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Why don't you get a "real" job?

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My almost 14 year old is REALLY pushing my buttons.

On the way to school today we were talking about how nice it would be to have my own car so we can go on trips without having to rely on Dad. (That man procrastinates and we never go anywhere)

Then DD asked "Well, why don't you get a job?"

Me, "I do work."

DD "No, I mean like a real job."

Me, "Oh sure!" "Just let me put your brother in public school and I'll get right on it."

DD, "Why don't you?"

Me, "Are you really asking me this?"  "He can't function in public school." "You know that."

DD "No I don't." "Maybe you just don't want to work."

At this point, we're at the front gate. She gives me a quick hug and leaves. I'm standing there in shock. Where did this come from??

by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 12:07 PM
Replies (11-20):
BatMom.
by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 2:38 PM
Whoa..I wonder why she would say that. Maybe someone or something is influencing her views on it somehow?
paganbaby
by Silver Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 2:38 PM

I want her to homeschool so bad. She flat out refuses. So the deal we have is that she has to get her Fs up to Cs by the end of Christmas break or I'll take her out.

Quoting Jenn8604:

Maybe she's jealous he gets more of your attention already and he's homeschooled and gets EVEN MORE of your attention and it's getting to her. Offer to homeschool her too (I'm sure u have, but offer again).
By 8th grade I did all my work on my own unless I had math problems I took to my dad or an occasional English or Science question I took to my mom. She'd be able to finish in half the time and have more time to do stuff she wants and spend more time with you.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 2:40 PM

She did mention mainstreaming her brother... That's an odd choice of words for dd. You know what? She was talking to a special ed teacher the other day. What do you want to bet that teacher put a bug in her ear? 

Dammit. I am Really not liking this school.

Quoting BatMom.:

Whoa..I wonder why she would say that. Maybe someone or something is influencing her views on it somehow?


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 2:43 PM

Oh, your poor husband :-( Why did he need a babysitter in highschool??

I can tell her if I did work, she wouldn't be seeing a lot of me. And we still wouldn't have any money because i woukd have to hire a private tutor for her brother plus a baby sitter to watch him while I'm at work. It's a no win situation.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 I'd remind her of the things she wouldn't have if you had a "real job."  My hubby's mom worked and my mom didn't, he is constantly blowing my mind with the things he didn't have that I totally took for granted.  His mom dragged him to a sitter (clear into high school) before school to get onto the bus.  She wasn't there when he got home, but she sure had a long list of jobs he needed to do.  Supper was at 8:30 each night because she didn't trust him to make food and wouldn't allow him to eat before them.  He went to the sitter during school holidays (even in high school).  I'm sure you can come up with things that she would miss.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

BatMom.
by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 2:43 PM
Ohhhh no. I hope that isn't the case!
Uh oh..you've had other problems with the school?


Quoting paganbaby:

She did mention mainstreaming her brother... That's an odd choice of words for dd. You know what? She was talking to a special ed teacher the other day. What do you want to bet that teacher put a bug in her ear? 

Dammit. I am Really not liking this school.

Quoting BatMom.:

Whoa..I wonder why she would say that. Maybe someone or something is influencing her views on it somehow?


paganbaby
by Silver Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 2:48 PM

Yeah. She did want to come home but a teacher there convinced her to stay by offering to change her lunch to her friend's lunch period. And change her classes so she'll have nicer teachers, and switch her PE class so it's not in the morning. Basiclly bribing her. I was so ticked off.

Quoting BatMom.:

Ohhhh no. I hope that isn't the case!
Uh oh..you've had other problems with the school?


Quoting paganbaby:

She did mention mainstreaming her brother... That's an odd choice of words for dd. You know what? She was talking to a special ed teacher the other day. What do you want to bet that teacher put a bug in her ear? 

Dammit. I am Really not liking this school.

Quoting BatMom.:

Whoa..I wonder why she would say that. Maybe someone or something is influencing her views on it somehow?



Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

BatMom.
by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 2:50 PM
WOW. I'm at a loss for words. I can't believe they'd actually do that!

Quoting paganbaby:

Yeah. She did want to come home but a teacher there convinced her to stay by offering to change her lunch to her friend's lunch period. And change her classes so she'll have nicer teachers, and switch her PE class so it's not in the morning. Basiclly bribing her. I was so ticked off.

Quoting BatMom.:

Ohhhh no. I hope that isn't the case!

Uh oh..you've had other problems with the school?




Quoting paganbaby:

She did mention mainstreaming her brother... That's an odd choice of words for dd. You know what? She was talking to a special ed teacher the other day. What do you want to bet that teacher put a bug in her ear? 

Dammit. I am Really not liking this school.

Quoting BatMom.:

Whoa..I wonder why she would say that. Maybe someone or something is influencing her views on it somehow?



paganbaby
by Silver Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 2:55 PM
1 mom liked this

Me either! But you know it doesn't matter. She is coming home, it's just a matter of when.

Quoting BatMom.:

WOW. I'm at a loss for words. I can't believe they'd actually do that!

Quoting paganbaby:

Yeah. She did want to come home but a teacher there convinced her to stay by offering to change her lunch to her friend's lunch period. And change her classes so she'll have nicer teachers, and switch her PE class so it's not in the morning. Basiclly bribing her. I was so ticked off.

Quoting BatMom.:

Ohhhh no. I hope that isn't the case!

Uh oh..you've had other problems with the school?




Quoting paganbaby:

She did mention mainstreaming her brother... That's an odd choice of words for dd. You know what? She was talking to a special ed teacher the other day. What do you want to bet that teacher put a bug in her ear? 

Dammit. I am Really not liking this school.

Quoting BatMom.:

Whoa..I wonder why she would say that. Maybe someone or something is influencing her views on it somehow?




Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

mem82
by Platinum Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 3:02 PM

Honestly, I would get the kid some toilet paper.

Quoting paganbaby:

That could be it. She's always wanted the high life. I know me staying home makes finances tighter but I do the best I can for her. She goes on trips with the church, I have her involved with the teen center, they also do trips and volunteer work, and I put her in dance. Growing up she was always in different classes and sports. My aunt would take her on trips out of state and show her a different way of life.

But that's not enough for her. She wants what she perceives as "normal". Two parents who work, toilet paper, store bought cleaning supplies, public school, a mom who shaves and store bought lunchables. EVERYTHING doesn't have to be homemade mom! Fortunately or unfortunately, our life isn't like that. 

Quoting mem82:

Maybe she is feeling jealous of the fact that her brother's issues have shortchanged her experiences and made things difficult for the family?

I'm not saying she is right but being almost 14 she is starting to understand how the world works. She is starting to understand that jobs=money=luxuries like second cars=better social life for her/ less stress on the family which means better family life for her.

Also, I assume her brother probably needs more of your time than she gets. If he is disruptive, she might be feeling a bit resentful.



bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 3:03 PM

 His younger brother is 7 years younger than he is, since she had to hire a babysitter anyway she sent him too.  But personally I think she just never trusted him.  Before DH and I were married she told me all about how she had to search my little BIL's room for "porn and other no-no's" (seriously if I knew what part of my brain those images were in, I'd go in with a melon-baller and remove them.) At that point he was 16 years old and I do not believe in searching a teens room without probable cause, so IMO she just never trusts her children.

Anywhoo...That might help explain that her brother's well-being is very important.  But I would ask her where she got that question.  I agree with the PP that it was planted. 

Quoting paganbaby:

Oh, your poor husband :-( Why did he need a babysitter in highschool??

I can tell her if I did work, she wouldn't be seeing a lot of me. And we still wouldn't have any money because i woukd have to hire a private tutor for her brother plus a baby sitter to watch him while I'm at work. It's a no win situation.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 I'd remind her of the things she wouldn't have if you had a "real job."  My hubby's mom worked and my mom didn't, he is constantly blowing my mind with the things he didn't have that I totally took for granted.  His mom dragged him to a sitter (clear into high school) before school to get onto the bus.  She wasn't there when he got home, but she sure had a long list of jobs he needed to do.  Supper was at 8:30 each night because she didn't trust him to make food and wouldn't allow him to eat before them.  He went to the sitter during school holidays (even in high school).  I'm sure you can come up with things that she would miss.


 

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