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wth were they thinking? UPDATE

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I went to drop my boys at their school this morning. And apparently that's when stupid ideas come to mind!

My aunt brought over my little cousin (who I homeschool with my daughter, dd is 9yo and cousin is 11yo). Well I was gone doing my morning thing and my aunt had to leave before I got back to do her food handlers class so the girls were alone for maybe 5 to 7 min. I never thought anything of it even tho I have my 1 and 2 yo dds sleeping in my bed. It's just a few min and my gma lives next door.

Well I walk inside and I'm like crap! Wtf is that burning smell? So I'm running around, I go to the kitchen and I don't smell it. I'm frantic asking the girls when the smell start? They say "I don't smell anything"(first red flag) so I'm like ok its over here towards the kids rooms. I go to the laundry room cuz we've been having issues with a old leak somewhere in there and thought maybe it was electrical even though it didn't smell like that. But I go in there and the smell disappears. I go into the bathroom cuz the smell is getting stronger and it disappears again. I'm running into all 3 kids rooms. Nothing in my oldest sons room and I cam smell it in my youngest sons room but I can tell its not coming from his room either. Finally, my daughter's room is last and the smell is so strong I said oh, sh*t its in here! I tell dd to unplug everything. And I'm looking at all the plugs-nothing. I finally open the closet door just to be sure and the smell is coming from there!

I look down and what do I see a box of matches and burned sheet of paper. I was automatically pissed! I asked my daughter what was going on (btw my dd is following me around helping out and oh so sweet cousin is just sitting her a$$ on my couch not concerned) my daughter looked sooo guilty and just tells me that they were burning paper cuz cousin said so. I asked cousin and she's like Idk, it wasn't me.

I know for a fact that cousin is lying cuz my kids all know where the matches are joy (we only have then cuz we have a gas stove) and we have never had this problem. I told both the girls I was very upset and irritated that lied to me and just straight up livid cuz my babies are in the house!

Even now cousin is lying. These matches are joy out of reach of the smaller kids and my dd isnt tall enough to reach them with using a stool or chair. And guess who is tall enough.....cousin!

When my aunt gets back from class I'm going to talk to her and let both of them know (cousin and aunt) that fires IN MY HOUSE are unacceptable and I don't appreciate lying!

I will never again underestimate these girls and will never allow them to be alone...for as far as I can help it.


Update:
We talked to the girls later that day. While my daughter was upset and crying and listened to what we had to say cousin was staring off into space and had this look of "why do I care what you have to say". She apologized because my aunt made her but she didn't mean it. And even tho my daughter is being punished for going along with the idea cousin is going on WITHOUT punishment. Ir-i-tating.

Since this has happened I have done nothing but think about this and talked with my 3 older childeren. They say she bullies them and scares them and I'm afraid of what other plans she has cooking that my kids may feel like they have to participate in so I have decided to talk to my aunt this afternoon (I'm unwillingly at work) and tell her I can no longer homeschool cousin. (On top of this incident cousin shows no interest in learning and waits for my daughter to answer questions before answering herself or just says Idk without trying).
by on Oct. 30, 2013 at 10:25 AM
Replies (21-30):
usmom3
by BJ on Nov. 1, 2013 at 1:29 PM

 I think this is a great idea! Use it as a learning opportunity instead of just a punishment one!

Quoting snowangel1979:

How scary.

Honestly since they are so curious about fire, I would spend some time learning about fire.
How fire starts, how much damage it does, how people die, how pets die, ect,ect,ect. I also wouldn't exactly keep it PG, let them see what happens and what someone goes threw when a home catches on fire. Take a feild trip to the fire department and have them talk to them.

 

abuckalew
by Member on Nov. 1, 2013 at 3:43 PM
I thought about that. I had already picked out the ugliest thing in you tube but the "I don't give a f" look bothers me. She didn't listen to anything we had to say about it. She apologized but it was because she had to and she doesn't feel sorry for her actions. I've been thinking about this non stop and I've decided to no longer homeschool her. This was the icing on the cake.


Quoting snowangel1979:

How scary.



Honestly since they are so curious about fire, I would spend some time learning about fire.

How fire starts, how much damage it does, how people die, how pets die, ect,ect,ect. I also wouldn't exactly keep it PG, let them see what happens and what someone goes threw when a home catches on fire. Take a feild trip to the fire department and have them talk to them.

kirbymom
by Sonja on Nov. 2, 2013 at 9:29 AM
No. Not at all. Quite the opposite in fact. Its just that no matter which direction we chose to go with, it seems someone takes exception with it and tries to "show/tell" us better. Even if it would cause me and my family a bunch of trouble. So, I am cautious with our decisions.


Quoting paganbaby:

Really? Are they very immature?

Quoting kirbymom:Yikes! That would be extremely scary.
I have issues leaving my 16 and 17 year olds in charge, if I feel like I have to go somewhere. So glad that something worse didn't happen.


AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Nov. 2, 2013 at 11:41 AM


I disagree. Completely. I have never known a 9 year old to be old enough, or mature enough, to babysit.

