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Don't feel like Reading or Writing? You don't have too.

Posted by on Oct. 14, 2013 at 11:19 AM
  • 9 Replies

My son, HATED reading and writing. He was fine until late kinder. About that time the teacher started encouraging the kids to write and read more. Most of the kids did fine but my son would balk. He had no interest in either. This led to the teacher putting more and more pressure on him. It was hard on him, poor baby would come home so stressed and angry.

First grade wasn't any better so I brought him home. Through the rest of first and second (I used public school at home options) I pushed him to read and write also. It was hell. Both of us would end up in tears nearly everyday.

Finally I had enough. I told him, you don't want to read or write? You don't have too. And for about 6 months he didn't. Then one day I suggested he write his little sister a note. It started with me writing almost every word on a white board for him. *Gradually he began learning how to spell simple words. Just recently he's become confident enough to sound out words and attempt to spell them on his own. Now you'll find his notes all over the house. Silly, sad, angry, happy. He writes everything. He's reading everything too.  Signs, packages, posters, subtitles, labels. This kids is insatiable!

*It helped that I would pay him 2 cents each word he spelled correctly and 1 cent for each word he attempted to spell,lol.


by on Oct. 14, 2013 at 11:19 AM
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Replies (1-9):
bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Oct. 14, 2013 at 11:31 AM

 Good job!  That's such a hard road sometimes to let go and let it come naturally.  Be proud that you found a way too pull it out of him without breaking him and giving him time enough to heal!

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Oct. 14, 2013 at 11:37 AM

It was! My anxiety was through the roof. I kept second guessing myself but then I would just take a minute and think, it's this or he's going to be a drop out.

Thank you :-) I am proud. Of both of us. My mom did something similar when I was 14. She let me go. It took years to heal. I didn't want that happening to him.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 Good job!  That's such a hard road sometimes to let go and let it come naturally.  Be proud that you found a way too pull it out of him without breaking him and giving him time enough to heal!


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

Leissaintexas
by Bronze Member on Oct. 14, 2013 at 11:43 AM
One of mine was the same way. I completely backed off and by third grade she realized that her friends were writing notes to each other during church and she didn't want to be left out! She was reading and writing at or above grade level in just under 6 months. I learned my lesson about pushing and trying to "keep up with the Jones's" so to speak.
paganbaby
by Silver Member on Oct. 14, 2013 at 11:46 AM

Now that's good incentive right there!

Nice to know I'm not the only mom. So many people thought I was insane for doing it,lol.

Quoting Leissaintexas:

One of mine was the same way. I completely backed off and by third grade she realized that her friends were writing notes to each other during church and she didn't want to be left out! She was reading and writing at or above grade level in just under 6 months. I learned my lesson about pushing and trying to "keep up with the Jones's" so to speak.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Oct. 14, 2013 at 11:59 AM

 The more years of hurt that occurs, the more years it takes to heal.  Glad you caught it early!  :-)

Quoting paganbaby:

It was! My anxiety was through the roof. I kept second guessing myself but then I would just take a minute and think, it's this or he's going to be a drop out.

Thank you :-) I am proud. Of both of us. My mom did something similar when I was 14. She let me go. It took years to heal. I didn't want that happening to him.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 Good job!  That's such a hard road sometimes to let go and let it come naturally.  Be proud that you found a way too pull it out of him without breaking him and giving him time enough to heal!


 

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Oct. 14, 2013 at 12:01 PM
1 mom liked this

This is so true.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 The more years of hurt that occurs, the more years it takes to heal.  Glad you caught it early!  :-)

Quoting paganbaby:

It was! My anxiety was through the roof. I kept second guessing myself but then I would just take a minute and think, it's this or he's going to be a drop out.

Thank you :-) I am proud. Of both of us. My mom did something similar when I was 14. She let me go. It took years to heal. I didn't want that happening to him.

Quoting bluerooffarm:

 Good job!  That's such a hard road sometimes to let go and let it come naturally.  Be proud that you found a way too pull it out of him without breaking him and giving him time enough to heal!


 


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

hwblyf
by Silver Member on Oct. 14, 2013 at 12:15 PM
1 mom liked this

Congrats on letting go!  I try to push the writing here, but if I just let them go, they write better stuff than when I'm asking them to write.  So they're writing, just not because I asked them to.  I don't like the paying method, though.  My mom would bribe my brother to read, but as a natural reader, I got no kudos, no rewards, no incentives.  :(  It didn't stop me being a reader, didn't turn him into a reader, and 30 years later I haven't gotten over it.  :)  He's got his PhD, by the way, so no harm no foul, and eventually he did find his way to the written word.  :)

jen2150
by Silver Member on Oct. 14, 2013 at 12:51 PM

Awesome.  My son is in 4th grade now and just started reading chapter books.  He struggled with reading.  He wanted to learn so badly but it went very slowly for him.  I just kept encouraging him, reading and working with him.  He is so proud of himself now.  reading has such a huge age gap.  some kids don't grasp it till 10 or 11.  Remember also reading comes before writing.  It is important to study how others have mastered the skill.  Most great readers become excellent writers.  My sons are now really getting into writing.  It was all on their own.  They loved reading so writing wasn't far behind.  My son just last decided to write a 60 page book all out of the blue.  My younger son wants to write his own picture book.  

usmom3
by BJ on Oct. 14, 2013 at 2:33 PM

 That is great!

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