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Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

Another relationship change spinoff...

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 How has homeschooling changed your relationship with your children?

When I first opened the post about changing relationships, I thought it would be about the relationship changes that occur with our children.  Many of my friends and acquaintances say the same thing when they hear/heard that I was homeschooling.  They would say that they couldn't spend that much time with their children.  I tried to explain how my relationship changed with my children during those first few months of homeschooling.  How they learned not to say the things that they said with their friends at public school.  It didn't make me laugh.  How I learned to know when they needed a change of space, change of subject, change of schedule, or just a nap.  How we began to talk.  No I mean really talk. 

We had exhausted all of the "what did you do in school today?" conversations, because I was there for school.  So we began to talk.  I wasn't getting them dressed, fed and packed for an early morning bus ride, so there was time for questions.  I wasn't getting them in the door and seated (once again) to do an hour or more of homework while trying to fix supper.  So there was time for questions.  I found out that while I wasn't looking, these kids had developed interests and senses of humor.  I found that they had gotten a bit Geeky, just like hubby and I are.  I've grown so much closer to them, but I've also learned that I can trust them much more.  When we go out somewhere, we have already had many conversations about why their behavior in the past was unacceptable, so they not only know not to do it but why they shouldn't do it.  I just have the time to explain those things to them.  And only someone who has their children around them all day long every single day can know WHY we CAN spend so much time with our kids.  But Non-homeschoolers simply do not get it.  They feel they can't spend so much time with their children because the time they DO spend with their children is rushing, pushing, cajoling, begging, threatening, pleading, and other unpleasant experiences.  I know it was for me!!

Obvisly there are manynon-hmecholers out the hat DO get it,they r he onthat do not say " could never spend that much time with my kids!"  But there are many that do have these experiences as I did.

 

 
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 7:58 AM
Replies (31-32):
TidewaterClan
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 9:27 PM

 This is a wonderful post.  We've all relaxed so much this year.  First my younger daughter, in August when she and I began her hs journey.  The first few days during math she just panicked.  She quickly learned that she was going to have all the time, with none of the pressure, to learn her lessons and REALLY know what she was doing before moving on to the next chapter.  She and I have grown so much closer.  Her evenings are no longer filled with dread over the next day of school, and she talks to us so much more now.  I think, in part, because she's doing all the reading/answering questions/etc., during her lessons.

My older daughter just came home about three weeks ago.  She was overwhelmed and stressed at school.  This is the first time in YEARS that all of her work is done by 4:00, and she can just enjoy the evenings without homework and more homework to do.  She and her little sister are growing closer, they actually have time for extracurricular activities, and we're starting to find nearby groups so they can make some new friends too.

The whole family is actually having conversations too.  Not just about the weather, or who got in trouble in class, but real conversations about what they learned in science, the story they each read during language arts, and how they did on their tests.  They've also become more curious about the world and want to research different topics now!  I laughed and told them they want to learn just to learn.  They both denied it!

bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Sep. 24, 2013 at 8:11 AM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting TidewaterClan:

 This is a wonderful post.  We've all relaxed so much this year.  First my younger daughter, in August when she and I began her hs journey.  The first few days during math she just panicked.  She quickly learned that she was going to have all the time, with none of the pressure, to learn her lessons and REALLY know what she was doing before moving on to the next chapter.  She and I have grown so much closer.  Her evenings are no longer filled with dread over the next day of school, and she talks to us so much more now.  I think, in part, because she's doing all the reading/answering questions/etc., during her lessons.

My older daughter just came home about three weeks ago.  She was overwhelmed and stressed at school.  This is the first time in YEARS that all of her work is done by 4:00, and she can just enjoy the evenings without homework and more homework to do.  She and her little sister are growing closer, they actually have time for extracurricular activities, and we're starting to find nearby groups so they can make some new friends too.

The whole family is actually having conversations too.  Not just about the weather, or who got in trouble in class, but real conversations about what they learned in science, the story they each read during language arts, and how they did on their tests.  They've also become more curious about the world and want to research different topics now!  I laughed and told them they want to learn just to learn.  They both denied it!

 YES!!  I love hearing these stories!

When Daddy asks them what they learned in school today, they love that I can help them out.  I let them start telling him and I can nod when they are getting it right.  Plus they've gotten all this time to ruminate on it and they usually ask a few questions and before you know it we are having a long conversation about the topic instead of just a recap of the lesson!  It has brought us so much closer as a family!!

They shouldn't deny wanting to learn, that is the leftovers of a broken system!  They'll outgrow it soon.  They'll own that desire!!

Love it!!

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