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Any moms here familiar with this?

Drake is now 5.  At home and with family (and at walmart, ect) he's outgoing, chatty, bright.  One on one with strangers, it takes him a few moments to warm up, then he's fine. But in groups on his own (Sunday School, Children's Church, Awana) he clams up. 

He will talk with his SS teacher a bit, and will mind directions they give, and sometimes will join in with activities, but he doesn't speak much.  Often, he'll go and stand or sit (or lay on the mat) in the corner quietly after a bit of play/class time.

He will talk to his daddy and I in church when we're together, and he did play and interact with the other 4 kids at his birthday party. At the park if one child wants to play with him, he'll do so and talk a bit. But he won't join a group. he just goes about doing and playing what he wants in the midst of them.

So, if you know about SM, are these red flags?  Ideas? Suggestions?  Stories to share?  We're considering having him evaluated soon regardless.

Thanks so much for your time!

Psalms 19:14  May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.



http://www.untanglingtheskein.blogspot.com/

by on Oct. 16, 2013 at 11:22 PM
Replies (11-16):
kmath
by Silver Member on Oct. 17, 2013 at 7:12 PM
2 moms liked this

My best friend's son has SM and no one heard him talk outside mom/dad, siblings until this past year.  (He has known me all his life and still has a hard time speaking when I am around)  So no, it doesn't sound like SM to me, unless it is a very mild version of it.  Sounds more like he just doesn't like big groups.  I know a lot of kids like that and they tend to grow out of it as they get older and more confident in themselves.

KrissyKC
by Silver Member on Oct. 17, 2013 at 9:22 PM
1 mom liked this

Then get out some lego minifigures (or other little "people" or animals or something)... have him set up his classroom with the figures and talk about it that way.



Quoting TheLadyCash:

Thanks, Ladies.

I'd try the art, but he isn't a 'drawing/arsty' kid.  He doesn't color inside the lines, but still scribbles all over the page. Handwriting is coming along very slowly. He'll happily trace letters all day, but he won't try to write them on his own, and when he does it's like he can't remember how to form the letter.  So art is out, at least right now, but we're working on it all.




SalemWitchChild
by on Oct. 17, 2013 at 9:25 PM
1 mom liked this

Your son does sound like he has SM. My daughter has it, though she is 12 and for the most part has overcome it. She'll never be a social butterfly, but she doesn't let the anxiety stop her anymore.

When she was younger we just gave her encouragement and plenty of opportunities to socialize without being pushy. Is Drake enrolled in any after school activities? My daughter did dance and soccer, which really got her to open up over time. Just be patient, don't be pushy or harsh with him when he refuses to talk. Don't let others badger or get in his space making him uncomfortable. A lot of times people don't realize its an actual anxiety, and when they are pushy and try to get them to talk it can make matters worse.

I just realized the others are telling you it sounds like shyness. But haven raised a Sm child, I can tell you that SM can be different for each kid. My daughter was very outgoing around people she knew and saw every day. Kids she would socialize with if they were younger than her. Older kids intimidated her so she avoided them.

Sierra spent 3 years in pre-school to overcome her social anxiety. The first year she did not talk to any teacher at all. She did however play with some of the kids. She avoided boys and older kids, little girls were okay to her.

Over time she began speaking to her teachers. It took even longer to get her to talk to everyday people we met such as cashiers in the supermarket, or waiters,ect... Each child has their own needs. If you suspect SM definitely get him checked out.

Quoting TheLadyCash:

Any moms here familiar with this?

Drake is now 5.  At home and with family (and at walmart, ect) he's outgoing, chatty, bright.  One on one with strangers, it takes him a few moments to warm up, then he's fine. But in groups on his own (Sunday School, Children's Church, Awana) he clams up. 

He will talk with his SS teacher a bit, and will mind directions they give, and sometimes will join in with activities, but he doesn't speak much.  Often, he'll go and stand or sit (or lay on the mat) in the corner quietly after a bit of play/class time.

He will talk to his daddy and I in church when we're together, and he did play and interact with the other 4 kids at his birthday party. At the park if one child wants to play with him, he'll do so and talk a bit. But he won't join a group. he just goes about doing and playing what he wants in the midst of them.

So, if you know about SM, are these red flags?  Ideas? Suggestions?  Stories to share?  We're considering having him evaluated soon regardless.

Thanks so much for your time!


maggiemom2000
by Member on Oct. 17, 2013 at 10:53 PM

Sounds just like me as a kid :-)

When I was that age people would often say, "does she know how to talk?" My first grade teacher suggested I get tested because I never talked in class, never answered questions.  I think she was surprised the hear I qualified for the gifted program.

My niece is exactly the same way (she's almost 5).

I have a son with Aspergers who has selective mutism. It is VERY different from this.  He is not quiet, or shy (like I was). He can't talk when he is anxious or upset. He's 11 now and it is not getting any better. 

The way you describe your son I think he is just quiet and on the shy side. He will come out of his shell and talk more as he gets older, but will probably always be on the quiet side.

I remember when I was in about 8th grade, with a group of friend's. Someone said, "I always listen when Teglene talks. She doesn't talk very often, so I know it is going to be something good, or important. Other people just babble on and on about just anything." I took it as a compliment!

TheLadyCash
by New Member on Oct. 18, 2013 at 2:02 AM

Again, thanks so much for the support and ideas, ladies.  It means a lot to me.

Salem Witch, we may have him checked out soon, just to be sure.  I appreciate your

advice and viewpoint.  Never hurts to be sure. :)

mem82
by Platinum Member on Oct. 18, 2013 at 8:17 AM
I would get a few books about shyness and how to deal with it. Does he seem anxious?
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