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Is this a selfish reason to homeschool?

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My 6yo has been home for a three day weekend and I LOVED it. It was so nice to have her home and that made me realize, I miss her. She was the only one who didn't go to pre school so I was used to having her home with me. She was my buddy :-)

Now during the week I really don't have much time to spend with her. After school I pick up her and Michelle (a little girl I baby sit). All of us go to the REC center, do homework, eat snack, play at the park, come home cook dinner, then it's bath, teeth and bed. On the weekends I catch up on house work and run errands. I just feel like her childhood is slipping away while I'm busy doing other things.

She's doing fine in school, but I'm really, really considering pulling her out next year. The thought of sharing her day and watching her learn and grow is very appealing.

Is that selfish of me?

by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 11:13 AM
Replies (91-100):
AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 11:02 AM


What do you mean recreate a classroom? I'm genuinely curious because all of the programs I mentioned have been described by others, to me, as "too school at home" for them, lol; they are text and workbook focused, the teacher support or manuals encourage quiet study and desk space, etc.

Quoting mem82:

I don't really consider that school at home, though. I suppose I should have been more clear. 8)
If sassy was trying to completely recreate a class room in her house for a single child and it failed, that doesn't surprise me.


Quoting AutymsMommy:


I'll agree wholeheartedly that the comments about socialization are completely outdated. Most of the homeschooled children I know, socialize with age peers (and other children in general) AT LEAST once or twice a week - actively engage and socialize, I mean.

I'll disagree that "school at home" rarely works. The sheer number of happy users who are with "school at home" programs like Seton, Kolbe, Memoria Press, Abeka, etc proves that theory wrong; the sheer number of happy now-adults who graduated from programs like Kolbe and Seton proves that many children do great with school at home. Many children need that structure.


Quoting mem82:

I'm sorry but your information on homeschooling is either completely outdated by years or just wrong.

I'm sorry hsing didn't work out in your dd's case, but maybe you guys were just doing it wrong for her to be so behind and lonely.

Oh, and the therapist was really misinformed. We, home schools, are fairly used to people having the wrong impression about it because they *knew* someone who didn't like it. I know you said you did it for one child, for one year. I doubt, from your attitude, that you researched all your options or the actual theories behind hsing. I would be more than happy to explain how it works to you. 8) I have plenty of studies to back me up.

Also, homeschooling doesn't work for all kids, and school at home doesn't work well for many kids. Maybe your daughter was the exception. I imagine that if her grandmother wasn't a huge fan of homeschooling and if she was already having issues (since she had a therapist and you pulled her out of school) any schooling would have been not overly effective that year.





Quoting sassykymom4:

My sisters and brother didn't like the idea at all of HS..my sister while on leave from school and was on homebound just decided to quit and get her GED..Homeschooling takes alot of dedication. Its not as easy as most ppl think and some school districts actually require a copy if your planned coursework a semester ahead and have the right to sit in to ensure your child is being taught.


Everyone I knew that was homeschooled wished they had the school experience..


My DD was 9. We kept her home a yr. She was taught by my stepmom who has a degree in teaching primary grades and my father who was a teacher. She loved staying home but hated the loneliness..she would go to the park and watch the other kids..she would call them babies and try to Bully them when they did play with her..I talked to a tgerapist and she said it was common in children who are hs due to them spending so much time with adults and not other children. They don't see themselves as a child. When I put her back in school we had to hold her back because our homeschooling curriculum was 2 semesters behind the schools curriculum. So now she really feels like an odd child out. She's bigger and older than her classmates.


HS in our household was a horrible idea.







Quoting paganbaby:

She likes school but at this age I think she would enjoy being at home more. We talked today and she said she wanted to homeschool. She was under the impression that you only HS if you do badly in PS. I told her there are many reasons why kids HS and eplained a few.

I'm sorry you had such a hard time. That sucks. But I don't understand why were your sisters allowed to stay?

Also, how long was your dd HS and did she ever play with other kids?

Quoting sassykymom4:

I was homeschooles and I did homeschool my DD..







MY ADVICE:



Consider your DD. Does she like school? Just because you're lonely does that justify taking her away from something she loves??







I hated being homeschooled. I missed Prom and Homecomings. My father pulled me out if school because he thought public schools did more harm than good..my sisters both stayed in public school and I was jealous. To this day at 30 yrs old I wish I got to experience all the things my friends/family members did.My only friends were other homeschooled kids who were just as lonely. Or the kids in Sunday school.







My DD loved it on the other hand..but I chose to put hee back in public school after she needed speech therapy and the school denied her due to the fact that she wasn't a student..



I will be the first to say my DD has trouble making friends. To much time at home with me has caused her to think she's much more mature..to mature for kids her own age.















