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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

"I'm starting to think I want to go back to public school." --quoted my 9 yr old to my neighbor

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Well, sorry, son.   It's not up to you.    We started homeschooling because of academics, social problems, behavior problems, religious reasons, etc...

Now, more than ever, your father and I are a hundred and twenty nine percent sold on homeschooling all the way up to college.

I need to find time to discuss this with him, though, because he said it for a reason.   I'd l ike to know a little from his heart why he feels this way.  


 






by on Aug. 30, 2013 at 2:56 PM
Replies (11-14):
celticdragon77
by on Aug. 30, 2013 at 8:43 PM
2 moms liked this

This is our first year return to homeschooling. My kids have done the whole public school thing and WANTED to be homeschooled. My daughter especially has no interest in public school. My son has more mixed feelings - he would prefer public school. However, he down right refuses to go without his sister doing so (that isn't going to happen anytime soon). 

A few days ago, my ex comes over and tells the kids that their cousin has returned back to school. Their little hearts dropped a little, I could just see it. I heard my son ask sadly... "So everyone has returned to public school now"? His voice almost cracked.

My heart couldn't handle that. I would rather my son go to public school and be happy. The next day, I told him that we were going to back to school shopping and I would enroll him into school. I made this choice for him because I thought maybe he was afraid to hurt my feelings and this would be good for him personally. He ran off to his room and just cried his little heart out. I went and talked to him...

It turns out that while a part of him wants to go to school a bigger part of him wants to stay home. He said that he learns more here and it is more comfortable. He just wants to be involved in something beyond just the art classes. He wants to be around other kids more often. 

I don't mean that he resents you right now - or that he ever will. There is no way for me to look into your home life or know what is in your sons heart. However, if he really doesn't want to be homeschooled and that continues to grow... he will resent homeschooling eventually. If it is just a case of him feeling that back to school vibe and feeling a bit left out of it all... then you need to find a way to help him through that. No matter what, you owe to him to listen to his heart and mind. Even if you are helpless about it. He owes it to you, to share it.

It sounds like he loves homeschooling and is just feeling the back to school blues. I could be wrong tho.

Being a mommas boy wouldnt make him any less feeling like he is missing out on something else. 

Good Luck. =)

Quoting KrissyKC:

Thank you, I agree 100%.   I'm not really feeling resentment from him, at least not between us.   I don't have favorite kids, but he's always been the "mama's boy" type and clings to me all the time... LOL!   He's so sensative and sweet.    

I also expect there are things we do for education that aren't always fun and thrilling.  There are things we just NEED to do.   However, if his general idea is negative about school, then that needs to change.

However, it makes little sense, at least 7 times a day I say, "Let's do this now," and my son jumps up to grab his stuff and says, "Oh yeah!!! I love that part!!"



Quoting celticdragon77:

It is important to get to the root of this. Homeschooling isn't worth it if it causes resentment between you both.




KrissyKC
by Silver Member on Aug. 31, 2013 at 1:07 AM
1 mom liked this

That is a great perspective.   I hadn't thought about them having a level of "back to school blues"...  I thought we were jumpin ginto the activities and that would help.

I mean, we jumped into choir, signed up for PE in the winter and spring, signed up for a field trip club, went on field trips with his best out of town friend (first real best friend he ever made, lives a little over an hour from us now)...  He is also still playing with the school kids that he's friends with on the weekends and a few times after school.

We signed up for 1 month unlimited rides at the go-cart track up the street.   We have been taking them once or twice a week for a few hours to just ride go-carts.   We did this as a "celebration" of being back at schoool.

We also took it easy trying to creep into the actual "work" and academics this year.   

I talked with him tonight and told him I noticed that he doesn't seem very happy about our school this year.   He shrugged, and I nodded and said, "Well, think about it, because tomorrow night is your (one on one time) night, and I'd like to know how you are feeling and how we can make our school time better."   He gave me an adorable smile and said, "sure mom, and then can we play the WII together?" 

Tomorrow night, I may be able to find out some more from him... or maybe we'll end up just playing Mario Kart...




Quoting celticdragon77:

This is our first year return to homeschooling. My kids have done the whole public school thing and WANTED to be homeschooled. My daughter especially has no interest in public school. My son has more mixed feelings - he would prefer public school. However, he down right refuses to go without his sister doing so (that isn't going to happen anytime soon). 

A few days ago, my ex comes over and tells the kids that their cousin has returned back to school. Their little hearts dropped a little, I could just see it. I heard my son ask sadly... "So everyone has returned to public school now"? His voice almost cracked.

My heart couldn't handle that. I would rather my son go to public school and be happy. The next day, I told him that we were going to back to school shopping and I would enroll him into school. I made this choice for him because I thought maybe he was afraid to hurt my feelings and this would be good for him personally. He ran off to his room and just cried his little heart out. I went and talked to him...

It turns out that while a part of him wants to go to school a bigger part of him wants to stay home. He said that he learns more here and it is more comfortable. He just wants to be involved in something beyond just the art classes. He wants to be around other kids more often. 

I don't mean that he resents you right now - or that he ever will. There is no way for me to look into your home life or know what is in your sons heart. However, if he really doesn't want to be homeschooled and that continues to grow... he will resent homeschooling eventually. If it is just a case of him feeling that back to school vibe and feeling a bit left out of it all... then you need to find a way to help him through that. No matter what, you owe to him to listen to his heart and mind. Even if you are helpless about it. He owes it to you, to share it.