The OP has consistently painted the 11 year old as immature.

Quoting paganbaby:

I disagree. Most 9 year olds are more than capable of staying in a house for 15 mins with a couple sleeping toddlers. It's no different than running to the laundry room or checking the mail. And why would you assume that about an 11yo? Seems like a rather odd thing to say.

Grandma next door is not alone. No more than grandma in the shower means the kids are alone.

Quoting AutymsMommy:

I'm sorry, I do not think a 9 year old is a capable baby sitter, and the 11 year old isn't, imo, capable of watching children who aren't directly her siblings. Yes, I consider them "alone" - that someone was home next door doesn't really matter.


Quoting paganbaby:

But they weren't alone. The 9yo and 11yo were there. The OP would have no way of knowing the girls would lose their minds and set the house on fire.

Quoting AutymsMommy:

I can't get past that you left your 1 and 2 year old alone, for however short amount of time, while you were off the property. Sorry. If they had set the house on fire... yeah.







I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff:  we're Catholic, we're conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee















TJandKarasMom
by Debbie on Nov. 2, 2013 at 3:08 PM
A agree with AutymnsMommy. I have a "mature" 11yo, a boy and no baby to consider leaving him alone with, but we just last week left our 10 and 11 yos alone for 15 minutes for the first time ever. Next week, we are attempting one hour. But it wouldn't even be a consideration with younger children in the house, and certainly not with someone I *know* to be immature and irresponsible.

I may be wrong, but didn't the original post say aunt dropped the girls off? Which means the babies were completely alone before that? What if mom (God forbid) got in an accident while out? A 5-7 minute ride could quickly turn into a longer ride with any traffic, mom in an accident, an accident ahead of mom. Too many variables, IMO. What if mom got pulled over, you say to the police officer "I really need to go, I left my toddlers home alone.."?! You think he would just let that slide? I think that's grounds for CPS involvement...not something I am EVER willing to risk.


OP, I am glad you've decided not to school her anymore, it seems like it was much more hassle than it was worth. If she had shown an interest, this would be sad, but since she doesn't have any desire to learn or be part of the family it seems, then grandma needs to do something different with her.


Quoting AutymsMommy:


I disagree. Completely. I have never known a 9 year old to be old enough, or mature enough, to babysit.

The OP has consistently painted the 11 year old as immature.


Quoting paganbaby:

I disagree. Most 9 year olds are more than capable of staying in a house for 15 mins with a couple sleeping toddlers. It's no different than running to the laundry room or checking the mail. And why would you assume that about an 11yo? Seems like a rather odd thing to say.

Grandma next door is not alone. No more than grandma in the shower means the kids are alone.

Quoting AutymsMommy:

I'm sorry, I do not think a 9 year old is a capable baby sitter, and the 11 year old isn't, imo, capable of watching children who aren't directly her siblings. Yes, I consider them "alone" - that someone was home next door doesn't really matter.



Quoting paganbaby:

But they weren't alone. The 9yo and 11yo were there. The OP would have no way of knowing the girls would lose their minds and set the house on fire.

Quoting AutymsMommy:

I can't get past that you left your 1 and 2 year old alone, for however short amount of time, while you were off the property. Sorry. If they had set the house on fire... yeah.










AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Nov. 2, 2013 at 3:39 PM


Exactly. The variables are my issue. The "what if's". I've left my very responsible 12 year old with my 4 year old for small amounts of time. I will not, will not, will not, risk leaving her with my 1 year old. Babies are too into everything. One minute they're sleeping, the next they are into everything, climbing something, or sticking something in their mouth. What's more, if something were to happen (a fire, what have you), my 12 year old could not get both a 4 year old and an oblivious 1 year old out of the house safely.

Quoting TJandKarasMom:

A agree with AutymnsMommy. I have a "mature" 11yo, a boy and no baby to consider leaving him alone with, but we just last week left our 10 and 11 yos alone for 15 minutes for the first time ever. Next week, we are attempting one hour. But it wouldn't even be a consideration with younger children in the house, and certainly not with someone I *know* to be immature and irresponsible.

I may be wrong, but didn't the original post say aunt dropped the girls off? Which means the babies were completely alone before that? What if mom (God forbid) got in an accident while out? A 5-7 minute ride could quickly turn into a longer ride with any traffic, mom in an accident, an accident ahead of mom. Too many variables, IMO. What if mom got pulled over, you say to the police officer "I really need to go, I left my toddlers home alone.."?! You think he would just let that slide? I think that's grounds for CPS involvement...not something I am EVER willing to risk.


OP, I am glad you've decided not to school her anymore, it seems like it was much more hassle than it was worth. If she had shown an interest, this would be sad, but since she doesn't have any desire to learn or be part of the family it seems, then grandma needs to do something different with her.


Quoting AutymsMommy:


I disagree. Completely. I have never known a 9 year old to be old enough, or mature enough, to babysit.

The OP has consistently painted the 11 year old as immature.


Quoting paganbaby:

I disagree. Most 9 year olds are more than capable of staying in a house for 15 mins with a couple sleeping toddlers. It's no different than running to the laundry room or checking the mail. And why would you assume that about an 11yo? Seems like a rather odd thing to say.

