Thinking in the open, here, would like your thoughts, too!
If your children go to the stores with you and to the gas stations with you and to the libraries and the parks and to visit with other family members or if it is just you visiting, then your children are going to pick up the "skills" needed to know HOW to behave and HOW to interact With others--child or adult. Kids do not learn from other kids how to behave the "responsible" way from other kids. That is learned from watching other adults to other adults or from other adults to other children. Including siblings and whatnots.
I am not trying to offend anyone here but in my experience of seeing not just my kids learning negative behaviors but other kids as well, has not been positive. I thank God that my kids have never stepped foot inside if a brick and mortar otherwise I would have been fighting these nasty behaviors much longer and may not ever have been able to regain a positive foothold in their behavior patterns. As it is I am still working on getting rid of what they have and are learning from their "socializing" with friends. As adults it is their responsibility for their behavior but as a child, it is My responsibility. One which I take quite seriously.
In my humble opinion, your daughter is better for having learned from you the responsibility of knowing HOW to "socialize" with others.
We live in a fairly rural area of Central Calif. I choose to drive the kids up to the next county for an excellent Charter/Homeschool program which provides us with as many outside experiences as we can handle. They do band, compete in Science Olympiad, attend art workshops, etc... The downside is having to drive an hour each way to get to these events. I looked around until I found a program that fit for our family. The kids they do hang out with are other homeschooled families...so while they do not have the day to day interaction of a classroom they still see other kids 1-3 times per week. Try looking further from home if you can't find it in your own backyard.
Thanks for taking the time to respond! It does give me something to think about. I was just concerned that she never gets to see anyone other than about five people, all adults, but 90% of the time it's just me. I don't think she needs kids to teach her how to behave, I was just looking for playmates or even friends because I think friends are important. She has no friends and no chance to make any unless I make arrangements for her to be around other kids (and this is where I am having a problem-finding other kids). She doesn't get to play with other kids except on rare occasions. We go to the store twice per month, we don't go to the post office or anywhere else really. Are your feelings that if she doesn't ever get to play with other kids or see anyone other than DH and I (and occasionally a grandparent) she will be fine?
Quoting kirbymom:
I raised my 4 oldest without the "benefits" of socializing with other kids until they were older and now I wished I had NEVER let them "socialize" with other kids until they were graduated. The negatives my kids learned are still haunting our family! The "benefits" of "socializing" do not out weigh any positives they may have encountered. Now the reverse is true, though. Parents are reaping the benefits if their kids hangin with my kids. To the degree that my kids have picked up such behaviors that they have been grounded for whereas they would never have acted in such negative manners if they had never come into contact with these negative behaviors in the first place.
If your children go to the stores with you and to the gas stations with you and to the libraries and the parks and to visit with other family members or if it is just you visiting, then your children are going to pick up the "skills" needed to know HOW to behave and HOW to interact With others--child or adult. Kids do not learn from other kids how to behave the "responsible" way from other kids. That is learned from watching other adults to other adults or from other adults to other children. Including siblings and whatnots.
I am not trying to offend anyone here but in my experience of seeing not just my kids learning negative behaviors but other kids as well, has not been positive. I thank God that my kids have never stepped foot inside if a brick and mortar otherwise I would have been fighting these nasty behaviors much longer and may not ever have been able to regain a positive foothold in their behavior patterns. As it is I am still working on getting rid of what they have and are learning from their "socializing" with friends. As adults it is their responsibility for their behavior but as a child, it is My responsibility. One which I take quite seriously.
In my humble opinion, your daughter is better for having learned from you the responsibility of knowing HOW to "socialize" with others.
I was wondering about that- if I can find a co-op or some group in a different county if it would be allowed. I know nothing about homechooling and I was thinking I had to stick with co-ops in my own county. But since it's looking like there aren't any, I thought about looking in the next county over.
Quoting craftyzenmom:We live in a fairly rural area of Central Calif. I choose to drive the kids up to the next county for an excellent Charter/Homeschool program which provides us with as many outside experiences as we can handle. They do band, compete in Science Olympiad, attend art workshops, etc... The downside is having to drive an hour each way to get to these events. I looked around until I found a program that fit for our family. The kids they do hang out with are other homeschooled families...so while they do not have the day to day interaction of a classroom they still see other kids 1-3 times per week. Try looking further from home if you can't find it in your own backyard.
Wow, it's amazing to me that preschool girls need to get their hair and nails done. And it sounds like their moms were never going to be fair about the bullying, so sorry you had that experience!
Thanks for your response- I had forgotten about the library. I think they have some kind of story hour for kids who are 3 or 4 years old, I'll have to check the age requirements for that. I wish I could find a church pre K, that would be ideal.
Quoting KrissyKC:I did preschool for my kids. One, I sorta regretted because it turned out being very ... I can't think of another word except to say "worldly"... my daughter got bullied a little because she didn't go to salons to get her nails or hair done like the other little girls. Some of the girls would try to hurt her, and if they got hurt instead, they'd go tell their teacher (many of them had moms that worked there, so they often told "mommy") and my daughter got accused of stuff she just never would have thought of doing....
But... the other two kids, they had terrific experiences. One was through the school district (free in the town we lived in) and the other was at a small church run prek.
On the whole, we loved the preschool experience.
However, don't worry too much about socialization. They don't REALLY need 24/7 opportunities to learn to socialize. Get involved with a mom's group or co-op, and you will find more than enough opportunities for her to get involved with other kids.
The other side of socialization is helping her be independent. Like, don't hover over her when she talks to people. Allow her to socialize with adults in line at the grocery store, let her pay for something on her own... basically just life skills. Take her to the post office instead of ordering stamps online ane let her go up to the counter and order the stamps you need. ETc...
When she begins writing, even a pen pal will help with socialization. Email friends or snail mail works.
Sports groups or other fun classes are another help, too. The libraries usually offer read alouds, lego club days, reading groups for kids, and other programs for kids.
I did Google and found one group about an hour away- a socialization group for the parents. They get together and do things like movie nights and bowling and things. I am hoping one of them will have a young DD like mine so maybe we can set something up.
Quoting KrissyKC:OH, to find homeschool co-ops in my area, I just googled "homeschool groups" and my county or city.
We have a ton because we are outside of st Louis, however, we have lived more rural before. There were even two different groups I could have joined when we lived in a very small/country town.
Thank you!
Quoting coala:I honesty looked on yahoo and found an amazing group of HS families in my area. I also live in a large city. We will be moving to a much more rural area soon and I am going to have to locate another group when we get there. All I can think of for you is that her education is SO much more important than her socialization per se. You can find just about anything for classes. We frequent the roller skating rink and take swimming lessons. These are places my kids are free to hang out with kids of ALL ages and not have me hovering over them. I wish you luck.
I would like to find a church, that would be a nice place for her to see kids. I am not aware of any sports that she can join at her age, but maybe when she gets older. We don't really have a neighborhood, so I'd be having to drive her somewhere to see people. I can look into volunteering,though, I never thought of that. Thank you!
Quoting Bleacheddecay:Look up mommy and me type of groups.
If you are open to going to a church that's another way to hang with kids.
Any sport or class for that age is another way.
Volunteering is another way, even just talking with people in your neighborhood is a way.
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Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 5:27 PMThe reason I'd be sacrificing is that in my DD's case I can't seem to get her around other kids unless I enroll her in some kind of preschool. There is just nothing else around me. We don't have a skating rink or a pool or parks, it's just little towns. I am not finding any co-ops in my county and the nearest mommy and me type thing is 45 minutes away. I am just starting my homeschooling and this is all new, so I was just putting out feelers to see what other people do to get their kids around other kids.