calm and show them that you have absolutely nothing to hide from them or anyone else, they are not really interested in you anymore. If they know that you have your ducks in a row, they can not legally say or do anything.

 

bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Aug. 24, 2013 at 7:49 PM
1 mom liked this

 CPS came along with the truancy officer.  Thankfully I am anal.  The school district called the truancy officer when I pulled my son out of public school.  They just were not going to accept my letter of withdrawal or my intent to homeschool.  But when I had sent in my intent to homeschool notification, I sent it as a registered letter, so I had proof that someone had recieved it at the school.

The child services woman was actually pretty nice.  When I showed the truancy officer the paperwork, she just said that it looked like everything was in order.  I asked them if they wanted tea (they were sitting at my kitchen table) when they said no, I mentioned that they probably had other more important cases to get to.   I gave my kids a snack (sliced peppers and cheese) and she was surprised when they dug right in eating veggies as a snack.  They said goodbye and left.

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