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DD Still wants to go to high school but I have a plan. Am I being too hard? Update

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Question: Do you think I'm being unfair?

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Yes, I think you are.

No, not at all.

Eh, I'll explain in the replies.


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I had a long talk with dd. She admitted that the public school draw was more social than anything else but it's more important for her to be learning. So she's decided to stay homeschooled.

Another change I'm making, is how we do school work. For the next month or so, I'm going to try real world learning. Instead of traditional algebra, dd is going to be figuring out her monthly payments for a 10,000 dollar Mustang convertible with a 7.5 interest rate. Or I'll have her deposit a check  in her account with a negative balance, then see how many bills she can pay and have money left for groceries. I'm also planning on having her do a lot more cooking and baking, something she enjoys but I just haven't found time to do. I'm trying to encourage her to read more by paying her 1.5 cents per page,lol. Writing she's always been good at and for science and history I'd like to watch more documentaries with her so she can find topics that interest her. She's pretty excited about this change. Wish me luck!

After coming back from her aunt's, dd is more insistent than ever about wanting to go to a "real" high school. (Sil and her bf spun tales of all the social experiences she'll be missing out on) I'm completely against it. She's already so behind as it is and there's no way she could keep pace in a high school setting.

Then I had a plan. My teaching style is very relaxed and laid back. The kids learn what they're interested in at their own pace. But, if she truly wants to go back to public school, that would have to change. I would look up common core and start teaching her to those standards. She would have to work very hard to catch up and by the end of summer, I would test her. If she is at or above where she needs to be, I'll send her to high school. If not, she'll have to stay home for another year.

She told me I was being unfair, and I'm just trying to make it hard on purpose. 

by on Nov. 14, 2013 at 11:37 AM
Replies (21-30):
mem82
by Platinum Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 9:10 AM
Basically this. I appreciate you wanting your daughter to find her passion but I think you need to buckle down more. (all of my opinion based solely on what I have read on here which may or may not correlate to real life.) It seems you are both a bit too wishy washy with bursts of hard core feelings that are too intense to actually be kept up. You have mentioned how much you would be unhappy with school at home and you are always looking to make things fun and gentle. Threatening your daughter with cc teaching isn't something I think you would be able or want to follow through with and your daughter will figure that out. I'm on my tablet so this may not be the best explanation of my feelings but I tried. Lol

Quoting Chasing3:

i agree i can't tell you what to do, but I can say what I would do in the situation.

I'd insist my dd can't change her mind on a whim and she is stickind with current decision for one full year.

AND I'd insist that I am going to teaching to some standards. Not necessarily CC, because I can't deal with that, but not really relaxed either. I'd pick a few things that have to be done daily: math, reading, writing and then a choice from a list of something else (grammar, spelling, vocab, geography, language, etc). I'd say science and social studies can roll into the daily reading/writing requirement - after all, you've got 5 days a week, so if she read and wrote on science once day, on Social Studies (or history) another, then there's still 3 other days to read fiction or non fiction and write on those or an other topic. And, I'd try to mix in field trips, art projects, music appreciation, physical exercise as I see fit.

That's just what I'd do. If I didn't make some rules and aim to mostly stick to a plan, all I'd get done is surfing the web, hitting the gym, drinking coffee and chatting on the phone and if I got a load of laundry done in a day, I'd be patting myself on the back for being so productive. And all my ds would do is play video games and watch tv!

does she struggle with reading? I can give you an idea for a reading program I really, really like.

MamaLauri
by Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 9:36 AM

I think you want to know how she is doing against the core.

With an individualized education she should be doing better than in public school. (A study using the Woodcock-Johnson Test of Achievement and well matched peers, determined that in 5 of the 7 academic areas homeschoolers were at least one grade level ahead of public schoolers, and 1/2 grade higher in math.)

If she has challenge areas, those need to be identified and addressed.

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 9:56 AM

Alright. It's more of a bluff really. I know for a fact she won't go through with it. I'm just irritated that she keeps wanting to go to "real school". Doesn't she remember what PS was like? She was bored to tears and begged to come home. She thinks high school is going to be like the movies...

My real plan is to continue de-schooling her until after the first of the year, then to focus on reading, writing/grammar, and math, 5x a week, alternating with science, history and social studies. I'm still going to make them as fun as I can though :-) As for her brother, what we're doing now is working for him. But then aagin, he's 8.

Quoting mem82:

Basically this. I appreciate you wanting your daughter to find her passion but I think you need to buckle down more. (all of my opinion based solely on what I have read on here which may or may not correlate to real life.) It seems you are both a bit too wishy washy with bursts of hard core feelings that are too intense to actually be kept up. You have mentioned how much you would be unhappy with school at home and you are always looking to make things fun and gentle. Threatening your daughter with cc teaching isn't something I think you would be able or want to follow through with and your daughter will figure that out. I'm on my tablet so this may not be the best explanation of my feelings but I tried. Lol

Quoting Chasing3:

i agree i can't tell you what to do, but I can say what I would do in the situation.

