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Everyone, Hold your breath with me! *Update* She changed her mind :-(

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I talked to my mom and she gave me some pretty good advice. She said Savannah is still a child and needs me to help her make good choices. (Sounds like what you guys tell me,lol) And to give her till the end of Christmas vacation to pull all her grades up to Cs. If she can't do that, then we'll have to do things my way. I'm going to be asking for weekly progress reports from all her teachers. And lastly, if we have to go to court for her attendence, all bets are off. She'll be pulled out that day.

She came home today all out of breath and excited because now she wants to stay. She told a teacher that she was going to homeschool. The teacher flipped and begged her to stay. She promised to change her schedule, give her new teachers and 1st lunch so she can hang out with her friends. Other kids who didn't have an interest in her before also wanted her to stay. It made her feel important.

Another thing, she's worried that she might miss out on some vital learning needed for high school that won't be taught in homeschool. (We were only going for 8th grade right now) When I asked, she was vauge about what information she might need. Then I asked what she learned last year that she used this year. She didn't have an answer for that either and started getting defensive. I'm sure she's made up her mind to stay at PS :-( I just can't compete with cute boys, nice teachers and fake friends.

Link to the other thread

So last night I was washing dishes with my 13yo dd and out of the blue she said, "Mom, I want to homeschool." You could have knocked me over with a feather,lol.

So I asked her why. She said the teachers are mean, she has no friends (all of her friends live on our street, everyone is stuck up, her classes are boring, she hates getting up so early to get ready to try and impress people she doesn't even like, she hates the uniforms and she's not learning anything. Poor baby is on her third year of remedial math and said if she has to learn about basic operations one more time she's going to scream! lol

I assured her that if she did come home, things would be much different. Then I gave her a quick run down of what we would do including outside school activities. She begged me to pull her out right now. I told her to give it to the end of the week to make sure it's really something she wants. She was in tears when I told her that. It was the hardest thing to make her go today :-(

So everyone, cross your fingers with me. If all goes well, I'll have DD homeschooling by next week!fingers crossed

by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 12:12 PM
Replies (31-40):
usmom3
by BJ on Sep. 11, 2013 at 9:58 PM

 I like your plan too! I also agree that teacher was way out of bounds. I hate to think it but I suspect she will be wanting to homeschool again the moment something goes wrong at school with the superficial friends!

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Sep. 11, 2013 at 10:32 PM

You know, I don't doubt that she will too. What do you think I should do if that happens?

Quoting usmom3:

 I like your plan too! I also agree that teacher was way out of bounds. I hate to think it but I suspect she will be wanting to homeschool again the moment something goes wrong at school with the superficial friends!


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

usmom3
by BJ on Sep. 11, 2013 at 10:38 PM

 If that happens I think that would be the best time for a conversation about what a real friend is vs a superficial one & help her understand that 1 true friend is better then 100's of superficial ones. And also take that opportunity to talk about how we should do the things that are best for us no matter what others think that may be.

Quoting paganbaby:

You know, I don't doubt that she will too. What do you think I should do if that happens?

Quoting usmom3:

 I like your plan too! I also agree that teacher was way out of bounds. I hate to think it but I suspect she will be wanting to homeschool again the moment something goes wrong at school with the superficial friends!


 

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Sep. 11, 2013 at 10:44 PM

Good advice :-) But should I pull her out if she asks again before the end of the semester? She keeps flip floping on this subject :-/

Quoting usmom3:

 If that happens I think that would be the best time for a conversation about what a real friend is vs a superficial one & help her understand that 1 great true friend is better then 100's of superficialones. And also take that opportunity to talk about how we should do the things that are best for us no matter what others think that may be.

Quoting paganbaby:

You know, I don't doubt that she will too. What do you think I should do if that happens?

Quoting usmom3:

 I like your plan too! I also agree that teacher was way out of bounds. I hate to think it but I suspect she will be wanting to homeschool again the moment something goes wrong at school with the superficial friends!


 


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

usmom3
by BJ on Sep. 11, 2013 at 10:52 PM

 If I where you I would & then do like I suggested & have her help you puck what she will use & learn. If she has a lot of control over what she learns & how she learns it, it will make the transition easier on both of you. If I where you I would try to make this more like a boss & assistant feeling situation over a teacher student one. If she feels as though she is a partner in her education & that you are listening to her needs & wants she should be more willing to work with you & be contented with being home.

Quoting paganbaby:

Good advice :-) But should I pull her out if she asks again before the end of the semester? She keeps flip floping on this subject :-/

Quoting usmom3:

 If that happens I think that would be the best time for a conversation about what a real friend is vs a superficial one & help her understand that 1 great true friend is better then 100's of superficialones. And also take that opportunity to talk about how we should do the things that are best for us no matter what others think that may be.

