Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

disrespectful attitude.....

Posted by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 7:56 PM
  • 22 Replies
Hey everyone! I need a suggestion for my 7 yr old. He is a highly emotional and sensitive boy. Lately he has been so disrespectful to me. Tge slightest thing ticks him off, usually its a sibling, sometimes when i say no, or he doesnt get his way. He gets very angery, slams doors, talks back, rolls his eyes, yells......i dont know what to do. This is new territory for me. Please help, i dont want to tolerate disrespect, but i also dont want to push aside his needs and emotions either. Please help!!!
by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 7:56 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 8:02 PM

 Have you talked to him?  I would probably try to get some one-on-one time with him, maybe out to eat or an outing just the two of you.  Then tell him you've noticed he's getting angry and yelling.  Let him know that everyone gets angry and all that but that you think there's something going on.  Then let him talk.  It works for my 8yo.

hwblyf
by Silver Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 8:06 PM
2 moms liked this

Don't tolerate the disrespect and talk to him when he's calm.  We've taken the doors off our kids' rooms for slamming the doors.  Usually the younger ones take a lot longer to care.  My older boys (10 and 9) do NOT like to have their doors taken, so they'll straighten up.  I make my kids walk up and down the stairs gently if they stomp up them, close the door quietly if they slam (if that doesn't stop it, the door goes), and talk about the facial expressions and tone of voice.  There are all kinds of things that you can give them to help them hopefully relieve some stress--teach them breathing techniques, give them a stress ball to massage in their hands, a small pillow to scream into, a place to retreat until they can handle the rest of you, etc.  Let him know the anger is ok, it's how he handles it that needs to change.  I think I've heard this takes around 30 years.  :)

fairymom82
by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 8:25 PM

We are going through this too. Only our son is 8. I am struggling with it too. We are trying several methods including self time outs and breathing techniques. So far it helps a little. 

Precious333
by Silver Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 8:31 PM
Yes.....i wait until he's calm and then we talk,.his attitude will change until the next thing that ticks him off. Ita becoming too frequent now.


Quoting bluerooffarm:

 Have you talked to him?  I would probably try to get some one-on-one time with him, maybe out to eat or an outing just the two of you.  Then tell him you've noticed he's getting angry and yelling.  Let him know that everyone gets angry and all that but that you think there's something going on.  Then let him talk.  It works for my 8yo.


Precious333
by Silver Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 8:33 PM
Maybe a stress ball will help him! The kids dont have doors on their rooms. Our house is weird, and we have a door going to the hall, which is the one frequently slammed. He also kicks the wall when hes mad.


Quoting hwblyf:

Don't tolerate the disrespect and talk to him when he's calm.  We've taken the doors off our kids' rooms for slamming the doors.  Usually the younger ones take a lot longer to care.  My older boys (10 and 9) do NOT like to have their doors taken, so they'll straighten up.  I make my kids walk up and down the stairs gently if they stomp up them, close the door quietly if they slam (if that doesn't stop it, the door goes), and talk about the facial expressions and tone of voice.  There are all kinds of things that you can give them to help them hopefully relieve some stress--teach them breathing techniques, give them a stress ball to massage in their hands, a small pillow to scream into, a place to retreat until they can handle the rest of you, etc.  Let him know the anger is ok, it's how he handles it that needs to change.  I think I've heard this takes around 30 years.  :)


bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 8:34 PM
1 mom liked this

 Then I would make him re-do whatever he had just done but in a respectful way.  Make him speak softly if he had yelled, make him answer respectfully over again, make him walk quietly down the hall and calmly close his door.  Just reminders of how we respectfully show our anger.

Quoting Precious333:

Yes.....i wait until he's calm and then we talk,.his attitude will change until the next thing that ticks him off. Ita becoming too frequent now.


Quoting bluerooffarm:

 Have you talked to him?  I would probably try to get some one-on-one time with him, maybe out to eat or an outing just the two of you.  Then tell him you've noticed he's getting angry and yelling.  Let him know that everyone gets angry and all that but that you think there's something going on.  Then let him talk.  It works for my 8yo.


 

Precious333
by Silver Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 8:34 PM
It use to help, his outbursts have gotten so bad that until he's calmed already i cant even talk tohim. He even.taught his brother to say "i hate you" :(


Quoting fairymom82:

We are going through this too. Only our son is 8. I am struggling with it too. We are trying several methods including self time outs and breathing techniques. So far it helps a little. 


