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How would you handle this? I feel so discouraged!

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Oh gosh, I'm really unsure of where to even start this post, but here goes:

We live in Indiana - 180 days of instruction, attendance records are the only requirement (as far as I know - I'm new!)

DH and I have full custody of DS - his bio dad gets visitation every Wednesday night (overnight), and every other weekend. We (DH and I) make all decisions as far as education goes, and we decided before DS was old enough to start school that our children (DD is 3 years) will be homeschooled. Bio dad wants weekly progress reports, and expects me to school 5 days a week, for at least 5 hours per day and is constantly comparing DS to other children in the area that are in public school. He also wants to approve any lesson plans I have, curriculum choices and field trips. Sports and activities with other children can't be on Wednesday nights, or on the weekends because he refuses to take him to these, even though he wants him to have some interaction with others his age. It wouldn't be a big deal, but why put my kid in an activity/sport if he can't participate 100%? 

On top of this, my Mom works in the public school that DS would be attending if he were enrolled. Any time I mention that I am working on my plans for the next few weeks, or anything homeschool-related, she responds with, "What's going to happen when you have to enroll him in school and you can't because he'll be so behind?" He's a little behind on reading/writing, but I know we can catch him up now that I know where his strenghts and weaknesses are. =) How would you handle this?

Also, DH's Mom has worked in education for years and I can't have a conversation at all with her without her saying, "You are following the common core, aren't you?" or "You have a print out of the Common Core Standards, right?", or "When do you take him in for testing? You need to make sure he's at the appropriate grade level."

I'm so annoyed. DH and I wanted to homeschool because of the freedom it brings, but so far, I'm feeling that I'm never going to feel that freedom. I feel like I have so many people to answer to. What would you do?



by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 2:35 PM
Replies (11-18):
PurpleCupcake
by Cynthia on Oct. 23, 2013 at 6:45 AM
3 moms liked this

All great advice above...but at some point...even though you love these people...I would tell them to shut up...and stay out my business. 

I would explain explain things a couple of times and tell them to step off. 

Weekly progress reports? Is he joking? Tell him you want a summary of activities, including food choices, for the Times he has the child. 






ablackdolphin
by Bronze Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 7:59 AM
This I would be Very direct it will only get worse as time goes on!!!!

Quoting usmom3:

 I would tell Hubby to deal with MIL because she is his Mom& he should handle her! He should tell her that your sons education is your business & not hers & that the subject is off limits!


 I would tell your Ex that you have full control over your sons education & that it says no where in the custody papers that he has any say in any of it. And if he wants your son to join sports or other things that will land on his time with him he will ether be willing to take him or he will forfeit his visitation so that your son can attend his activities!

ablackdolphin
by Bronze Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 8:01 AM
1 mom liked this
Totally agree if he keeps a good bath sleep and activity schedule foe every 15 min you will be glad to let him see what you have done

Quoting PurpleCupcake:

All great advice above...but at some point...even though you love these people...I would tell them to shut up...and stay out my business. 

I would explain explain things a couple of times and tell them to step off. 

Weekly progress reports? Is he joking? Tell him you want a summary of activities, including food choices, for the Times he has the child. 

mem82
by Platinum Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 10:21 AM
1 mom liked this

I suggest getting some very strong blinders and putting them on. LOL The proof will be in the pudding after a few years and your son is just fine.

mem82
by Platinum Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 10:25 AM
1 mom liked this

I would give the Bio dad a weekly paper like a teacher would send home. Nothing more, nothing less. Don't put time or anything like that down. Simply write a few highlights from the week, and be done. Heck, print the same forms the teachers use off of a website. LOL For your protection, in case BD wants to be a douche keep documentation and photo evidence of things you do, and see. If he's on a playdate, note it. Having the upper hand usually requires him having no leg to stand on.

Tiffanydshives
by Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 10:27 AM
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paganbaby
by Silver Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 4:26 PM

This.

Quoting usmom3:

 I would tell Hubby to deal with MIL because she is his Mom& he should handle her! He should tell her that your sons education is your business & not hers & that the subject is off limits!

 I would tell your Ex that you have full control over your sons education & that it says no where in the custody papers that he has any say in any of it. And if he wants your son to join sports or other things that will land on his time with him he will ether be willing to take him or he will forfeit his visitation so that your son can attend his activities!


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No_Difference
by Silver Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 6:19 PM
As far as the parents are concerned, tell them to butt out. I had a really really hard time doing this with my parents and inlaws, but since it has been done, it has gone significantly better. (I couldn't have MIL butt out too much though since she does our portfolio evals at the end of the year). As for the ex, he's going to have to give somewhere. Maybe make him pay for the extras if he doesn't want him to do it on Wed and weekends so he can maybe see what a potential waste it would be? I don't know what to do on the otherside of it though... If he legally doesn't have a say, then I don't think he can be so demanding, but I would maybe check??
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