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Do I sound ridiculous? I'm not really liking public school too much.

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I apologize in advance for how long this is! 

My DD started Kindergarten in the beginning of August and she is having a very hard time adjusting to it. She dreads going to school in the mornings and is always in a terrible mood in the afternoons. Almost every day it's tears because she doesn't want to go to school and tears because she doesn't want to talk about what happened in school.

About a week after school started, they moved her to a different class without telling me until after they moved her. Their reasoning because they hadn't anticipated students enrolling after the school year started and DD hadn't made any friends so they didn't see the harm in moving her to a different class. Since the classroom move, her attitude has gone majorly downhill.  She has also had issues with being bullied by a group of girls and a boy in her new class. I went to the teacher and the principal about it and they told me that they would move the girl who was doing the most of the bullying to a different seat (which as far as I know, they have) and that's all that they could do, even though she had come back home with bruises and a big old slap mark across her face. When I told them that, I was told that since she didn't tell them what happened when it happened that there was nothing they could do. To top it all off, last week the school bus driver just drove past our stop because, in her own words, she was half asleep and forgot DD was on the bus.

I mentioned to both the teacher and the principal my concerns about DD. She's been going through a lot and I mentioned that I think enrolling her in school might be too overwhelming for her. I didn't even mention the possibility of homeschooling her (which is what I really wanted to do in the first place, hence why I joined this group, but instead went along with DH and enrolled her in public school), but they immediately went into telling me that they could get her to go see the Guidance Counselor once a week and that DD needs to be in school to be around other kids and other adults. They told me that yes, DD was shy, but once she adjusts she'll be fine and that I shouldn't be so worried about it and that I'll get used to her being away from me over time. Which is so not the reason why I have these concerns, but apparently it's what they seem to think is going on.

I've been talking with DH about how I think putting her into public school wasn't the right thing to do and how I feel that the best thing for her is to be pulled out of that school and be homeschooled. He doesn't want to homeschool right now because he's worried about the cost of homeschooling and also wants me to wait to see if she adjusts better to public school since school hasn't been in session that long. He's stated that if I still feel this way in a couple of months, we'll see about pulling her out of school and homeschooling her. In the meantime, I've got an extremely irritable child who keeps begging to stay home with me and a nagging feeling in my gut that she should have never been enrolled in this school in the first place and that I should've stuck to my guns. While I agree that it could just be her adjusting to a school environment, it just doesn't seem that way to me.

Am I just being one of those clingy "I don't want to let my baby go" moms like the principal and teacher seem to believe I am, or do I have valid reasons for wanting her out of that school? Has anyone else been through something like this with their kids before they decided to homeschool? 

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by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 3:26 PM
Replies (21-24):
by Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 10:53 PM
I had problems with my sons school from day one. I put him through two years of struggling before I finally pulled him. I regret waiting so long. Do what is best for her, and you're family, period. Good luck!
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 12:06 AM

I had the same issue when my oldest started kindergarten but was scared to homeschool, not confident with my abilities and by the time I finally brought the subject up with my DH I was so relieved that he was supportive of it.  It's so hard to force your child to do something they don't want to do and personally I think the longer she goes the more emotional damage can be done especially if there has already been bullying.  With our son he wasn't shy but kept getting in trouble for being too social, talking when writing should've been done and then not finishing in time because he was too easily distracted so he wouldn't get free time and often would miss recess or have punishment (running and sitting on the bench with teacher instead of playing). This caused tears almost everytime and a note almost everyday. I'm sorry I didn't pull him out sooner (we waited until spring break) but was glad we did it then instead of saying, oh he's so close to finishing, it'll get better/easier.  Almost 2 years later he told me that one of the kids was always touching him inappropriately and I'm sure that also added to the daily tears.  Keep trying to convince your DH & look into your state laws so that when he gets on board you will be ready. Good luck.

by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 9:36 PM
Um, I could've written this myself!

I stuck it out for 3 LONG years, second guessing myself and hoping things would work out in public schools. They never did, and now my shy girl is home with me. Her attendance became a problem last year, because she'd cry that she didn't want to go... And I was just so tired of seeing her miserable.

As many others have said... Everyone has their own reasons for homeschooling. Wanting to be with your child is reason enough. =]

As for the cost... It is totally possible to homeschool for virtually nothing when they're little. For this year (2nd) I spent a month or so compiling projects, activities, websites, and book lists for a plethora of topics. We print things at home, utilize the public library, and stocked up on lots of art and "school" supplies. I want to say we've spent, total, about $75 and we're all set for the year aside from some more printing, gas for trips, and admission to places like museums and zoos.

If I were you, I'd sit down with your husband and discuss this again. Good luck!
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by Sonja on Sep. 5, 2013 at 7:39 PM
I was public schooled and hated every social minute of it! I had one brief 6 to 8 months left of a year where I was able to be homeschooled and I thrived in that environment. I was 14 at the time. I even became advanced in most subjects. I also was physically bullied in public school and the school officials told me I was a liar and wasn't even being bullied. Needless to say, I wasn't in that school much longer after that.
My advice is to talk this over with your hubby again and discuss with him the effects of this experience your daughter is going through and maybe say that you will give this until such and such a time (1 month) and if daughter isn't better physically and emotionally, you will pull her out and try homeschooling her. Your daughter's well being is more important that what someone wants for the sake of (?) whatever reason is being given. You can do this fairly cheaply as well on your own and better too since you are more invested in this than any outside influences could ever hope to dream of being.
Do some research. Use your local stores for activity books, the library, your own wonderful imagination, the world around you, your own experiences. The Internet is also a great way to find school work and or ideas. There is just do many different and available ways to teach/learn. Hopefully you find a solution that best fits your daughter.
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