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Was it difficult for you to transition to being a full time sahm? (For those who previously worked outside of the home). Was it hard giving up your career. What would you have told your old self?
by on Sep. 6, 2013 at 8:50 PM
Replies (11-18):
KickButtMama
by Shannon on Sep. 8, 2013 at 1:11 AM

I wouldn't say it was Hard, but it did feel weird for a little while. I was an aeronautical engineer so I was used to having to think in complex patterns and solve life threatening issues.....then I had a baby and I swear I forgot how to speak like an adult for a few years..lol. I even had a conundrum when I realized I didn't have the proper wardrobe to be a SAHM, business suits were no longer appropriate weekday wear..hehehe

bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 1:53 PM
1 mom liked this

 I never thought it was hard, BUT... I had a strange conversation with my FIL this weekend that now makes me not so sure.  He was (once again) telling me about teaching job opportunities in our area.  I blew my top.  I've blown my top on him before about this subject, but this time this was what rolled out of my mouth:  At this point if I want to go back to teaching in a public school, I need 18 credits which I might as well just get my damn Masters', I do not have the money lying around or the 2 years to waste getting the damn thing while I am busy doing what is best for your son's children.  So we are going to pretend that this conversation didn't happen.  Unless you have $21,000 around to loan me for my degree and have someone who can babysit my children while I take my classes.  And BTW, you may think your son is "getting overwhelmed" by this whole owning a business thing, but I gave up my entire career just so your grandchildren would have a mother invested in their lives, because your son believes that his mother was NOT invested in his."

I did not realize I was a bit bitter about leaving my career behind, but looking into going back to teaching last year made me realize there is almost no way back.  I cannot put us into that much debt for all the more I would make as a teacher, I cannot in good conscience put my kids back into PS which was harming them, and I cannot put my family through the process, so I truly am done teaching eventhough I had all this expensive training. 

So yeah, maybe parts of it were harder on me than I thought.

collinsmommy0
by Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 7:05 PM
I went back to work when DS1 was 4 months old.....then quit about a week later.

I worked 1 day a week when he was 1.

Now I have 2, a 2 year old & a 1 month old. Leaving my career kinda sucks - I was making a decent amount of money and enjoyed my job.

However, my kids are more important & I love staying home.

I keep busy, though - we leave the house like every day (errands, playground, library, kids zoo, play group, etc). I go nuts if I'm home all day & so does my toddler - we live in a small townhouse with no yard
Pukalani79
by Kristin on Sep. 9, 2013 at 12:58 AM

 It was hard.  I left working full time to being a SAHM when we moved across the country so my DH could go to school.  It was so strange for me, especially not knowing anyone.  (Then my first day home alone with my kids, my oldest got stung by a bee 3 times!) It wasn't so much the career that was difficult to give up but the paycheck and the adult conversation.  I am so glad I had that opportunity though.  I can't imagine what my life would have been if I didn't. I guess my advice would be - it is okay.  Whatever happens, it's okay.  Enjoy the heck out of those little ones, because you wont believe how fast they grow up.  Oh, and quit buying the chocolate milk mix.  It's going to end up all over the carpet more times than you want to know about. lol

lucsch
by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 11:14 AM

I would tell my old self that her identity was hiding behind the pride she had from her success as a career woman. Also, it is hard to give up financial independence. Two ways to handle that is to find something you can do from home for extra money (I have an online business) and have your spouse give you the household money to manage.

I love being a SAHM, but the day-to-day chores are not satisfying to me. Homeschooling, on the other hand, does supply that satisfaction, plus a whole lot more, that I use to get from my job.

lucsch
by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 11:25 AM


I get it! I knew there was no way back at my career, if I quit. Technology changes too quickly to take 5, 10, 18 years out of engineering, especially in software. When my dd graduates, I will be 57. Nobody wants to hire an old woman, even if I retrain!

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 I never thought it was hard, BUT... I had a strange conversation with my FIL this weekend that now makes me not so sure.  He was (once again) telling me about teaching job opportunities in our area.  I blew my top.  I've blown my top on him before about this subject, but this time this was what rolled out of my mouth:  At this point if I want to go back to teaching in a public school, I need 18 credits which I might as well just get my damn Masters', I do not have the money lying around or the 2 years to waste getting the damn thing while I am busy doing what is best for your son's children.  So we are going to pretend that this conversation didn't happen.  Unless you have $21,000 around to loan me for my degree and have someone who can babysit my children while I take my classes.  And BTW, you may think your son is "getting overwhelmed" by this whole owning a business thing, but I gave up my entire career just so your grandchildren would have a mother invested in their lives, because your son believes that his mother was NOT invested in his."

I did not realize I was a bit bitter about leaving my career behind, but looking into going back to teaching last year made me realize there is almost no way back.  I cannot put us into that much debt for all the more I would make as a teacher, I cannot in good conscience put my kids back into PS which was harming them, and I cannot put my family through the process, so I truly am done teaching eventhough I had all this expensive training. 

So yeah, maybe parts of it were harder on me than I thought.



bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 12:31 PM

 Yep, it's just something I'll have to get over.  Obviously my kids are most important, and I just have to remind myself of that.  I'd love to go back to my 22 year old self and say.... it's worth it, but get over yourself, it's about them.

I'll "only" be 50 when I am done schooling them, but most teachers like to retire between 55 and 65.

Quoting lucsch:

 

I get it! I knew there was no way back at my career, if I quit. Technology changes too quickly to take 5, 10, 18 years out of engineering, especially in software. When my dd graduates, I will be 57. Nobody wants to hire an old woman, even if I retrain!

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 I never thought it was hard, BUT... I had a strange conversation with my FIL this weekend that now makes me not so sure.  He was (once again) telling me about teaching job opportunities in our area.  I blew my top.  I've blown my top on him before about this subject, but this time this was what rolled out of my mouth:  At this point if I want to go back to teaching in a public school, I need 18 credits which I might as well just get my damn Masters', I do not have the money lying around or the 2 years to waste getting the damn thing while I am busy doing what is best for your son's children.  So we are going to pretend that this conversation didn't happen.  Unless you have $21,000 around to loan me for my degree and have someone who can babysit my children while I take my classes.  And BTW, you may think your son is "getting overwhelmed" by this whole owning a business thing, but I gave up my entire career just so your grandchildren would have a mother invested in their lives, because your son believes that his mother was NOT invested in his."

I did not realize I was a bit bitter about leaving my career behind, but looking into going back to teaching last year made me realize there is almost no way back.  I cannot put us into that much debt for all the more I would make as a teacher, I cannot in good conscience put my kids back into PS which was harming them, and I cannot put my family through the process, so I truly am done teaching eventhough I had all this expensive training. 

So yeah, maybe parts of it were harder on me than I thought.

 

 

 

wowguildmomma
by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 12:36 PM

For the first few months it was rough but mostly cause I had to give up my career and then lost my grandmother I was very close to around the same time. Also DH got me a laptop and got me to getting online some to be able to have the social interaction when I needed if even if I was locked to the house for a stretch of time.

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