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New here... and need some advice

Posted by on Nov. 5, 2013 at 11:06 AM
  • 8 Replies
1 mom liked this

Okay I'm a SAHM that babysits a 4yr old and 2 1/2 yr old while my own boys are in school. I don't know if this is the right place (so please excuse me if it isn't) but I need help on getting the 4yr old ready for school next year. He's not yet diagnosed with ADHD... (I don't believe he is... he needs a lot of discipline though)...

I sit down with him in 10-15 min increments working on letters, numbers, shapes, colors, etc. but he doesn't remember them the next day, or he's too lazy to tell me. His mom gives him candy if he does well every day and it frustrates me. He has those days where he refuses to do anything and she'll ask me "Well, did he throw fits, cry, or whine?" when I say no, she'll say "Well he had a good day!" and she'll give him a whole candy bar, bag of chips, etc. This kid is probably double the weight he should be at 4 and she doesn't care. 

I've sent papers, flash cards, etc home for him to do at home but she just says "Oh we didn't have time last night" or whatever. 

How can I get him to sit, listen, retain, etc? I didn't have this issue with my boys. They are A students at school. They love school and actually ask their teachers for more work. 

Follow my weight loss Journey.... I have a weightloss goal to hit 135-140lbs by May 2014....Can I do it by changing the weigh I eat, using Body By Vi, and exercising more? We shall see!!!! Follow me at MyFitnessPal

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by on Nov. 5, 2013 at 11:06 AM
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Replies (1-8):
paganbaby
by Silver Member on Nov. 5, 2013 at 11:16 AM

You're doing a great job but honestly if mom isn't on board, I'm afraid it's going to be an uphill battle :-/

Luv.My.Kidz
by on Nov. 5, 2013 at 11:21 AM

There is no talking to her... the kid can't even count past 1... I can't get him to start without starting with 1... then it's 1-6-13-2-..... It's so sad. Same with the Alphabet... it's T-J-W-A-M.... :( the 2 yr old I watch knows how to coung to 5, ABC's (just singing the song), etc. Yes they're two different kids and have two different mom's but damn really?

Quoting paganbaby:

You're doing a great job but honestly if mom isn't on board, I'm afraid it's going to be an uphill battle :-/


Follow my weight loss Journey.... I have a weightloss goal to hit 135-140lbs by May 2014....Can I do it by changing the weigh I eat, using Body By Vi, and exercising more? We shall see!!!! Follow me at MyFitnessPal

Wedding Countdown Ticker

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Nov. 5, 2013 at 11:44 AM

Damn...that is terrible! That little boy is going to have such a hard time. Doesn't his mom see that?

Quoting Luv.My.Kidz:

There is no talking to her... the kid can't even count past 1... I can't get him to start without starting with 1... then it's 1-6-13-2-..... It's so sad. Same with the Alphabet... it's T-J-W-A-M.... :( the 2 yr old I watch knows how to coung to 5, ABC's (just singing the song), etc. Yes they're two different kids and have two different mom's but damn really?

Quoting paganbaby:

You're doing a great job but honestly if mom isn't on board, I'm afraid it's going to be an uphill battle :-/



Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

Luv.My.Kidz
by on Nov. 5, 2013 at 11:48 AM

Oh I told her... but she's like "I can't force him to learn if he doesn't want to!" I told her "Uh, yes you can and you need to!" 

Quoting paganbaby:

Damn...that is terrible! That little boy is going to have such a hard time. Doesn't his mom see that?

Quoting Luv.My.Kidz:

There is no talking to her... the kid can't even count past 1... I can't get him to start without starting with 1... then it's 1-6-13-2-..... It's so sad. Same with the Alphabet... it's T-J-W-A-M.... :( the 2 yr old I watch knows how to coung to 5, ABC's (just singing the song), etc. Yes they're two different kids and have two different mom's but damn really?

Quoting paganbaby:

You're doing a great job but honestly if mom isn't on board, I'm afraid it's going to be an uphill battle :-/




Follow my weight loss Journey.... I have a weightloss goal to hit 135-140lbs by May 2014....Can I do it by changing the weigh I eat, using Body By Vi, and exercising more? We shall see!!!! Follow me at MyFitnessPal

Wedding Countdown Ticker

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Nov. 5, 2013 at 12:00 PM

Or at least make it fun. If she gets excited about it and reinforces it at home, you'll see a huge improvment. Mark my words. But only if she tries too.

Quoting Luv.My.Kidz:

Oh I told her... but she's like "I can't force him to learn if he doesn't want to!" I told her "Uh, yes you can and you need to!" 

Quoting paganbaby:

Damn...that is terrible! That little boy is going to have such a hard time. Doesn't his mom see that?

Quoting Luv.My.Kidz:

There is no talking to her... the kid can't even count past 1... I can't get him to start without starting with 1... then it's 1-6-13-2-..... It's so sad. Same with the Alphabet... it's T-J-W-A-M.... :( the 2 yr old I watch knows how to coung to 5, ABC's (just singing the song), etc. Yes they're two different kids and have two different mom's but damn really?

Quoting paganbaby:

You're doing a great job but honestly if mom isn't on board, I'm afraid it's going to be an uphill battle :-/





Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

PurpleCupcake
by Cynthia on Nov. 5, 2013 at 12:03 PM

Any chance he is learning delayed? He sounds a touch behind. 

What happens when you go really slow?

Have you tried just moving on to something he likes?


I would say that if he is actively participating in what you are trying to do, That's great. Even if he's not getting it. He's 4, some 4 year olds are different than others.

ablackdolphin
by Bronze Member on Nov. 5, 2013 at 2:04 PM

What about DVDs? Preschool prep dvds from the library? Baby Einstein? Or online stuff like Reading Eggs (there is a free 4 week trial) or Ooka Island (again, a free 2 week trial).

bluerooffarm
by Gold Member on Nov. 5, 2013 at 2:34 PM

 I would say as long as you are making it fun, then he gets what he gets.  Most schools want a lot more from their kindergarteners than he seems to be doing, but they also realize that some kids will need more work.  If his mom isn't on board, then you will not make the progress you hope for.  But at least he will get the stuff presented to him a bit.

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