Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Homeschooling Moms Homeschooling Moms

Does a 3 year old need "socialization"?

Posted by   + Show Post
I have a 3 year who has never been to day care or a preschool. I take him lots of places and he goes to homeschool meetups . I am noticing a big push from the outside world saying at 3 he needs to be away from home in a preschool to be socialized.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 9:49 AM
Replies (21-28):
Bluecalm
by Bronze Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 5:34 PM
He's 3 years, 5 months and he just started biting in the last couple of weeks. I figure the same thing, he'd bite there too and I'd have lots more problems.


Quoting mem82:

Is he a biter? Is he an old three or a new three? I would think that if he is a biter, putting him in to prek will just give him more people to bite. LOL

Quoting Bluecalm:

This is awful. He had his speech and language evaluation today and when it was time to go he got mad and threw his stickers away. The speech therapist wouldn't let him have more and he pitched an unholy fit. They are going to bring in an OT to evaluate him too because the therapists are thinking he has some sensory issues. Anyway, as I was carrying him out he bit my hand hard enough to draw blood. An older lady who works there followed me out and was helping me put him into the car. She asked if he was in school and when I said no she started yelling at me and said he NEEDS to be in preschool, that is why he is having temper tantrums and biting me and if I don't send him to school he is going to grow up to beat me up. O.M.G.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Bluecalm
by Bronze Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 5:44 PM
It would have been better if I could have gotten him calmed down at the rehab center but it was packed today with no spare rooms to go into. Even the restroom was occupied. He had himself in a frenzy, was trying to knock pictures off the walls as we passed and I was trying to get him out of there as fast as possible. He bit and latched on like a bulldog and then ripped a piece of my skin off with his teeth. It hurt so badly that I started crying- very embarrassing and not like me. My poor 6 year old was upset over the whole thing and started to cry too. The only one not crying was my 3 year old, though he did look pretty horrified when he saw the bite mark.


Quoting debramommyof4:

 That is crazy.  He is obviously acting out because he is angry and while I would have made him calm down if he was mine (no speach, language or other disabilities), it sounds like that is harder to do with your son.  He may not be able to express himself well enough to figure out how to handle his anger.  That would not be addressed well in school.  They would just kick him out. 


Quoting Bluecalm:


This is awful. He had his speech and language evaluation today and when it was time to go he got mad and threw his stickers away. The speech therapist wouldn't let him have more and he pitched an unholy fit. They are going to bring in an OT to evaluate him too because the therapists are thinking he has some sensory issues. Anyway, as I was carrying him out he bit my hand hard enough to draw blood. An older lady who works there followed me out and was helping me put him into the car. She asked if he was in school and when I said no she started yelling at me and said he NEEDS to be in preschool, that is why he is having temper tantrums and biting me and if I don't send him to school he is going to grow up to beat me up. O.M.G.


 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
debramommyof4
by Silver Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 5:56 PM

 That is so hard. 

I told my husband about your son (I hope you do not mind) and he reminded me that when my oldest was 1 she started biting while he was deployed and the only thing that worked to help her was emotion faces on popscile sticks. 

The therapist the military sent us to only saw us once because she was to young but she asked me to use these faces, happy, mad and sad to help her understand her emotions.

We (babysitter and I) worked with her daily for about 15 min. going over them and practicing a good way to show it. When we would go somewhere she took them with her and I would ask her to show me how she was feeling when she started acting upset.  Then I would mimic an appropriate behavior for that emotion. 

I do not know if that will help him or not but it is worth a try.  We also started baby sign at that time and she quickly out grew it but she calmed down when she was able to express herself.

The pictures she put on kind of looked like these but constuction paper ones would work too.

http://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Stick-Kids-Feelings-Emotions-Clipart-for-Teaching-746861

Quoting Bluecalm:

It would have been better if I could have gotten him calmed down at the rehab center but it was packed today with no spare rooms to go into. Even the restroom was occupied. He had himself in a frenzy, was trying to knock pictures off the walls as we passed and I was trying to get him out of there as fast as possible. He bit and latched on like a bulldog and then ripped a piece of my skin off with his teeth. It hurt so badly that I started crying- very embarrassing and not like me. My poor 6 year old was upset over the whole thing and started to cry too. The only one not crying was my 3 year old, though he did look pretty horrified when he saw the bite mark.


Quoting debramommyof4:

 That is crazy.  He is obviously acting out because he is angry and while I would have made him calm down if he was mine (no speach, language or other disabilities), it sounds like that is harder to do with your son.  He may not be able to express himself well enough to figure out how to handle his anger.  That would not be addressed well in school.  They would just kick him out. 


Quoting Bluecalm:


This is awful. He had his speech and language evaluation today and when it was time to go he got mad and threw his stickers away. The speech therapist wouldn't let him have more and he pitched an unholy fit. They are going to bring in an OT to evaluate him too because the therapists are thinking he has some sensory issues. Anyway, as I was carrying him out he bit my hand hard enough to draw blood. An older lady who works there followed me out and was helping me put him into the car. She asked if he was in school and when I said no she started yelling at me and said he NEEDS to be in preschool, that is why he is having temper tantrums and biting me and if I don't send him to school he is going to grow up to beat me up. O.M.G.


 


 

Bluecalm
by Bronze Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 6:13 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you! I'll give the popsicle sticks a try. I don't mind you telling your dh because I'll take all the help I can get. He used Baby Sign when he was an infant because my 6 year old used it before he started speaking better. The therapist said today his language might score just a little delayed, but his articulation will be the low one.


