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Do Your Kids Do Chores?! Kind of a vent...

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Sooo...I left the kids with MIL today for 4 hours.  There is a whole back story to this, but I am going to just get to the point and I can give more details as to why this seems offensive to me if anyone wants them.  Biggest point-we live with MIL, it is her home, the home DH grew up in.  We pay nearly half the mortgage and we cover some other bills-so we pay almost half of everything when it comes down to we pay all our own bills, buy our own food, and do our own cooking and cleaning, etc.  We ask her to babysit once in a while, but only if both of us are working, and we never just expect it.

MIL told the kids that the living room needs to be vaccuumed 3x a week (I have seen her pick up a vaccuum like 5 times in the 7 years we've lived with her...but we do have a dog and I should vaccuum more than I do) so when the kids said they like to vaccuum, she said they aren't allowed to and that DH and I *need* more chores to do.

Here is the break down of what my kids do: DD10.5 dishes every day, usually 3x a day to keep the sink empty.  She also folds and puts away her own laundry, and picks up after herself, and keeps her room clean.  DS11.5 does the same as that last sentence, and he is responsible for all trash-taking it out of the house and bringing the bins down and back on trash day. He is also working on being more responsible for laundry (washing and drying) but I am doing it with him still while he learns, and to make sure the washer isn't getting broken, lol.  They also take turns sweeping 3 rooms and a staircase.  They are expected to do chores as they need to be done, most of them daily, sweeping I expect to be done twice a week.  They each earn $5/week if they do the majority of the chores without complaint.  I also sometimes request additional things if something extra needs to be done.

DH does ALL outside work.  I clean the kitchen probably 40 times a day.  I clean the bathroom weekly (or close to weekly) and do whatever else needs to be done.  I also work outside the home about 20 hrs a week, DH works full time and different shifts so his sleeping schedule is awful.

When DD told MIL "mom and dad have enough chores to do" MIL wanted examples.  DD gave her cleaning the bathroom (this is always my example to them, lol..."would you rather clean the bathroom?!") and MIL told her that she actually cleans the bathroom, I don't.  I'm sure she ALSO cleans the bathroom sometimes, but I know for a fact I do it regularly.  I don't care that she wants to say she cleans the bathroom, but don't tell the kid I don't!  Lol.  So I am annoyed.

Do you think we expect too much of our kids in the way of chores?  Should DH and I do *more* chores than the kids?  MIL works full time, she is not even 50, and she spends a good 5-6 hours a day sitting on the couch watching TV.  She does clean up after herself for the most part, but she doesn't really "clean."  I am just kind of offended that she says I don't clean and that we need more chores, I feel like she thinks we just force the kids to do everything while we sit around doing nothing!

by on Oct. 29, 2013 at 8:56 PM
Replies (41-42):
by on Nov. 3, 2013 at 12:29 PM
When we lived with my mom it was athe opposite. She is a hoarder. We happily pay for peace of mind and our own space!
by on Nov. 3, 2013 at 2:41 PM
My mil likes to buy "junk" as we see it. She shops at the goodwill and other thrift stores and always comes home with a "great find" which is just some knick knack that no one likes that gets dusty and/or broken...then sits there until dh or I finally get sick of walking by it and throw it out when she's not home.

She's definitely not a hoarder, but she isn't quick to throw stuff out either. We leave her mail on the kitchen counter, I take ours out and immediately throw out junk mail, but if it says her name or resident on it, I leave it for her, then it sits on the counter until, again, I throw it out. I think I'm going to just start tossing the resident stuff and stuff that is obviously junk, and just leave her few actual pieces of mail on the counter. I also clean out the fridge....she is known for stuffing things in tinfoil and in the fridge, then weeks go by until I smell something nasty and clean out the entire fridge..I get so sick of it I just toss everything if I don't know what it is or it doesn't have a date on it. It has only happened once that she asked if I threw something out.

I'm almost at the point where I will give up being a homeowner completely just to have my own space right now!

Quoting mrs.hartman12:

When we lived with my mom it was athe opposite. She is a hoarder. We happily pay for peace of mind and our own space!

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