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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

So frustrating

Posted by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 11:24 AM
  • 32 Replies
1 mom liked this

How do you go about "punishing" for not doing school work right??? Im talking about a teen responsible enough to this stuff..but he just isnt applying himself. I have told him countless times that just because he is "homeschooled" doesnt mean he can slack off and get away with things. 

I have tried many methods with him, he is learning...somewhat but just not applying 100%. I set up the entire week. Tell him there will be a quiz today on certain stuff...he has 7 days to study for it, I tell him what pags it will be on....i give him everything I can think of help him...and come quiz day today he just goofs off because he "doesnt feel like doing anything today". One of the questions was for his history and it was What was the rosetta stone...his answer "a website that helps you learn languages" I ask him how that pertains to history and he says..oh i didnt know u meant the history rosetta stone.........im like REALLY this entire quiz has history vocab words matching things etc..and that is your answer...

How do you go about dealing with laziness? He also has an essay topic due next week.that HE ASKED me if he could do.....every thursday is "research day" where he works on his essay etc. And I remind him next week its due....He isnt going to have it done because he doesnt even have a draft written up yet and its 4 pages long on 2 greek gods of his choosing. (I orginally said 1, but he wanted to choose 2 so he got 2 gods, and 4 pages instead of 1 god 2 pages) I am so tired of explaining things. If i be mean about things he is going to goof right through it....

HELP im at my wits end. I need suggestions. Please.


EDITED *** he has had 4 weeks to complete this 4 page essay. He is just pure lazy..was lazy in public school and hateful and always got into trouble, so thats why i pulled him out he wasnt going anywhere period, he had done failed so many times. He is suppose to be in the 10th, but he is in the 8th according to the school district. Everything I tell him goes in one ear and out the other. Im trying to teach him responsiblity but he is being a teenager......URG 

by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 11:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
PurpleCupcake
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 11:41 AM
2 moms liked this

Just my opinion...

It sounds like you are doing public school at home. Too structured and rigid.

Have you tried being more relaxed? Unschooling? What about verbal discussions as opposed to written essays? Let him choose the subjects he wants to do? Plan for a day not a week or month? What about doing less subjects a day? Instead of 45 minutes per subject (6 subjects a day) why not do an hour and a half per subject (4 subjects per day)

Homeschool moves at a much faster pace than ps. Literally if he only wanted to do a subject twice a week he would still finish by the end of the year.

I'm willing to bet that you are teaching him the way in which you learn best. And that doesn't suit his learning style. Just a hunch, I could be wrong. 

I really wouldn't jump on the punishing bandwagon just yet because it will make things worse. Try checking into different methods of teaching and different learning styles first.

Leissaintexas
by Bronze Member on Sep. 19, 2013 at 11:48 AM
2 moms liked this
I've never been a fan of the idea that teenagers are just "that way". I expect nearly adult behavior out of a near adult. When mine was that age, my method was to tell him that if he needed that much hand-holding like a 5 yr old, then he would be treated like a 5 yr old. This included naps, early bedtimes, no TV, no privileges, certainly no phone or friends orcomputers, and constant supervision. Barring any special needs or delays, a 15 yr old, who is only 3 short years from being able to defend his country , should be more invested in his own education. Laziness is often cured by going without.
usmom3
by BJ on Sep. 19, 2013 at 11:59 AM

 This!

Quoting PurpleCupcake:

Just my opinion...

It sounds like you are doing public school at home. Too structured and rigid.

Have you tried being more relaxed? Unschooling? What about verbal discussions as opposed to written essays? Let him choose the subjects he wants to do? Plan for a day not a week or month? What about doing less subjects a day? Instead of 45 minutes per subject (6 subjects a day) why not do an hour and a half per subject (4 subjects per day)

Homeschool moves at a much faster pace than ps. Literally if he only wanted to do a subject twice a week he would still finish by the end of the year.

I'm willing to bet that you are teaching him the way in which you learn best. And that doesn't suit his learning style. Just a hunch, I could be wrong. 

I really wouldn't jump on the punishing bandwagon just yet because it will make things worse. Try checking into different methods of teaching and different learning styles first.

 

oredeb
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 12:05 PM

 i agree with purple cupcake and leissa,  he shouldnt be disrespecting you.

also how bout deschooling for a bit or have you done that? find something hes interested in, let him do the research, how old is he? 16 yet? let him take his ged and get a job

JerrysMom2011
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 12:07 PM


He is studying his GED material..thats the sad part its not like its real hard stuff yet..we are starting from the very beginning...decimals, nonfiction, egyptians etc. deschooling..? whats that?