It sounds like he loves homeschooling and is just feeling the back to school blues. I could be wrong tho.

Being a mommas boy wouldnt make him any less feeling like he is missing out on something else. 

Good Luck. =)

Quoting KrissyKC:

Thank you, I agree 100%.   I'm not really feeling resentment from him, at least not between us.   I don't have favorite kids, but he's always been the "mama's boy" type and clings to me all the time... LOL!   He's so sensative and sweet.    

I also expect there are things we do for education that aren't always fun and thrilling.  There are things we just NEED to do.   However, if his general idea is negative about school, then that needs to change.

However, it makes little sense, at least 7 times a day I say, "Let's do this now," and my son jumps up to grab his stuff and says, "Oh yeah!!! I love that part!!"



Quoting celticdragon77:

It is important to get to the root of this. Homeschooling isn't worth it if it causes resentment between you both.






celticdragon77
by on Aug. 31, 2013 at 1:13 AM

That sounds awesome!! Excellent parenting move there.  

Quoting KrissyKC:

That is a great perspective.   I hadn't thought about them having a level of "back to school blues"...  I thought we were jumpin ginto the activities and that would help.

I mean, we jumped into choir, signed up for PE in the winter and spring, signed up for a field trip club, went on field trips with his best out of town friend (first real best friend he ever made, lives a little over an hour from us now)...  He is also still playing with the school kids that he's friends with on the weekends and a few times after school.

We signed up for 1 month unlimited rides at the go-cart track up the street.   We have been taking them once or twice a week for a few hours to just ride go-carts.   We did this as a "celebration" of being back at schoool.

We also took it easy trying to creep into the actual "work" and academics this year.   

I talked with him tonight and told him I noticed that he doesn't seem very happy about our school this year.   He shrugged, and I nodded and said, "Well, think about it, because tomorrow night is your (one on one time) night, and I'd like to know how you are feeling and how we can make our school time better."   He gave me an adorable smile and said, "sure mom, and then can we play the WII together?" 

Tomorrow night, I may be able to find out some more from him... or maybe we'll end up just playing Mario Kart...




Quoting celticdragon77:

This is our first year return to homeschooling. My kids have done the whole public school thing and WANTED to be homeschooled. My daughter especially has no interest in public school. My son has more mixed feelings - he would prefer public school. However, he down right refuses to go without his sister doing so (that isn't going to happen anytime soon). 

A few days ago, my ex comes over and tells the kids that their cousin has returned back to school. Their little hearts dropped a little, I could just see it. I heard my son ask sadly... "So everyone has returned to public school now"? His voice almost cracked.

My heart couldn't handle that. I would rather my son go to public school and be happy. The next day, I told him that we were going to back to school shopping and I would enroll him into school. I made this choice for him because I thought maybe he was afraid to hurt my feelings and this would be good for him personally. He ran off to his room and just cried his little heart out. I went and talked to him...

It turns out that while a part of him wants to go to school a bigger part of him wants to stay home. He said that he learns more here and it is more comfortable. He just wants to be involved in something beyond just the art classes. He wants to be around other kids more often. 

I don't mean that he resents you right now - or that he ever will. There is no way for me to look into your home life or know what is in your sons heart. However, if he really doesn't want to be homeschooled and that continues to grow... he will resent homeschooling eventually. If it is just a case of him feeling that back to school vibe and feeling a bit left out of it all... then you need to find a way to help him through that. No matter what, you owe to him to listen to his heart and mind. Even if you are helpless about it. He owes it to you, to share it.

It sounds like he loves homeschooling and is just feeling the back to school blues. I could be wrong tho.

Being a mommas boy wouldnt make him any less feeling like he is missing out on something else. 

Good Luck. =)

Quoting KrissyKC:

Thank you, I agree 100%.   I'm not really feeling resentment from him, at least not between us.   I don't have favorite kids, but he's always been the "mama's boy" type and clings to me all the time... LOL!   He's so sensative and sweet.    

I also expect there are things we do for education that aren't always fun and thrilling.  There are things we just NEED to do.   However, if his general idea is negative about school, then that needs to change.

However, it makes little sense, at least 7 times a day I say, "Let's do this now," and my son jumps up to grab his stuff and says, "Oh yeah!!! I love that part!!"



Quoting celticdragon77:

It is important to get to the root of this. Homeschooling isn't worth it if it causes resentment between you both.







lucsch
by on Aug. 31, 2013 at 10:37 AM

While it is right and good to acknowledge the child's feelings about something like this, that doesn't mean he should change your plans to homeschool.You are the adult and have a much better perspective and a whole lot more wisdom. It is your job to teach, protect, and raise him. Sometimes that means going against his childish wishes. An example in one of my own children's life was when my 20yo was 10yo. He begged me to allow him to quit piano lessons. Now, if he had no ability, talent, or love for it, I would have allowed it. However, I knew how much he loved playing, how naturally talented he is, and realized he just did not want to do the work of practicing. A couple of years ago, he thanked me for not allowing him to quit.

You have to make these decisions. Yes, your child is a person, but an immature one. That's why sometimes he won't be happy with your decisions. That is fine. You are his parent, not his best friend. A whole generation of kids have been ruined IMO by their parents catering to their every desire.That is a huge mistake. They grow up to be selfish, entitled people who have little work ethic.

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