I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff:  we're Catholic, we're conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee















paganbaby
by Silver Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 11:05 AM

Oh, that's awful :-(

Isn't there some other arrangements she can make?

Quoting redhead-bedhead:

It's not selfish at all. It's actually a good reason to homeschool. My poor nephew has to be on his bus at 7 am and he doesn't get off until 5pm. After that he has to do homework, chores, dinner, and then bed.

My sister-in-law works 3rd shift, so she only sees him for about 4 hours a day.

I couldn't do that.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 11:07 AM

Thank you :-)

Quoting unsuspected:

No. You're her mother. You know your daughter, your home and your family better than anyone. If you are thinking about it and feeling strongly lead to that end, don't let any doubts sneak in and misdirect you.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 11:08 AM

What a unique perspective! I like that.

Quoting Tal0n:

Of course it's selfish.  But that's NOT A BAD THING.

We're taught that being selfish is right up there with pillaging and sacking villages.

It's selfish...but it's a good selfish and a perfectly sound reason to homeschool.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 11:15 AM
1 mom liked this

Ah, I see. Well, while homeschooling does take some effort, it's not as hard as some make it out to be. Our family only learns about things that are fun and interesting so homeschooling for us is a blast,lol. But that's not to say that it's right for every kid.

As for your daughter, it sounds like she had/has some other issues going on that have nothing to do with homeschooling. And that therapist is full of it. My kids are around other children (not just siblings) everyday. They play at the Rec center, the park, in the neighborhood, they take classes, my oldest goes to church and we're involved with a homeschool group. Even when they were small and just with me, they still didn't bully other kids at the park.

I do hope your dd gets better and receives the help she needs.

Quoting sassykymom4:

My sisters and brother didn't like the idea at all of HS..my sister while on leave from school and was on homebound just decided to quit and get her GED..Homeschooling takes alot of dedication. Its not as easy as most ppl think and some school districts actually require a copy if your planned coursework a semester ahead and have the right to sit in to ensure your child is being taught.
Everyone I knew that was homeschooled wished they had the school experience..
My DD was 9. We kept her home a yr. She was taught by my stepmom who has a degree in teaching primary grades and my father who was a teacher. She loved staying home but hated the loneliness..she would go to the park and watch the other kids..she would call them babies and try to Bully them when they did play with her..I talked to a tgerapist and she said it was common in children who are hs due to them spending so much time with adults and not other children. They don't see themselves as a child. When I put her back in school we had to hold her back because our homeschooling curriculum was 2 semesters behind the schools curriculum. So now she really feels like an odd child out. She's bigger and older than her classmates.
HS in our household was a horrible idea.


Quoting paganbaby:

She likes school but at this age I think she would enjoy being at home more. We talked today and she said she wanted to homeschool. She was under the impression that you only HS if you do badly in PS. I told her there are many reasons why kids HS and eplained a few.

I'm sorry you had such a hard time. That sucks. But I don't understand why were your sisters allowed to stay?

Also, how long was your dd HS and did she ever play with other kids?

Quoting sassykymom4:

I was homeschooles and I did homeschool my DD..



MY ADVICE:

Consider your DD. Does she like school? Just because you're lonely does that justify taking her away from something she loves??



I hated being homeschooled. I missed Prom and Homecomings. My father pulled me out if school because he thought public schools did more harm than good..my sisters both stayed in public school and I was jealous. To this day at 30 yrs old I wish I got to experience all the things my friends/family members did.My only friends were other homeschooled kids who were just as lonely. Or the kids in Sunday school.



My DD loved it on the other hand..but I chose to put hee back in public school after she needed speech therapy and the school denied her due to the fact that she wasn't a student..

I will be the first to say my DD has trouble making friends. To much time at home with me has caused her to think she's much more mature..to mature for kids her own age.






Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 11:16 AM

Awww, that's sweet!

Quoting fallenangel_353:

I dont think its selfish to geuinely want to be with your children... Tis why my 8 yr old is still home with me! LOL. TBH it has nothing to do with the public school system. I just want to be with my kids :) I have homeschooled him since k, now we are in 3rd. I also just started homeschooling my 5 yr old dd :)


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

mem82
by Platinum Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 11:21 AM
1 mom liked this
I feel that having a quiet work space or desk makes a lot of sense even with un schooling. I'm big on owning your space, though. My oldest loves textbooks. Lol

I am mobile so it's hard to explain in a more complete way. I think that one of the biggest misconceptions of public school is that a ton more learning gets done because they are there for 7 hours every day. I am more referring to the elementary school model, by the way. If someone goes in to homeschooling thinking that a 7 year old will sit at a desk and work ona workbook for 6 hours with a 30 minute lunch and 30 minute recess they are going to be disappointed. Most kids need more projects, different manipulative, etc, than just work books.


