Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

Helicopter/Bulldozer moms....and homeschooling.

Posted by   + Show Post

 I took my 2 older boys to their soccer practice today.  There are 3 homeschool moms who have children on this team.  The coach knew that there are 3 homeschool moms with the team.  I knew who all 3 of us were, but the coach did not.

So there is a Helicopter mom there, constantly talking to her kid, telling her to do this or do that:  :Get in line or you'll miss your turn, don't mess with your shin guard, be quieter sweetie, get in there, hustle up, don't let him crowd you...." and on and on and on.  There was Bulldozer mom there, talking at the coach right from the beginning: "So there are a lot of kids on this team, my kid has experience, so he's going to play this week right.  When's the next practice?  You know practices should be a little earlier, we need to get home to eat..." and on and on and on.

I found it interesting that the head coach talked to her assistant coach and asked if those 2 were the homeschooler moms.  HAHHAHAHAHA!  Two of the homeschooler moms were over at the playground with their youngest children and I was outside of the fence playing with my youngest.  So Sam (the assistant coach) glances over at me and laughs, "not even close" she said.

I know this isn't a large sampling or anything, but I found it very funny that the coach assumed that the helicopter and bulldozer were the hs moms and that the hs moms were actually not on the field at all.

Are you a helicopter or a bulldozer?  Are there any in your co-ops?

by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 8:37 PM
Replies (31-40):
TidewaterClan
by on Aug. 30, 2013 at 6:26 AM

 This is our first year hs, but I've met tons of helicopter parents at ps.  I was always a homeroom parent and helped put parties together because I like being with my children (not to take over).  Last year, in my older dd's 5th grade class, there were two parents who would stand behind their children and tell them exactly how to do their crafts.  I always found something that "only they could do" to distract them and let their kids have some leash.

That coach should have known better.  Hopefully time will change her opinion!

romacox
by Silver Member on Aug. 30, 2013 at 7:54 AM

We first  joined a large co-op,  From that group, we formed our own small co-op of mothers and children whom all got along well.  We still attended the larger one for ceremonies and  field tripa.  The smaller group was for everything else.  It workde well for us.

Chasing3
by Bronze Member on Aug. 30, 2013 at 7:54 AM

i think I was somewhat of a helicopter mom up until recently. (I  think culturally we are all overwhelmingly helicpoters toward children - doing everything for them, assuming they can't do things for themselves, etc.) I read a lot of books on education and learning to get to the homeschool decision for my son, and realized I was doing a lot of things that were counter productive. So, I've really tried to stop and think I've had a bit of a 180º in regards to acting that way.

Remy11
by on Aug. 30, 2013 at 9:20 AM
Home schooling moms in general tend to be the opposite of Helicopter parents. Usually let our kids be kids and learn how they want to learn and this extends to their activities.
coala
by Silver Member on Aug. 30, 2013 at 11:06 AM

I have recently found myself "helicoptering" with my oldest DD's speed practice.  I think its because the coach isn't paying enough attention and driving her hard enough that she gets bored and then distracts the other kids.  My goal isn't to "helicopter", but to get my kid to stop bothering the other kids so that they can get in a full practice as well.  I think part of the problem is that we usually have 2-3 coaches and have been down to 1 for the last month.  He was the 2nd assistant and just started, when the others went to the World Championships in Belgium.  It is wonderful that we will have atleast 2 back full time in 2 weeks.  This is also the time when my DD will be able to skate again....she injured herself and we had to take her off skates for 3 weeks.

I don't want to be a helicopter parent and I certainly don't want to bulldoze either.  I want to be the parent that lets my kids be kids and figure it out on their own.  I have been reading a book that opened my eyes to the fact that we actually do a disservice to our kids by doing everything for them.  I have been trying to let my kids take on more things because they are life lessons that they need to learn.

oredeb
by on Aug. 30, 2013 at 11:26 AM

ive known quite a few bulldozer and helicopter homeschool moms like that, they get things done, keep coaches and leaders on their feet, irritate people, make sure they arent taken advantage of or anyone else(my good friend here is both of those!,  hahahah

im the type of mom that would be sitting there with the rest of my young kids watching the practice, encouraging the kids. waiting for when the coach isnt busy to talk to them.

mem82
by Platinum Member on Aug. 30, 2013 at 11:26 AM
2 moms liked this
During classes I try to let the teacher handle behavior but I'm not above throwing the evil eye out over misbehaving kids. Lol
KrissyKC
by Silver Member on Aug. 30, 2013 at 1:17 PM
1 mom liked this
OH, yeah, I wasn't saying that was anyone here or anyone in particular. However, I'm sure you've seen the posts in other groups where women complain about some one sitting on the bench at the park instead of following their child around (age appropriate of course)... They talk about how evil the mom is just for taking some time to relax while their children play.
Quoting bluerooffarm:

 That's totally not me.  I really believe in giving my child enough space to find out what kind of person he is all on his own without my input.

"seven deadly sins..." LOL!  That cracked me up!

Quoting KrissyKC:

My pet peeve is  the parent that is the exact opposite.   The parent that thinks it's horrendous to not be constantly engaging your children.   The ones that think that you have to ALWAYS be perfect and 100% involved in every moment of what your child experiences.     

Like sitting down on the bench at the park while they play and flipping through your email on your phone is one of the seven deadly sins.   I love my children, but I don't draw every breath in my body for my children.   I have times I expect them to respect my space and allow me some breathers.   

Also, it's not crappy parenting if I don't go play barbies with the child that I just played FOUR board games with.   It's ok, breathe, your child can entertain themselves once in a while and learn to not be the center of their parent's attention.

*gasp* she's such an inattentive mom, she told the child to actually go play for a while!!!

 

 

Quoting Bleacheddecay:

I'm not either of those types. I have met one bulldozer, I called her "Sargent ____First Name____ behind her back.  She was not a homeschooler.

The homeschoolers I know are more moderate.

I've never met a helicopter parent. All the parents I know are amazingly selfish, wanting their own time and unaware of what's going on with their kids, such as when they aren't excited but are over tired.  I work in a church nursery and those poor kids are so tired but dragged around cause the parent wants to go, then they are dumped in the nursery.

The homeschoolers I know are more aware of what is going on with their kids and more considerate of them, IMO.

 

 

 


LostTheSlipper
by Bronze Member on Aug. 30, 2013 at 2:47 PM


Quoting mhaney03:

 Yeah me and the kids are in the same class.  I do correct them when I catch them goofing off but I'm not like some of the moms that are sitting down in the back of the room all "your belt is crooked" "fix your uniform" "don't fidget like that!"  "stop chewing on your belt!"


Quoting bluerooffarm:

 

Quoting mhaney03:

I have moments when I am both, but I find the taekwondo moms of public school kids are worse, and they aren't even students in the class like I am haha.

 I struggle so hard to let them be their own person.  But, yeah, every once in a while it comes out of me.  I had to bite my tongue a lot tonight to keep from getting into the fray.

You take Taekwondo?  That is so cool!



Ooh. I tend to tell my son what he should be doing in TKD if he's way off. Our school simply does NOT have enough discipline. Mine will get it in his head to just go start kicking the standing bag when he's supposed to be doing poomse. Nobody will say anything. Why? I have no idea, but there's just no room in our dojang for that crap to be happening.


Overall I tend to me more of a helicopter parent than I should because I swear DS is in his own little world sometimes. I have to tell him again and again, "Make sure you listen." (This is before the class. He just decides to do his own thing!)  I have to try to "hover close" to some things so I get information we should have because he conveniently wasn't listening or "forgets." He's 10 and flighty. *Sigh* I try to be better and let go for some things, but for others it just doesn't work.

Jinx-Troublex3
by Jinx on Aug. 30, 2013 at 2:53 PM

There is a difference in redirecting him and keeping him on task vs REAL helicoptering where you are stepping in and doing things for them ordirecting every action. 


Quoting LostTheSlipper:

 

Quoting mhaney03:

 Yeah me and the kids are in the same class.  I do correct them when I catch them goofing off but I'm not like some of the moms that are sitting down in the back of the room all "your belt is crooked" "fix your uniform" "don't fidget like that!"  "stop chewing on your belt!"

 

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 

Quoting mhaney03:

I have moments when I am both, but I find the taekwondo moms of public school kids are worse, and they aren't even students in the class like I am haha.

 I struggle so hard to let them be their own person.  But, yeah, every once in a while it comes out of me.  I had to bite my tongue a lot tonight to keep from getting into the fray.

You take Taekwondo?  That is so cool!

 

 

Ooh. I tend to tell my son what he should be doing in TKD if he's way off. Our school simply does NOT have enough discipline. Mine will get it in his head to just go start kicking the standing bag when he's supposed to be doing poomse. Nobody will say anything. Why? I have no idea, but there's just no room in our dojang for that crap to be happening.

 

Overall I tend to me more of a helicopter parent than I should because I swear DS is in his own little world sometimes. I have to tell him again and again, "Make sure you listen." (This is before the class. He just decides to do his own thing!)  I have to try to "hover close" to some things so I get information we should have because he conveniently wasn't listening or "forgets." He's 10 and flighty. *Sigh* I try to be better and let go for some things, but for others it just doesn't work.


 

Jinx - Homeschooling, Scouting & Karate butt-kicking  Mom to Star Scout Ian 1/98, Scout Sean 9/00, Junior GS Heidi 4/03. Wife to Joe & Alpha to German Shepherd Spazz.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)