Quoting paganbaby:

You know, I don't doubt that she will too. What do you think I should do if that happens?

Quoting usmom3:

 I like your plan too! I also agree that teacher was way out of bounds. I hate to think it but I suspect she will be wanting to homeschool again the moment something goes wrong at school with the superficial friends!


 


 

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Sep. 11, 2013 at 11:47 PM

I really like that. She can help put together her schedule and collect our materials. But once I do get her home, she has to stay! No back and forth this year.

Quoting usmom3:

 If I where you I would & then do like I suggested & have her help you puck what she will use & learn. If she has a lot of control over what she learns & how she learns it, it will make the transition easier on both of you. If I where you I would try to make this more like a boss & assistant feeling situation over a teacher student one. If she feels as though she is a partner in her education & that you are listening to her needs & wants she should be more willing to work with you & be contented with being home.

Quoting paganbaby:

Good advice :-) But should I pull her out if she asks again before the end of the semester? She keeps flip floping on this subject :-/

Quoting usmom3:

 If that happens I think that would be the best time for a conversation about what a real friend is vs a superficial one & help her understand that 1 great true friend is better then 100's of superficialones. And also take that opportunity to talk about how we should do the things that are best for us no matter what others think that may be.

Quoting paganbaby:

You know, I don't doubt that she will too. What do you think I should do if that happens?

Quoting usmom3:

 I like your plan too! I also agree that teacher was way out of bounds. I hate to think it but I suspect she will be wanting to homeschool again the moment something goes wrong at school with the superficial friends!


 


 


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

mem82
by Platinum Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 10:19 AM

8(

TJandKarasMom
by Debbie on Sep. 12, 2013 at 11:12 AM
I think your mom gave great advice. And so did usmom3. That is what I could go with if I were in your situation. I think that teacher crossed a line and made a bunch of promises she may not be able to keep.

Good luck, I hope it ends up being a decision she is on board with, but I do think this decision is yours to make, not hers. If she wants to be responsible enough to make a major decision about her education then she has to be responsible enough to keep her grades up.
paganbaby
by Silver Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 11:52 AM

Me too. But I have a funny feeling she wants me to make it for her. I told her again today that if she continues being tardy and I get a phone call from the school, she'll have to homeschool. I don't want it to get to the point where we have to go to court in the first place.

What was her reaction? She walked slowly around the house, getting her stuff together and we left late.

Quoting TJandKarasMom:

I think your mom gave great advice. And so did usmom3. That is what I could go with if I were in your situation. I think that teacher crossed a line and made a bunch of promises she may not be able to keep.

Good luck, I hope it ends up being a decision she is on board with, but I do think this decision is yours to make, not hers. If she wants to be responsible enough to make a major decision about her education then she has to be responsible enough to keep her grades up.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

TJandKarasMom
by Debbie on Sep. 12, 2013 at 12:26 PM

As much as she wants to be an adult, she is still a child. And she NEEDS you to make the important decisions.  I feel this way about my son choosing to visit his dad or not.  I don't think it is a decision for him to make, but his dad allows him to.  I think it kind of shows DS that dad doesn't really care to see him or not, that is why he lets DS decide-but dad sees it as giving DS the option in case there is something he would rather do here. 

So while your DD wants to make the decision because she feels she is old enough-deep down she needs you to make it and you making it will show that you actually do care about her.  My DS was not 100% onboard with hsing.  But we made the decision for him because we feel it is the best option at this point for both kids.

I bet she doesn't want to admit she wants to stay home for a couple reasons 1)why would she want to admit that you are right? 2)the teacher is making promises that sound great in the moment 3)other kids showing an interest in her made her get some attention she was probably craving from them....but chances are she does want to be home since she is showing you she doesn't seem to care if she is late.  It sounds like she does want to be home but then she is confused by what happened with the teacher and "friends" so she needs you to decide for her.  It was a lot easier for DS to say "my mom is making me hs" than to admit to his friends that hs is better for him..if that makes sense.


Quoting paganbaby:

Me too. But I have a funny feeling she wants me to make it for her. I told her again today that if she continues being tardy and I get a phone call from the school, she'll have to homeschool. I don't want it to get to the point where we have to go to court in the first place.

What was her reaction? She walked slowly around the house, getting her stuff together and we left late.

Quoting TJandKarasMom:

I think your mom gave great advice. And so did usmom3. That is what I could go with if I were in your situation. I think that teacher crossed a line and made a bunch of promises she may not be able to keep.

Good luck, I hope it ends up being a decision she is on board with, but I do think this decision is yours to make, not hers. If she wants to be responsible enough to make a major decision about her education then she has to be responsible enough to keep her grades up.




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