Quoting AutymsMommy:


What do you mean recreate a classroom? I'm genuinely curious because all of the programs I mentioned have been described by others, to me, as "too school at home" for them, lol; they are text and workbook focused, the teacher support or manuals encourage quiet study and desk space, etc.


Quoting mem82:

I don't really consider that school at home, though. I suppose I should have been more clear. 8)

If sassy was trying to completely recreate a class room in her house for a single child and it failed, that doesn't surprise me.




Quoting AutymsMommy:


I'll agree wholeheartedly that the comments about socialization are completely outdated. Most of the homeschooled children I know, socialize with age peers (and other children in general) AT LEAST once or twice a week - actively engage and socialize, I mean.

I'll disagree that "school at home" rarely works. The sheer number of happy users who are with "school at home" programs like Seton, Kolbe, Memoria Press, Abeka, etc proves that theory wrong; the sheer number of happy now-adults who graduated from programs like Kolbe and Seton proves that many children do great with school at home. Many children need that structure.



Quoting mem82:

I'm sorry but your information on homeschooling is either completely outdated by years or just wrong.


I'm sorry hsing didn't work out in your dd's case, but maybe you guys were just doing it wrong for her to be so behind and lonely.


Oh, and the therapist was really misinformed. We, home schools, are fairly used to people having the wrong impression about it because they *knew* someone who didn't like it. I know you said you did it for one child, for one year. I doubt, from your attitude, that you researched all your options or the actual theories behind hsing. I would be more than happy to explain how it works to you. 8) I have plenty of studies to back me up.


Also, homeschooling doesn't work for all kids, and school at home doesn't work well for many kids. Maybe your daughter was the exception. I imagine that if her grandmother wasn't a huge fan of homeschooling and if she was already having issues (since she had a therapist and you pulled her out of school) any schooling would have been not overly effective that year.








Quoting sassykymom4:

My sisters and brother didn't like the idea at all of HS..my sister while on leave from school and was on homebound just decided to quit and get her GED..Homeschooling takes alot of dedication. Its not as easy as most ppl think and some school districts actually require a copy if your planned coursework a semester ahead and have the right to sit in to ensure your child is being taught.



Everyone I knew that was homeschooled wished they had the school experience..



My DD was 9. We kept her home a yr. She was taught by my stepmom who has a degree in teaching primary grades and my father who was a teacher. She loved staying home but hated the loneliness..she would go to the park and watch the other kids..she would call them babies and try to Bully them when they did play with her..I talked to a tgerapist and she said it was common in children who are hs due to them spending so much time with adults and not other children. They don't see themselves as a child. When I put her back in school we had to hold her back because our homeschooling curriculum was 2 semesters behind the schools curriculum. So now she really feels like an odd child out. She's bigger and older than her classmates.



HS in our household was a horrible idea.










Quoting paganbaby:

She likes school but at this age I think she would enjoy being at home more. We talked today and she said she wanted to homeschool. She was under the impression that you only HS if you do badly in PS. I told her there are many reasons why kids HS and eplained a few.

I'm sorry you had such a hard time. That sucks. But I don't understand why were your sisters allowed to stay?

Also, how long was your dd HS and did she ever play with other kids?

Quoting sassykymom4:

I was homeschooles and I did homeschool my DD..









MY ADVICE:




Consider your DD. Does she like school? Just because you're lonely does that justify taking her away from something she loves??









I hated being homeschooled. I missed Prom and Homecomings. My father pulled me out if school because he thought public schools did more harm than good..my sisters both stayed in public school and I was jealous. To this day at 30 yrs old I wish I got to experience all the things my friends/family members did.My only friends were other homeschooled kids who were just as lonely. Or the kids in Sunday school.









My DD loved it on the other hand..but I chose to put hee back in public school after she needed speech therapy and the school denied her due to the fact that she wasn't a student..




I will be the first to say my DD has trouble making friends. To much time at home with me has caused her to think she's much more mature..to mature for kids her own age.




















redhead-bedhead
by Bronze Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 11:35 AM

She won't do it. She makes more money on 3rd shift and the district he is in is terrible and the school he is attending is one of the better ones, but it's across the city. 

Quoting paganbaby:

Oh, that's awful :-(

Isn't there some other arrangements she can make?

Quoting redhead-bedhead:

It's not selfish at all. It's actually a good reason to homeschool. My poor nephew has to be on his bus at 7 am and he doesn't get off until 5pm. After that he has to do homework, chores, dinner, and then bed.

My sister-in-law works 3rd shift, so she only sees him for about 4 hours a day.

I couldn't do that.



paganbaby
by Silver Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 11:38 AM

Ah, I see :-/

Quoting redhead-bedhead:

She won't do it. She makes more money on 3rd shift and the district he is in is terrible and the school he is attending is one of the better ones, but it's across the city. 