Monkiebut
by Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 8:41 PM
I'm having the same issues with my 7 ur old daughter. She has anxiety and she has also been having panic attacks. I've been trying to work with her counselor but since its getting us no where I referred her to a new program :/
If you find something that works let me know and ill try it!
hwblyf
by Silver Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 9:10 PM


I've done a lot of things, and I have found no magic bullet.  BUT, things seem to have helped him, because as my oldest gets older, he's able to manage better.  When I was a student teacher, the K teachers I worked with loved Dr. Jean.  Her materials had a whole bunch of sensory bottles and such.  Essentially, use a soda bottle and fill with different things that will help captivate his attention or give him a task to do.  I remember one bottle we had for one of the kiddos was filled with puff balls, and she had to take the puff balls out.  It can be challenging, but it gives them something to focus on and work with their hands.  But if he's too frustrated, that might not be good to leap into.  You can also make a wave bottle so that when you slosh it around it does waves (colored karo and water, I think).  Glitter or confetti (think those magic wands that move slower than water, so I think it was with karo again), it's another focus activity.  Most cultures/religions have beads that give your hands something to do while you meditate/pray, you might try those.  I always found it funny that the teachers working with my kiddo thought he didn't know the rules, that it just didn't occur to them that he was literally out of control.  Give your guy something to do or focus on until he can manage to get in control again.  One of the toughest things to remember, too, is that he acts this way with you because you are his safe person.  You'll love him no matter how awful he is behaving.  And that's a magic elixir in and of itself.

Quoting Precious333:

Maybe a stress ball will help him! The kids dont have doors on their rooms. Our house is weird, and we have a door going to the hall, which is the one frequently slammed. He also kicks the wall when hes mad.


Quoting hwblyf:

Don't tolerate the disrespect and talk to him when he's calm.  We've taken the doors off our kids' rooms for slamming the doors.  Usually the younger ones take a lot longer to care.  My older boys (10 and 9) do NOT like to have their doors taken, so they'll straighten up.  I make my kids walk up and down the stairs gently if they stomp up them, close the door quietly if they slam (if that doesn't stop it, the door goes), and talk about the facial expressions and tone of voice.  There are all kinds of things that you can give them to help them hopefully relieve some stress--teach them breathing techniques, give them a stress ball to massage in their hands, a small pillow to scream into, a place to retreat until they can handle the rest of you, etc.  Let him know the anger is ok, it's how he handles it that needs to change.  I think I've heard this takes around 30 years.  :)




Precious333
by Silver Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 9:21 PM
Legos maybe?


Quoting hwblyf:


I've done a lot of things, and I have found no magic bullet.  BUT, things seem to have helped him, because as my oldest gets older, he's able to manage better.  When I was a student teacher, the K teachers I worked with loved Dr. Jean.  Her materials had a whole bunch of sensory bottles and such.  Essentially, use a soda bottle and fill with different things that will help captivate his attention or give him a task to do.  I remember one bottle we had for one of the kiddos was filled with puff balls, and she had to take the puff balls out.  It can be challenging, but it gives them something to focus on and work with their hands.  But if he's too frustrated, that might not be good to leap into.  You can also make a wave bottle so that when you slosh it around it does waves (colored karo and water, I think).  Glitter or confetti (think those magic wands that move slower than water, so I think it was with karo again), it's another focus activity.  Most cultures/religions have beads that give your hands something to do while you meditate/pray, you might try those.  I always found it funny that the teachers working with my kiddo thought he didn't know the rules, that it just didn't occur to them that he was literally out of control.  Give your guy something to do or focus on until he can manage to get in control again.  One of the toughest things to remember, too, is that he acts this way with you because you are his safe person.  You'll love him no matter how awful he is behaving.  And that's a magic elixir in and of itself.


Quoting Precious333:

Maybe a stress ball will help him! The kids dont have doors on their rooms. Our house is weird, and we have a door going to the hall, which is the one frequently slammed. He also kicks the wall when hes mad.





Quoting hwblyf:

Don't tolerate the disrespect and talk to him when he's calm.  We've taken the doors off our kids' rooms for slamming the doors.  Usually the younger ones take a lot longer to care.  My older boys (10 and 9) do NOT like to have their doors taken, so they'll straighten up.  I make my kids walk up and down the stairs gently if they stomp up them, close the door quietly if they slam (if that doesn't stop it, the door goes), and talk about the facial expressions and tone of voice.  There are all kinds of things that you can give them to help them hopefully relieve some stress--teach them breathing techniques, give them a stress ball to massage in their hands, a small pillow to scream into, a place to retreat until they can handle the rest of you, etc.  Let him know the anger is ok, it's how he handles it that needs to change.  I think I've heard this takes around 30 years.  :)







Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)