Grandma next door is not alone. No more than grandma in the shower means the kids are alone.

Quoting AutymsMommy:

I'm sorry, I do not think a 9 year old is a capable baby sitter, and the 11 year old isn't, imo, capable of watching children who aren't directly her siblings. Yes, I consider them "alone" - that someone was home next door doesn't really matter.



Quoting paganbaby:

But they weren't alone. The 9yo and 11yo were there. The OP would have no way of knowing the girls would lose their minds and set the house on fire.

Quoting AutymsMommy:

I can't get past that you left your 1 and 2 year old alone, for however short amount of time, while you were off the property. Sorry. If they had set the house on fire... yeah.












I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff:  we're Catholic, we're conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee















paganbaby
by Silver Member on Nov. 2, 2013 at 5:13 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh well, in that case forget everyone else. I wouldn't let other people's opinions dictate how I live my life.

Quoting kirbymom:

No. Not at all. Quite the opposite in fact. Its just that no matter which direction we chose to go with, it seems someone takes exception with it and tries to "show/tell" us better. Even if it would cause me and my family a bunch of trouble. So, I am cautious with our decisions.


Quoting paganbaby:

Really? Are they very immature?

Quoting kirbymom:Yikes! That would be extremely scary.
I have issues leaving my 16 and 17 year olds in charge, if I feel like I have to go somewhere. So glad that something worse didn't happen.



Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

abuckalew
by Member on Nov. 2, 2013 at 5:26 PM
I know. Too bad in not this bad ass mom that can see everything can go wrong instead of believing everything will be ok, esp when its the only time I had to do it.


Quoting paganbaby:

Oh well, in that case forget everyone else. I wouldn't let other people's opinions dictate how I live my life.

Quoting kirbymom:

No. Not at all. Quite the opposite in fact. Its just that no matter which direction we chose to go with, it seems someone takes exception with it and tries to "show/tell" us better. Even if it would cause me and my family a bunch of trouble. So, I am cautious with our decisions.





Quoting paganbaby:

Really? Are they very immature?

Quoting kirbymom:Yikes! That would be extremely scary.

I have issues leaving my 16 and 17 year olds in charge, if I feel like I have to go somewhere. So glad that something worse didn't happen.




paganbaby
by Silver Member on Nov. 2, 2013 at 5:30 PM

Oh whatever! Hon, you did nothing wrong. If you had left the babies alone, that would have been a different story. But the girls are old enough and grandma was next store. That's good enough for me. Forget everyone else.

Quoting abuckalew:

I know. Too bad in not this bad ass mom that can see everything can go wrong instead of believing everything will be ok, esp when its the only time I had to do it.


Quoting paganbaby:

Oh well, in that case forget everyone else. I wouldn't let other people's opinions dictate how I live my life.

Quoting kirbymom:

No. Not at all. Quite the opposite in fact. Its just that no matter which direction we chose to go with, it seems someone takes exception with it and tries to "show/tell" us better. Even if it would cause me and my family a bunch of trouble. So, I am cautious with our decisions.





Quoting paganbaby:

Really? Are they very immature?

Quoting kirbymom:Yikes! That would be extremely scary.

I have issues leaving my 16 and 17 year olds in charge, if I feel like I have to go somewhere. So glad that something worse didn't happen.





Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

TJandKarasMom
by Debbie on Nov. 3, 2013 at 6:52 AM
When I read this:

"I went to drop my boys at their school this morning. And apparently that's when stupid ideas come to mind!
My aunt brought over my little cousin..."

I took it as she was gone to drop boys off, then aunt brought cousin over....which means that the babies were alone with a 9yo.

Is this wrong, OP? Was aunt there before you left?

I would be sure to drop boys before aunt has to leave, or call grandma over from next door. I wouldn't leave my babies home alone with a 9yo...or with an immature and irresponsible 11yo. Now you know what could happen. I think it's good to be optimistic, but when you have little ones, you also have to consider the possibility that something could go wrong.



Quoting paganbaby:

Oh whatever! Hon, you did nothing wrong. If you had left the babies alone, that would have been a different story. But the girls are old enough and grandma was next store. That's good enough for me. Forget everyone else.

Quoting abuckalew:

I know. Too bad in not this bad ass mom that can see everything can go wrong instead of believing everything will be ok, esp when its the only time I had to do it.





Quoting paganbaby:

Oh well, in that case forget everyone else. I wouldn't let other people's opinions dictate how I live my life.

Quoting kirbymom:

No. Not at all. Quite the opposite in fact. Its just that no matter which direction we chose to go with, it seems someone takes exception with it and tries to "show/tell" us better. Even if it would cause me and my family a bunch of trouble. So, I am cautious with our decisions.








Quoting paganbaby:

Really? Are they very immature?

Quoting kirbymom:Yikes! That would be extremely scary.


I have issues leaving my 16 and 17 year olds in charge, if I feel like I have to go somewhere. So glad that something worse didn't happen.







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