Quoting paganbaby:

Oh, that's awful :-(

Isn't there some other arrangements she can make?

Quoting redhead-bedhead:

It's not selfish at all. It's actually a good reason to homeschool. My poor nephew has to be on his bus at 7 am and he doesn't get off until 5pm. After that he has to do homework, chores, dinner, and then bed.

My sister-in-law works 3rd shift, so she only sees him for about 4 hours a day.

I couldn't do that.




Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 11:40 AM
1 mom liked this
Sorry to butt in, but when I say school-at-home, I am thinking about those that sit at a desk for an extremely long, thoroughly scheduled day. The ones that are trying to recreate the B&M schools because they believe that the length of the day means more learning occurs. Those that schedule so thoroughly that they have one of those long-day schedules that put a knot in my stomach. Blah!
Quoting AutymsMommy:


What do you mean recreate a classroom? I'm genuinely curious because all of the programs I mentioned have been described by others, to me, as "too school at home" for them, lol; they are text and workbook focused, the teacher support or manuals encourage quiet study and desk space, etc.

Quoting mem82:

I don't really consider that school at home, though. I suppose I should have been more clear. 8)
If sassy was trying to completely recreate a class room in her house for a single child and it failed, that doesn't surprise me.


Quoting AutymsMommy:


I'll agree wholeheartedly that the comments about socialization are completely outdated. Most of the homeschooled children I know, socialize with age peers (and other children in general) AT LEAST once or twice a week - actively engage and socialize, I mean.

I'll disagree that "school at home" rarely works. The sheer number of happy users who are with "school at home" programs like Seton, Kolbe, Memoria Press, Abeka, etc proves that theory wrong; the sheer number of happy now-adults who graduated from programs like Kolbe and Seton proves that many children do great with school at home. Many children need that structure.


Quoting mem82:

I'm sorry but your information on homeschooling is either completely outdated by years or just wrong.

I'm sorry hsing didn't work out in your dd's case, but maybe you guys were just doing it wrong for her to be so behind and lonely.

Oh, and the therapist was really misinformed. We, home schools, are fairly used to people having the wrong impression about it because they *knew* someone who didn't like it. I know you said you did it for one child, for one year. I doubt, from your attitude, that you researched all your options or the actual theories behind hsing. I would be more than happy to explain how it works to you. 8) I have plenty of studies to back me up.

Also, homeschooling doesn't work for all kids, and school at home doesn't work well for many kids. Maybe your daughter was the exception. I imagine that if her grandmother wasn't a huge fan of homeschooling and if she was already having issues (since she had a therapist and you pulled her out of school) any schooling would have been not overly effective that year.





Quoting sassykymom4:

My sisters and brother didn't like the idea at all of HS..my sister while on leave from school and was on homebound just decided to quit and get her GED..Homeschooling takes alot of dedication. Its not as easy as most ppl think and some school districts actually require a copy if your planned coursework a semester ahead and have the right to sit in to ensure your child is being taught.


Everyone I knew that was homeschooled wished they had the school experience..


My DD was 9. We kept her home a yr. She was taught by my stepmom who has a degree in teaching primary grades and my father who was a teacher. She loved staying home but hated the loneliness..she would go to the park and watch the other kids..she would call them babies and try to Bully them when they did play with her..I talked to a tgerapist and she said it was common in children who are hs due to them spending so much time with adults and not other children. They don't see themselves as a child. When I put her back in school we had to hold her back because our homeschooling curriculum was 2 semesters behind the schools curriculum. So now she really feels like an odd child out. She's bigger and older than her classmates.


HS in our household was a horrible idea.







Quoting paganbaby:

She likes school but at this age I think she would enjoy being at home more. We talked today and she said she wanted to homeschool. She was under the impression that you only HS if you do badly in PS. I told her there are many reasons why kids HS and eplained a few.

I'm sorry you had such a hard time. That sucks. But I don't understand why were your sisters allowed to stay?

Also, how long was your dd HS and did she ever play with other kids?

Quoting sassykymom4:

I was homeschooles and I did homeschool my DD..







MY ADVICE:



Consider your DD. Does she like school? Just because you're lonely does that justify taking her away from something she loves??







I hated being homeschooled. I missed Prom and Homecomings. My father pulled me out if school because he thought public schools did more harm than good..my sisters both stayed in public school and I was jealous. To this day at 30 yrs old I wish I got to experience all the things my friends/family members did.My only friends were other homeschooled kids who were just as lonely. Or the kids in Sunday school.







My DD loved it on the other hand..but I chose to put hee back in public school after she needed speech therapy and the school denied her due to the fact that she wasn't a student..



I will be the first to say my DD has trouble making friends. To much time at home with me has caused her to think she's much more mature..to mature for kids her own age.















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