Quoting debramommyof4:

 That is so hard. 


I told my husband about your son (I hope you do not mind) and he reminded me that when my oldest was 1 she started biting while he was deployed and the only thing that worked to help her was emotion faces on popscile sticks. 


The therapist the military sent us to only saw us once because she was to young but she asked me to use these faces, happy, mad and sad to help her understand her emotions.


We (babysitter and I) worked with her daily for about 15 min. going over them and practicing a good way to show it. When we would go somewhere she took them with her and I would ask her to show me how she was feeling when she started acting upset.  Then I would mimic an appropriate behavior for that emotion. 


I do not know if that will help him or not but it is worth a try.  We also started baby sign at that time and she quickly out grew it but she calmed down when she was able to express herself.


The pictures she put on kind of looked like these but constuction paper ones would work too.


http://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Stick-Kids-Feelings-Emotions-Clipart-for-Teaching-746861


Quoting Bluecalm:

It would have been better if I could have gotten him calmed down at the rehab center but it was packed today with no spare rooms to go into. Even the restroom was occupied. He had himself in a frenzy, was trying to knock pictures off the walls as we passed and I was trying to get him out of there as fast as possible. He bit and latched on like a bulldog and then ripped a piece of my skin off with his teeth. It hurt so badly that I started crying- very embarrassing and not like me. My poor 6 year old was upset over the whole thing and started to cry too. The only one not crying was my 3 year old, though he did look pretty horrified when he saw the bite mark.



Quoting debramommyof4:


 That is crazy.  He is obviously acting out because he is angry and while I would have made him calm down if he was mine (no speach, language or other disabilities), it sounds like that is harder to do with your son.  He may not be able to express himself well enough to figure out how to handle his anger.  That would not be addressed well in school.  They would just kick him out. 



Quoting Bluecalm:



This is awful. He had his speech and language evaluation today and when it was time to go he got mad and threw his stickers away. The speech therapist wouldn't let him have more and he pitched an unholy fit. They are going to bring in an OT to evaluate him too because the therapists are thinking he has some sensory issues. Anyway, as I was carrying him out he bit my hand hard enough to draw blood. An older lady who works there followed me out and was helping me put him into the car. She asked if he was in school and when I said no she started yelling at me and said he NEEDS to be in preschool, that is why he is having temper tantrums and biting me and if I don't send him to school he is going to grow up to beat me up. O.M.G.



 



 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
collinsmommy0
by Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 7:15 PM
You don't need preschool in order to develop social skills or make friends

I also feel the pressure - I live in an area where a lot of parents do pre-pre school starting at age 1. DS is 2.5 & most of the kids in my moms group are in pre-preschool now 2-3 days a week for 2-3 hours......some at parent participation some not. Some go to 'full time pre preschool' at Montessori schools 8:30-3. Other kids are signed up for classes most days of the week.....we do gymnastics once a week and try to do something social once a week with moms group or just friends with kids around DSs age.
Christie1952
by on Nov. 12, 2013 at 12:09 PM

If he interacts with other children then he is socializing! Do not let the media force you into doing something that could be harmful to him.  Does he play well with others of his own age? That is socialization!

AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 1:34 PM

How old was that lady?

Preschoolers bite. ESPECIALLY kids IN preschool. Lol.


Quoting Bluecalm:

He's 3 years, 5 months and he just started biting in the last couple of weeks. I figure the same thing, he'd bite there too and I'd have lots more problems.


Quoting mem82:

Is he a biter? Is he an old three or a new three? I would think that if he is a biter, putting him in to prek will just give him more people to bite. LOL

Quoting Bluecalm:

This is awful. He had his speech and language evaluation today and when it was time to go he got mad and threw his stickers away. The speech therapist wouldn't let him have more and he pitched an unholy fit. They are going to bring in an OT to evaluate him too because the therapists are thinking he has some sensory issues. Anyway, as I was carrying him out he bit my hand hard enough to draw blood. An older lady who works there followed me out and was helping me put him into the car. She asked if he was in school and when I said no she started yelling at me and said he NEEDS to be in preschool, that is why he is having temper tantrums and biting me and if I don't send him to school he is going to grow up to beat me up. O.M.G.





I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff:  we're Catholic, we're conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee















KrissyKC
by Silver Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 2:27 PM

No, it's not a need in any way.   Socialization starts at home.   That being said, I did put all three of my older ones into preschool at 4 (part time, church run small preschools) just for different reasons.

My eldest, we weren't "homeschooling" yet and I was having to work.   She went to part time preschool/daycare while we worked overlapping shifts.   It was not the best experience for her because the teachers were all young women that had children in the program, and my child got picked on (at 4) for not having her hair or nails done in a salon.   When she complained, the teachers sided with their own kids and punnished her.

My second eldest, we were public schooling our eldest and I put him in the free preschool (two days a week for a few hours) through the public school.   That went pretty good.   He enjoyed it.

My third?  She is very hyper and often has a hard time when I'm teaching the others.   So between her and the new baby, I decided she would benefit from part time preschool as much as we would benefit from a few hours without her to teach the deeper subjects.   We put her in a small church run preK and it was wonderful.  Exactly what preschool should be!

I'm not sure what I'll do with the baby when he gets there.   Just depends on a lot.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN