I figured something out today. Before I share my revelation, let me explain where it came from.
Some of you might be remembering some of my previous posts about my kids just not.... not doing. Not doing anything, really. I can't get them to brush their teeth, do their chore, etc.... NOTHING.
It's not the actual schooling itself, it's the independent work or anything at all they have to accomplish or get completed. Everything from showering to brushing their hair to chores to writing out their math work to practicing for their events that they WANT to be in... they just do nothing.
I'm always having to wait and wait and wait... or get behind and push and poke and prod.... Of course, we all know how that works really well, right?
Well, I've been noticing that most Mondays and Fridays when it's just the kids and I here, we manage to accomplish stuff. Yesterday, I had a migraine and the kids had to help me in the AM. However, once I got up, we managed to still log 5 hours worth of school and get to the park for 3 hours. I pushed them on the swings, played rocket with them, etc..
I DID end up buying us Taco Bell for dinner, but for a day where I had a headache so bad I actually threw up four times, I felt pretty good about myself.
I went to bed still feeling horrible. Got up a little late today because my alarm I set a few weeks ago (to repeat) on my phone suddenly stopped going off in the middle of last week... happened to be during one of DH's days off.
Anyway, DH is off Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. These days are always HORRIBLE for school. I finally realized why.
The kids are doing what kids are supposed to do. They are following their leader.
I can't fight it anymore.
Dad is lazy, lays around, putzes, doesn't get plugged in, doesn't do ANYTHING he says he wants to do... doesn't follow through on anything, etc...
My grass in my backyard is as high as almost my knee in two places. He was supposed to cut it two weeks when he was off, but put it off til the last day and then woke up with one of his migraines and went back to sleep from 9:30 until about 2:45. Then he woke up and acted groggy and sick the rest of the night. He cut three strips in the lawn and came inside and quit.
I love him. He's a kind person, and treats the kids and I with respect. I know that he cares about them and I. He also works and I don't, so obviously he's providing. We've struggled over some of the problems he's had (got himself fired, started a business and failed at it because of just not trying, etc..).. but on the whole, we are mostly provided for. I've had to help a time or two with doing childcare or holding down a job or something for a while... but he is finally matured enough and in a lasting career that I hope that is all behind us.
But, with his schedule, I just can't do it. They follow his lead. He IS the head of the household (in our belief system), and the kids are following him. How can I punnish the dogs on the sled dog team if they are doing what they are supposed to do and following the lead dog???
What can I do?