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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

Why don't you get a "real" job?

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My almost 14 year old is REALLY pushing my buttons.

On the way to school today we were talking about how nice it would be to have my own car so we can go on trips without having to rely on Dad. (That man procrastinates and we never go anywhere)

Then DD asked "Well, why don't you get a job?"

Me, "I do work."

DD "No, I mean like a real job."

Me, "Oh sure!" "Just let me put your brother in public school and I'll get right on it."

DD, "Why don't you?"

Me, "Are you really asking me this?"  "He can't function in public school." "You know that."

DD "No I don't." "Maybe you just don't want to work."

At this point, we're at the front gate. She gives me a quick hug and leaves. I'm standing there in shock. Where did this come from??

by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 12:07 PM
Replies (41-50):
AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 10:23 PM
... But you'll buy her something for her vagina? Have you given her the option of not having conditioner in exchange for toilet paper?


Quoting paganbaby:

No. I refuse to spend money on something that she's going to wipe her butt with. I already compromised by buying her disposable tampons, shampoo, conditioner, disposable razors, all kinds of things I don't personally use.

Yeah, I wasn't a very nice one either,lol.

Quoting AutymsMommy:


What she said.

What the kid said is completely not okay... but sometimes kids just want to be "normal" and I think that's completely OKAY.

I was a nasty, horrible teenager :P


Quoting mem82:

Honestly, I would get the kid some toilet paper.

Quoting paganbaby:

That could be it. She's always wanted the high life. I know me staying home makes finances tighter but I do the best I can for her. She goes on trips with the church, I have her involved with the teen center, they also do trips and volunteer work, and I put her in dance. Growing up she was always in different classes and sports. My aunt would take her on trips out of state and show her a different way of life.

But that's not enough for her. She wants what she perceives as "normal". Two parents who work, toilet paper, store bought cleaning supplies, public school, a mom who shaves and store bought lunchables. EVERYTHING doesn't have to be homemade mom! Fortunately or unfortunately, our life isn't like that. 

Quoting mem82:

Maybe she is feeling jealous of the fact that her brother's issues have shortchanged her experiences and made things difficult for the family?

I'm not saying she is right but being almost 14 she is starting to understand how the world works. She is starting to understand that jobs=money=luxuries like second cars=better social life for her/ less stress on the family which means better family life for her.

Also, I assume her brother probably needs more of your time than she gets. If he is disruptive, she might be feeling a bit resentful.








usmom3
by BJ on Sep. 12, 2013 at 10:46 PM

 Sounds to me like she is upset about something & is lashing out at you about it. It could be she wants things she thinks you could afford if you worked or she thinks that others at school might talk about her because you don't work & their Mom's do.

Joann.HS
by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 11:12 PM
Her making the why don't you work comment really may make sense in her world. You guys were discussing the problem -of one car- and she gave her solution. Job=$=car lol. Im not saying its right...
I don't think kids grasp what we sacrifice as homeschooling parents.

I respect the family cloth, but I would give her the option of toilet paper and access to other hygiene products she feels comfortable with.

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 11:48 PM

That's after a year of her using cloth pads. She begged me so I finally broke down and bought her some.

And that is an excelent idea! I just asked her right now and she yelled conditioner! Then I asked if she would trade tampons for toilet paper and again she said no!

Quoting AutymsMommy:

... But you'll buy her something for her vagina? Have you given her the option of not having conditioner in exchange for toilet paper?


Quoting paganbaby:

No. I refuse to spend money on something that she's going to wipe her butt with. I already compromised by buying her disposable tampons, shampoo, conditioner, disposable razors, all kinds of things I don't personally use.

Yeah, I wasn't a very nice one either,lol.

Quoting AutymsMommy:


What she said.

What the kid said is completely not okay... but sometimes kids just want to be "normal" and I think that's completely OKAY.

I was a nasty, horrible teenager :P


Quoting mem82:

Honestly, I would get the kid some toilet paper.

Quoting paganbaby:

That could be it. She's always wanted the high life. I know me staying home makes finances tighter but I do the best I can for her. She goes on trips with the church, I have her involved with the teen center, they also do trips and volunteer work, and I put her in dance. Growing up she was always in different classes and sports. My aunt would take her on trips out of state and show her a different way of life.

But that's not enough for her. She wants what she perceives as "normal". Two parents who work, toilet paper, store bought cleaning supplies, public school, a mom who shaves and store bought lunchables. EVERYTHING doesn't have to be homemade mom! Fortunately or unfortunately, our life isn't like that. 

Quoting mem82:

Maybe she is feeling jealous of the fact that her brother's issues have shortchanged her experiences and made things difficult for the family?

I'm not saying she is right but being almost 14 she is starting to understand how the world works. She is starting to understand that jobs=money=luxuries like second cars=better social life for her/ less stress on the family which means better family life for her.

Also, I assume her brother probably needs more of your time than she gets. If he is disruptive, she might be feeling a bit resentful.









Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 11:54 PM

But she of all people should understand why I stay home. She lives with her brother.

Quoting usmom3:

 Sounds to me like she is upset about something & is lashing out at you about it. It could be she wants things she thinks you could afford if you worked or she thinks that others at school might talk about her because you don't work & their Mom's do.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

Kenre
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 12:03 AM
I have a job and every morning my 2 year old says, "No wake up. No work today, mommy." He loves the days I tell him I am staying home with him.

My dad worked two or three jobs while my mom stayed home stuck in bed.

I envy a mother who can be home with their kids and actually is there for them. I always said I would be that mom. I hate leaving my kids at my sister's 6 days a week. Working 10 hour shifts and only knowing my kids an hour a day.

I would tell your daughter she is so lucky you don't have a "real" job.
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mem82
by Platinum Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 12:11 AM
1 mom liked this
No, you are looking at it from an adult perspective. Just because she lives with her brother doesn't mean she can or will make such a leap. Plenty of kids worse than he go to school and she is aware of that. She is still a child even if she can be adult in some ways. Don't let yourself fall into the trap of making her be a grown up when she isn't or punish/be angry that she doesn't come to the same conclusions a mother would. She has a certain right to feel the way she does. Your anger or annoyance doesn't help her with that. It only reinforces the unfairness.

Quoting paganbaby:

But she of all people should understand why I stay home. She lives with her brother.

Quoting usmom3:

 Sounds to me like she is upset about something & is lashing out at you about it. It could be she wants things she thinks you could afford if you worked or she thinks that others at school might talk about her because you don't work & their Mom's do.


MammaG08
by Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 7:41 AM

Isn't she the one that recently asked to be homeschooled herself? 

bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 7:49 AM

 

Quoting MammaG08:

Isn't she the one that recently asked to be homeschooled herself? 

 She did, but then a teacher convinced her by basically changing her schedule and giving her all kinds of perks to stay in ps. 

OP-- Do you think this teacher said something about weirdness or strangeness of homschoolers?  Do you think that your daughter got thinking about all the "strangeness" (ie not mainstream things) in your home?  It can be very powerful when a teacher puts those ideas in there.  We had a PS teacher who tried that with out oldest because he carries a handkerchief instead of using tissues, didn't use hand sanitizer but instead *gasp* washed his hands, and then we had goats---oh the horrors!  LOL

Ecoseem
by Member on Sep. 14, 2013 at 3:30 PM

I'd guess that she's probably hearing other people at school talk about it, because that would be the most likely place for that attitude to be encouraged.

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