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Taking "breaks" from the kids...

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Is it really horrible that I haven't spent much time with my kids today? They played outside and now they are playing the Wii.  I've been lesson planning, and reading a book, and doing a puzzle, catching up on CM.  Just taking some down time.  DH is sleeping.

Soon I will make dinner and eat with the kids, then we will probably play a game before they head to bed to read.  Maybe take a walk after dinner if they want to.

Part of me feels bad.  But the other part just doesn't want to do anything today.  And I like to think it's ok to take a break now and then.  It's just been an all day break today.

Do you take breaks?  Is this an extreme break?  Do you judge me? lol

by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 4:13 PM
Replies (11-18):
by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 7:33 PM

It sounds like you're having a day like I am.  It's not like your kids are attached at your hip and they need your constant attention to survive.  In fact they need as much of a break and down time as you do, so just enjoy your relaxing day and don't worry or over think it too much :-)

by Silver Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 7:58 PM

I think breaks are healthy and neccessary for kids and parents!  Sounds like everyone still had a good day and you got to recharge! 

by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 8:03 PM

If I didn't have time like that I'd go crazy!

by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 8:09 PM
1 mom liked this

I am so glad I'm not the only one!

I used to take days like this and I workd ft and my kids were in ps.  I felt guilty then.  I didn't feel as guilty today, but still felt like I should do something with them!  But it worked out well, they are still 'playing' together, actually I would say working together right now, I have to go send them to read before bed...and I am still lesson planning...and checking cafemom, lol.  I guess I just felt lazy and like I should be doing something with them.  But I know they need that time to entertain themselves and do things on their own too.

Thanks everyone for making me feel like it IS ok...and even a bit necessary ;)

by Silver Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 11:26 PM

Substitute DD for DS and I could have wrote this. And I need to remember that last part,lol.

Quoting SusanTheWriter:

I'm a fairly solitary person by nature. Being a SAHM when my two were young made me very "touched out" for a long time. I'll be the first to admit that as much as I love my children, I enjoyed my alone time when they were in school.

DD  has been home for a year and a half and needed a lot of intense one-on-one interaction for most of it. Now that she's much healthier, I'm happy to see her branching out and becoming independent and confident on her own again.

Most of the time, I'd really love for both of them to be home (homeschooling is not a lifestyle for us, but the best solution to a problem), but now that DD is healthy, I'm also looking forward to having my days to myself next fall when she returns to school so I can clear my head to write again. I just have a really hard time getting into my creative brain space when I know that at any moment, I'll hear someone call for me, or I'll need to make sure everyone is on track and doing what they're supposed to be doing.

So far be it from me to judge anyone for taking a couple of hours on a weekend when they know their kids are cared for to kick back and enjoy some time to themselves. I think when people don't take that time, they're setting themselves up for a world of trouble when those kids leave home and they lose their focus.

For a long time, I went to a yearly writer's conference on my own and left the kids and DH to hang out together. I think I felt guilty for about 10 minutes the first time I went. Then I realized that 1) my kids were perfectly safe and probably having a ball without me and 2) I married a grown man who is capable of parenting his own children. If he wasn't, I wouldn't have had children with him. A few days of pizza and fried chicken and a messy kitchen wasn't going to hurt anyone.

Heck, we've even gone on holiday together and left the kids with their grandparents! Horrors, I know. And yet, everyone survived. The kids were hyped up on sugar when we got them back, but again, no permanent damage. Plus, they got to do things with grandma that we don't do at home. They actually learned things!

So no, I think a few hours of chilling out without a child hanging off each limb is okey-dokey. :)

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 6:49 AM

I won't judge you....if you don't judge me.

Sometimes I have to get away from the noise so I leave the kids in a safe room, go into my own room, and just lay on the bed for a few minutes.  I don't know if it is the pregnancy or what, but sometimes I just need to have a quiet place to just breathe without someone crawling on me, asking me for something, etc.  LOL

by Silver Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 9:42 AM

I am an introvert, and introverts can become drained to nothing if their need for alone time isn't met. I frequently have times when I school with as little interaction as possible, then retreat to my space for hours. Of course, mine are old enough now that this is much easier to do. Never feel guilty for meeting your own needs. No one likes a martyr. They're annoying LOL.

by Gold Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 10:16 AM

No judgement from me.  I had a mom offer to take my two last saturday between artistic lessons and speed skating practice...I totally jumped on that boat.  She offered again this past weekend and I agreed, but she had to cancel at the last minute as she had forgotten about some errands she needed to run in that short window we had...all fo 3 hours.  I take that break when I can...I don't get it often.  I have been working about 50+ hours a week for the last several weeks as well as working with my kids, playing chauffer between swimming lessons and the skating rink.  I need a vacation away from all of this and I don't see that happening anytime soon.

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