I'd insist my dd can't change her mind on a whim and she is stickind with current decision for one full year.

AND I'd insist that I am going to teaching to some standards. Not necessarily CC, because I can't deal with that, but not really relaxed either. I'd pick a few things that have to be done daily: math, reading, writing and then a choice from a list of something else (grammar, spelling, vocab, geography, language, etc). I'd say science and social studies can roll into the daily reading/writing requirement - after all, you've got 5 days a week, so if she read and wrote on science once day, on Social Studies (or history) another, then there's still 3 other days to read fiction or non fiction and write on those or an other topic. And, I'd try to mix in field trips, art projects, music appreciation, physical exercise as I see fit.

That's just what I'd do. If I didn't make some rules and aim to mostly stick to a plan, all I'd get done is surfing the web, hitting the gym, drinking coffee and chatting on the phone and if I got a load of laundry done in a day, I'd be patting myself on the back for being so productive. And all my ds would do is play video games and watch tv!

does she struggle with reading? I can give you an idea for a reading program I really, really like.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

mommy2adandykid
by on Nov. 15, 2013 at 2:23 PM

honestly, if she is 'so far behind' you need to put her in regular school NOW.  get over yourself-you failed at homeschooling. move on.  

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 6:31 PM
1 mom liked this

Wow...first let me say, you suck.

Secondly, I pulled her out two months ago. Public school is the reason she's so far behind, not me.

Quoting mommy2adandykid:

honestly, if she is 'so far behind' you need to put her in regular school NOW.  get over yourself-you failed at homeschooling. move on.  


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

debramommyof4
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 6:36 PM
1 mom liked this

 That was harsh.  We come here for advice and support not to be attacked.  We all get enough of that from people who do not understand or appreciate homeschool.  And while you may believe someone is a failure, please try to give them advice or be more gentle with your opinion. 

I am sure you would hate it if some one told you "You suck"  Or you are a failure.

Quoting mommy2adandykid:

honestly, if she is 'so far behind' you need to put her in regular school NOW.  get over yourself-you failed at homeschooling. move on.  

 

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 6:39 PM

She was, and I asked her those same questions. She told me, she just wants to go for a month or a week just so she can say she did.

I think I'm going to print it out too. Just to see where we're at. And sadly no, none too close by. I believe I saw a couple but they're a couple cities over and I don't have a car plus Dh works funky hours and I babysit.

Quoting TidewaterClan:

No, I don't think so. She was having a rough time in ps earlier this year right?

Does she remember all the busy work and how long everything took? Or she didn't do a whole lot of it so wouldn't care too much if she did go back?

I think going over the common core with her is a good idea. I printed ours out just to have an idea of how much we were covering. I know the teachers last year didn't meet all of the math especially, but your daughter doesn't need to know that!

Do you have many hs groups near you? One by us has an hs prom. She doesn't have to miss out on cute boys to be able to work at her own pace. :)


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

jteffs
by on Nov. 15, 2013 at 6:41 PM

I'm just curious - you talk about her not putting for the effort and not trying...but what are you doing at home that's different from school? If she doesn't put in the effort anywhere (that's how your post read to me) then what difference does it make where she is? If she's obviously not trying? They kept her back in 7th grade, she's in 8th grade now, and you just pulled her out two months ago - right? So I'm not sure if you've helped her or how you even intend to help her...

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 6:41 PM

Sorry... I did tell her she suckedembarrassed

Thank you though. I really appreciate it.

Quoting debramommyof4:

 That was harsh.  We come here for advice and support not to be attacked.  We all get enough of that from people who do not understand or appreciate homeschool.  And while you may believe someone is a failure, please try to give them advice or be more gentle with your opinion. 

I am sure you would hate it if some one told you "You suck"  Or you are a failure.

Quoting mommy2adandykid:

honestly, if she is 'so far behind' you need to put her in regular school NOW.  get over yourself-you failed at homeschooling. move on.  

 


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 6:46 PM

She does put more effort in at home. One, because I can give her one on attention, and two, I try my best to make it interesting.

Initally, we got started with a ciriculum but I saw she needed more time to de-school so I'm giving her till the first of the year.

Quoting jteffs:

I'm just curious - you talk about her not putting for the effort and not trying...but what are you doing at home that's different from school? If she doesn't put in the effort anywhere (that's how your post read to me) then what difference does it make where she is? If she's obviously not trying? They kept her back in 7th grade, she's in 8th grade now, and you just pulled her out two months ago - right? So I'm not sure if you've helped her or how you even intend to help her...


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

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