Quoting oredeb:

 i agree with purple cupcake and leissa,  he shouldnt be disrespecting you.

also how bout deschooling for a bit or have you done that? find something hes interested in, let him do the research, how old is he? 16 yet? let him take his ged and get a job



oredeb
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 12:09 PM

 oops sorry i for got to put the link!! http://www.livingjoyfully.ca/unschooling/getting_started/what_is_deschooling.htm

Quoting JerrysMom2011:

 

He is studying his GED material..thats the sad part its not like its real hard stuff yet..we are starting from the very beginning...decimals, nonfiction, egyptians etc. deschooling..? whats that?

Quoting oredeb:

 i agree with purple cupcake and leissa,  he shouldnt be disrespecting you.

also how bout deschooling for a bit or have you done that? find something hes interested in, let him do the research, how old is he? 16 yet? let him take his ged and get a job

 

 

 

JerrysMom2011
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 12:12 PM

I have tried the non structure thing with him and that makes him more lazy. I am trying to find ways to make this stuff fun we only school for about 2 hours a day, he does and can do well when he wants to he just recently got a 100% on a english grammar test that had 60 questions (GED offical pretest) just some days he just...idk not movitvated. If I dont have some type of structure this boy would never do anything. He has had a real hard life (abuse, neglect etc) He is choosing ways he wants to do things. I have gotten him excited in reading FINALLY he loves the series that Dave Pelzer wrote called "a child called it"  He is on the next book now, and we do reading assignments from it etc. 


Quoting PurpleCupcake:

Just my opinion...

It sounds like you are doing public school at home. Too structured and rigid.

Have you tried being more relaxed? Unschooling? What about verbal discussions as opposed to written essays? Let him choose the subjects he wants to do? Plan for a day not a week or month? What about doing less subjects a day? Instead of 45 minutes per subject (6 subjects a day) why not do an hour and a half per subject (4 subjects per day)

Homeschool moves at a much faster pace than ps. Literally if he only wanted to do a subject twice a week he would still finish by the end of the year.

I'm willing to bet that you are teaching him the way in which you learn best. And that doesn't suit his learning style. Just a hunch, I could be wrong. 

I really wouldn't jump on the punishing bandwagon just yet because it will make things worse. Try checking into different methods of teaching and different learning styles first.



JerrysMom2011
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 12:17 PM

I think we have done a fair amt of this, we even just got back from a 5 day vacation, he does have all the non schooling privledges that his friends dont get cause there in school etc and he is excited about all that (he even goes socializes with them at the bus stop in the morning). We ease into stuff after breakfast, wake up routine etc. 

I feel he is using homeschooling as an excuse to be lazy. Its a "free pass" He has so much potential and can do it when he wants..he just isnt wanting to


Quoting oredeb:

 oops sorry i for got to put the link!! http://www.livingjoyfully.ca/unschooling/getting_started/what_is_deschooling.htm

Quoting JerrysMom2011:


He is studying his GED material..thats the sad part its not like its real hard stuff yet..we are starting from the very beginning...decimals, nonfiction, egyptians etc. deschooling..? whats that?

Quoting oredeb:

 i agree with purple cupcake and leissa,  he shouldnt be disrespecting you.

also how bout deschooling for a bit or have you done that? find something hes interested in, let him do the research, how old is he? 16 yet? let him take his ged and get a job



 



PurpleCupcake
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 12:21 PM

The ged stuff can be really boring sometimes. Have you tried doing documentaries for history and science? Internet games for math? Writing prompts?

Quoting JerrysMom2011:


He is studying his GED material..thats the sad part its not like its real hard stuff yet..we are starting from the very beginning...decimals, nonfiction, egyptians etc. deschooling..? whats that?

Quoting oredeb:

 i agree with purple cupcake and leissa,  he shouldnt be disrespecting you.

also how bout deschooling for a bit or have you done that? find something hes interested in, let him do the research, how old is he? 16 yet? let him take his ged and get a job




JerrysMom2011
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 12:22 PM

I like this, but wouldnt that make them lash out more??? Cant do naps he would enjoy that too much LOL. But I do agree with this, I am just afraid because of his past (I am his step mother  who has legal rights over him now since his mother abused and neglected him) its going to make him lash out worse, and we already have a pretty solid relationship and have since day 1. I am trying to use that to my advantage..but now he seems to be taking advantage of it and he is trying to "win me over' so to speak. 


Quoting Leissaintexas:

I've never been a fan of the idea that teenagers are just "that way". I expect nearly adult behavior out of a near adult. When mine was that age, my method was to tell him that if he needed that much hand-holding like a 5 yr old, then he would be treated like a 5 yr old. This included naps, early bedtimes, no TV, no privileges, certainly no phone or friends orcomputers, and constant supervision. Barring any special needs or delays, a 15 yr old, who is only 3 short years from being able to defend his country , should be more invested in his own education. Laziness is often cured by going without.



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